[ya ya sisterhood]

Flo came over again last weekend (yay!), on fri nite so tt she cld accompany me to physio next morning. I was afraid I'd be in terrible pain like the last time I went to the ortho, so my sweetie agreed to accompany me. Was really touched, never had someone care for me so much. Ok yeah some say parents - but I think my parents decided I should fend on my own after I reached a certain age. No more accompanying me to doctor's appts, no more fetching me from sch after a long day. I guess that's part of growing up, but it wouldn't hurt if they did once in awhile. Ok well..emo child speaking there..

Anyway, we were watching Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood on sat nite (I refused to let flo go home hehe). Watched it cos Sandra Bullock was starring, and well, sakura asked me to watch it on dvd last time but I didn't. It was a very very emotional show. I thought it was gonna be some crappy comedy where she usually has bimbotic roles in, but it was so meaningful. Gist of it is about Sandra Bullock's character coming to terms with shit that happened in her childhood, mostly due to her mum's (Ashley Judd/Ellen Burstyn) behaviour - including several bouts of depression and unconventional parenting techniques. Sandra being the eldest took the brunt of the crap and had been in therapy trying to figure out what did SHE do wrong. And her fiance wanted her to figure things out since it was troubling her a lot..and basically..well...end her "feud" with her mum.

The movie kinda conjured up a few memories abt my own relationship with my parents. My mother went thru a couple of severe depression episodes as well; she was unhappy with her marriage, and things weren't easy with my grandmother picking up fights with her very often, and my brother was in the worst stages of his behavioural issues. I guess I was her stabilising factor, so she used to come to me a lot for support. Not that I didn't want to, but I didn't know how to, and well, after awhile, I got irritated. Why was she always coming to me? Can't she ask someone else for help? I had to deal with a lot of issues myself, like bearing my brother's abuse, which was much more than physical. And I felt that she didn't listen to me, and kept focusing on herself. I guess that's why I learnt to shut myself up in my little cocoon, bottling up all my issues.

And then there were several scenes in the movie where the dad loved the mum so much, even tho he knew he could never be first place in her heart because her first love killed himself. It was so freaking touching - he stood by her through her crisis, even shifted out of their bedroom to give her the space she wanted. And at the end of the day, he still reached out his hand to tell her that she was the best thing that happened in his life. My tears just flowed out, couldn't hold them back anymore. It was awfully moving, tho I wondered whether I cried because of that scene, or bcos of the scenes which showed them constantly fighting and arguing while the children were huddled up in their rooms wondering what might happen next, whether they'd be able to sleep that night - scenes which invoked memories I'd rather not talk about. And it could also be bcos I've always longed for my parents to get along, without the shouting and screaming that got worse, without me needing to blast my CD player at night so I couldn't hear what was going on in the next room, without the threats of divorce and what have you. Though I've come to realise now that things are much much much more peaceful now that my parents are apart.

I was thoroughly glad that Florence was there with me during the movie. She's the only one so far I've told all my shit to. And her hug was all I needed to feel better. Thanks dear =) I know you may not understand everything I'm going through, or why I'm going through what I'm going through at this stage of my life; but to have you by my side is all I need.

I'll probably be feeling emo for some time to come. Warning to those of you who still decide to stay in contact with me. Haha. I'm seeing a counselor cos I finally decided to tackle my issues, or even find out what my issues are. I'm glad I've taken the first step, altho I almost chickened out the first time my counselor called me. (And all she wanted to say was hi lol) But I think I'm gonna be eternally grateful to her, cos she's doing it on a voluntary basis. I'd feel better if I was paying. Dunno how to broach the topic tho. For now, I'll stick to bringing eternally grateful. heh. I melted when she said "I want to be a part of your healing process", and she said it so sincerely. Gosh, I think if I had the privacy of my room now I'd be sobbing again lol. =)

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You Are 24% Obsessive

You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control.Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life.

How Obsessive Are You?

[la la la]

I'm looking forward to my LA trip. Two weeks more. Wee!

Ok pardon my crappiness...been having mood swings lately. But eccentricity makes life interesting, don't it? ;)

I've put up a list of my must-sees and these include:

1. Hollywood! (hope to do some STAR gazing)
2. Disneyland (I wanna meet Mickey!!)
3. Universal Studios
4. Get a tan at Long Beach (like I need one...just wanna check out a few hot bods haha)
5. Check out the gay bars at Santa Monica Blvd
6. Hop over to Arizona for a couple of days to see the Grand Canyon. Wouldn't wanna miss that chance since we're only a few hours away.
7. Have loads of fun!!

Sounds like a good plan??

[my angst]

We've heard enough of you
Your never-ending so-called wisdom
When really what we want
Is simply a bit of our freedom

Your feelings, your jobs, your pride
You only care about yourself
I wonder why you bother
To enquire about our health

Confident, intelligent, affectionate
To the world you may seem
But how you really treat us
Brings down our self esteem

Face the person you are
Fierce, intimidating and uptight
We're gonna make you realize that one day
We're gonna put up a fight

[I'm grateful]

~I bet my sister wishes she could sit down on the bed on a Sunday night filing her feet too.~

Ok I just had to add that line. Realised that while work seems a bore since u have to work for the rest of ur life, at least u're not at ur wits end figuring out integration questions which are very likely NOT gonna be the most important life lessons, and struggling to finish up your history essay.

After weeks of battling invasive germs trying to throw my immune system over, I think my body finally gave up. Front, right, centre...got help from dad's and a couple of colleague's very powerful germs and found myself having a nasty sorethroat on Thur. I went to the doc, coughed so loudly till the doctor didn't have to ask much, took my meds then slept the day away. Sleep was GOOD. Fri morn I could hardly open my eyes, so my sweet father went to the doc to extend my MC for me. Yay! (Ok I'm not suggesting asking ur fathers to extend ur MC's for u...I guess my family doc knows I see her only when I'm like pathetically sick..and yeah..this was one of those occasions...).

My sweetie came to look after me thru' the weekend. She came over after work on Fri to look after me (after my complaining that sis n dad weren't doing a good job haha). She bought me my fave blueberry cheese tart along with a lot of other stuff which gave me a much better appetite than fish curry. Bummed ard on Sat till flo had the urge to tidy up my messy kitchen tho what I really needed was someone to help me clean up my room. So off we went, scrubbing n exterminating any ants that were within sight. After the kitchen got spruced up, we rested a bit. Then started on my room...which is finally clean and tidy. Wee! Can celebrate hari raya oredi since spring cleaning is done hahaha. I'm still waiting for sis to do her portion tho...I tidied as much as I cld...except her junk. Bleah. This is why I'm not motivated to tidy...no one helps and I have to do 2 person's work. So darling, thank you so much for helping me. And of course for taking care of me nite n day. MUAKS!!!

[poem]

A simple gesture

Like putting tissue around my cup

That's your caring feature

That makes my heart go dub

*

I wasn't supposed to fall in love

Many months ago

But when I found my beautiful dove

I realized that was the only way to go

*

You make me feel so wholesome

With you my spirit becomes so intense

You put up with my tantrum

My whining and my nonsense

*

I'm sorry if I ask a lot

But only because I feel inadequate

Be apart from you I cannot

This love to nothing I can equate

***

-anonymous

[fireworks fanfare]

was attempting to do a collage of fireworks pics. then realised...my photoshop skills suck. so well..make do with just this simple one...

[my kewl nokia n73]

Can't believe I didn't blog this sooner. I think I got excited bragging to everyone on msn that i forgot abt my blog haha. Gotta show off my yet another latest gadget - my new Nokia N73! Woohoo! My darling Auntie bought it for me. It cost a great deal, much more than the presents I'm accustomed to, I think my most expensive b'day gift EVER. Thank you so much!!! My phone was due for a change in Sept, so I was expecting to wait till then to get a phone at a cheaper rate; but I guess my lucky stars were shining heh. Auntie didn't mind purchasing it without any subcription extension, etc, from a mobile shop along a string of mobile phone shops at Woodlands old town. They gave a pretty good trade in price for my 7260 so yeah..I felt a bit better. Hehe.

Auntie said this was to make up for all the years of no prezzies or no proper prezzies..haha...I think I don't have to ask for another prezzie from her for a few more years to come hehe. The best part was when I chose an older model, and she said...go for a better one. And this phone is like new, and I mean brand new! Launched 3 days before the day I bought. So new they haven't even shipped in the protector pouch yet lol. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it..it even has a 3.2 megapix camera...N73 u're meant for me!! Hee. Wait till I change my sim to a 3G enabled one...she's gonna see my face more often haha (she bought a 3G yesterday for herself so that we could video call each other heh). So while I play with my new toy, here's a pic of how it looks.

P.S. see I told u it just gets better..haha :P

[fireworks on national day]

Preview...

My best shot...and it's pathetic. Hmph. Gonna try again this Sat.

[Waiting for my retreat]

Ahhhh Part 2 is awesome!! Was waiting eagerly for the surprise that I'd receive in my mail. Guess what it is? A spa voucher!!! Weeeee!!! Thanks girls!! Just perfect! Hehe. At The Retreat some more..look so high class. La la la la la. In dream land now...deciding which branch to go to...far far at Changi but nice scenery...or nearer at Orchard...hmmm.... :P

[It just gets better!]

Wow! I love surprises. And I love birthdays even more; cos that's when I get even more surprises! Pleasant ones too heh.

After a failed attempt at star-gazing on Friday at the science centre observatory (it started pouring the instant we stepped into the place!) and a dinner (not-so-treat) at a hawker centre, I thought I wasn't gonna enjoy my b'day. Ok well, I enjoyed the piece of strawberry cake that GH bought me, esp after the trouble she went through asking the person what all the cakes contained (she didn't want to get anything with alcohol in it for me...sweet little girl).

On Sat I went back to Crescent for Sakura's speech day. She got two awards - Best in Humanities (HY) and Bronze award for her O-level results. I told her I was jealous cos I only got the Bronze award last time haha. Anyway, it was Crescent's 50th anniversary so the speech day was special. They launched some arts conservatory thingy, and the guest of honour was Stella Ng, who is apparently famous but I've never heard of before lol. She was pretty nervous cos it was her first speech ever, but I think she did pretty well. Wise words for a lady her age. And her dress was very girly-pretty too. Lucky prize winners - got to shake hands with a celeb heh. After the nostalgic presentation of the 50 yrs of Crescentian-hood, I must say I felt pretty proud to be a Crescent girl. Saw a couple of pics which had myself n my frens (it was Crescent's 40th when we were in Sec 1..wow time flies!). Can't imagine I actually remembered the school song which I sang with pride at the end of the ceremony. The day when we must part, may Crescent remain in our hearts!

Later on watched Cabaret with Aishah. She was still limping from her op but at least without the tongkat tsk tsk. It was a very entertaining piece, very provocative and sexy too ;). Then again, it's Cabaret...not exactly a family-friendly show as Fei Xiang put it heh. It was a good mixture of harsh facts of reality of the Nazis during Hitler's time, and the razzle dazzle of show biz. I liked the lead actress, pretty good acting, but she was kinda petite...hard to stand out. And I decided I ain't gonna buy a 3rd category ticket anymore haha. We were sitting in Circle 2 but right at the back...ok lah..I could see..with my glasses on...but can't see their expressions clearly. I'm a visual person ;) The show was quite short, both of us thought it would be around 2 hours, but after the half way intermission, there was only 30 mins to the end, so it was only 1.5 hrs. After the show...there was a failed attempt to treat me at Haagen Dazs. I usually (try to) pay for Aishah since she's still studying n all. So when the bill came, ironically directly to me as if they knew I was the one with the money lol, I quickly took out my card. Then only later on Aishah was like..u know what..i wanted to treat u. haha. oh well. next time i shld learn to read hints better :P After that I met Flo who treated me at Nana Thai for dinner. We went back to her hang out...then I went back home.

Sunday morning I finally got to sleep in. Woke up happy at 10.30 and excused myself from cooking :P Had to rush to tidy the room cos computer guy was coming to install our original XP (the pirated one kept worrying my dad cos he said he didn't wanna get caught lol). Then Sakura n I went to Marina Square to meet the berries for lunch. I was like half an hour late...but well...I was the guest of honour afterall hehe. (Ok lah, I did feel bad coming late...sorry..). I was surprised to see Isma there. Was also surprised that Sakura came along..hmm..my friends have a good insider. We went to Swenson's after (another) Thai lunch (theme this yr: saf likes thai food apparently. haha) for ice creaaammmmm. Yummy. Haha. Shared choc malt with Isma, was getting a bit high (we think Far was already high on her peanut butter float!). The girls had to go off after we took some pics and prezzie time [I got a handbag yay! i suspect sakura told them wat i wanted..hmmm] Sobs..what workaholics they are tsk tsk. But anyway I had a great time with them. Thanks gals! Really made my day =)

Was so surprised that Flo came to join us. Found out that she was in "it" too, she knew what time the rest were leaving so she came just as they were leaving. She surprised me with a sunflower bouquet...hee. Was so happy. Too bad she took it out after the rest left..so I cldn't show it off. Hahaha. Sorry, but I'm a sucker for romantic gestures keke. Anyway, I made sure half the town saw my flowers cos I carried them in my arms everywhere tsk tsk. So much so Flo didn't want so much attention we were getting :P. The best part was when she was asking me what she should get me, I vaguely thought "a bunch of flowers wld be nice" and voila! I guess we're so close that we can sense each other's vibes. kewl. Now I should start plucking the petals...she loves me...loves me not...

Ended the day with mum's treat at Newton food centre. She was craving for ikan bakar for a long time and the last time we came here the place was under renovation. So we used this as an excuse to go there. The new place looks nice but I think the ventilation sucks. The sheltered seating places were so smoky, luckily we got an open air table. We had huge prawns, ikan bakar, and some vege dishes...and to top it up we had music accompaniment by an orchestra. As if I hadn't eaten enough for the day, we went to NYDC at Orchard to have dessert. Wanted to spend more time with mum. The cheese cake was a disappointment but the mudpie was yum yum. I didn't enjoy my mocha drink either...wanted to grab sakura's latte. We had a great time chilling n laughing then headed home. Well what can I say, I had a great 24th! =)

P.S. Am waiting EAGERLY for part 2 of the berry surprise!

[missing vertebrate]

Alas, after 4 doctors and plenty of x-rays...I finally got an answer as to why my back has been killing me, and will probably do so for a long time to come (boo). I apparently have 4 lumbar vertebrates instead of the usual 5...so my poor lower back is working overtime. I found it pretty amusing actually...almost laughed out..my initial reaction was "oopsie something's missing". haha. I think I'm going a bit wonky with all the stress. Jumping from doc to doc n not finding a solution. And worse still having doctors who don't believe I'm in terrible pain and say that i CLAIM to have the pain or that I just have to live with it since I've been living with it for the past 5 yrs. Like seriously, just cos I've been living with it doesn't mean I get immune to the pain or something. And I'd think looking for second/third/fourth opinions wld actually imply I need some relieve but apparently they fail to see that point. I think doctors should have a "how to treat patients nicely" module in their curriculum, or a guideline that says "don't make patients lose hope juz cos u can't do anything for them" one.

Oh well..a little bio for those who have no idea what I'm talking abt..enjoy the diagram haha. I guess I'll have to stick to drugging myself with painkillers that don't actually work and tossing and turning at night to find a comfortable position to sleep. But I could use this as an excuse to go for more massages; swedish, thai, javanese, the works hehe. I should shower more love to my dearest four lumbars who've been working overtime for me :P And of course, I wanna thank my sweetheart flo for looking after me so well the other day when I could hardly walk. Thank god she followed me to the clinic or else I wldn't have survived the journey home alone. Love u loads babe. Muak! (hope this ain't too emo for the lot of u who read this heh)

[solitary in the spotlight]

Untrusting but gullible. The sociable recluse. Contradicting eh?

I went for a gathering on Sat night at the wine company (no i wasn't drinking). I didn't really wanna go but since my friends were pretty eager abt me attending, i tagged along. It was err.. a bit dull for me cos I didn't feel like mingling with the crowd, and not that I usually do. It didn't help that I hardly knew anyone in the crowd. It was funny that the girl sitting at our table asked me why I wasn't mingling, then she admitted she wasn't much of a "mingler" herself heh. The ironic part was that I was sitting in a very conspicuous spot, directly in the line of the spotlight. As the night went by, I had several ppl coming up to me and asking me why I was just sitting there..tsk tsk..I cleverly replied that I was waiting for ppl to come to the gal in the spotlight. Tho that didn't happen...much... But ok lah...I enjoyed the company, and the few conversations I had were meaningful. Wine anyone?

[I don't do boy presents]

Had a busy weekend (ok what's new..). On Sat, went out with my colleagues to watch Greece at the OmniMax. We were so enthusiastic..or at least AL was...that when we entered the theatre close to 10 am (yup early indeed..), we were the only ones there. For a moment we thought they'd be screening the movie just for us, then a few more ppl trickled in. I had to limp the way back to jurong east central cos my sandal strap broke (clumsy me!) and GH's plaster cldn't hold it...pretty embarrassing...but luckily it was just them. I mean, like luckily I wasn't out on a date or anything when it happened... Grabbed a pair of sandals from the first shoe shop we saw then went for lunch. Had a fantastic day, complete with star-gazing and all =)

Sunday..hmm..was half an hour late meeting ery. Was supposed to get her a b'day prezzie. She was pretty fickle abt what she wanted, but at least we didn't spend that long shopping. Then I met up with a friend to pass her some CD's...was nice to catch up. I lost Ery half way...so err I guess we decided to go our separate ways. Was thinking of what to get Andrew for his b'day but I didn't know what was suitable...male colleague, close but not close, and the worst part is that I realised I hardly buy prezzies for guys. (Ok I guess Y was an exception...but that was easy...he was my bf...he had to like whatever I got him...haha...plus I didn't have to worry whether the gifts wld be too personal.) Anyway I settled for a Nike cap...yeah...I like it. I hope I don't have to do boy prezzie shopping again anytime soon...big headache...and I usually prefer getting cute stuff!

[Life's worth the little things like when...]

1. Your sister tugs at the bedsheet and makes sure ur legs are fully covered.

2. Your ex-student calls you to tell you he's made it and he wants you to continue teaching him.

3. You're being wooed ;)

Hee =)

[question]

when ur friend doesn't accept u for who u are, is that still a friend?

[Tourist for a day]

Two Singaporean ladies were spotted this weekend disguising as tourists. Born and bred on the island, the sisters were on a weekend getaway at Conrad Centennial Hotel on a promotional offer. We caught up with them in their 15th storey room overlooking the Fountain of Wealth.

"We wanted a break and since we heard about this offer, we thought why not give it a try. So far, we've been shopping at Suntec City and we just returned from viewing the colourful light display at the world's largest fountain," commented the girls, who were trying hard to spot a half-baked English accent.

Princess, 23, and Precious, 16, [names have been concealed to protect identity] were impressed by the excellent service provided in the grand hotel - from a luxurious bedroom complete with a mini-bar and iron board, to a spacious bathroom with a bathtub and shower facilities (and a rubber duckie!) and even greetings from the chambermaid as they walked along the corridoor. Our inspection of the vicinity revealed that there were not many guests staying at the hotel. In fact, other than the few Japanese and Caucasian tourists, many seemed to be locals probably taking advantage of the promotion too. By 9pm, the place was so deserted that the sisters actually had the entire swimming pool to themselves! The buffet breakfast was served by friendly waiters eagerly refilling half-drunk drinks and clearing plates promptly.

When asked if they enjoyed their stay, the sisters instantly replied, "It was worth every penny. It was nice being a tourist for a day, being treated with brilliant service and we'd consider doing something like this again."

P.S. They were reluctant to check out. When they returned home, Princess realised she left behind her new swimming suit in the bathroom. Tsk tsk.

[I want to snooze...for a week...]

Ok, maybe for just a day. I had a terribly busy week last week. Didn't go home directly after work every single day. What was I up to?

Mon: Was supposed to collect my new editing assignment from Mel, but it wasn't ready. So since I had the car, brought Mum (+Jam+Flo) to check out laptops at Courts. It was our shortest shopping trip ever. I think it lasted for less than 30 seconds cos the range was so limited and the prices high. Dinner took longer...about an hour or so. It was really fun b'cos we were crapping and having a really good time. The waiter was pretty impressive...he remembered all our orders without writing anything down, right down to our individual drinks. Cool. After dinner, we picked Auntie up from work - poor Flo was trapped between my mum and aunt...it was really chaotic in the car till I had to make an effort to switch them off so that I could concentrate on the road. Hope flo didn't get scared by the loud bunch that we are!

Tues: Our last Swedish lesson, for now. Cecilia was late returning from her Swedish National Day celebrations and she locked herself out. So we had our lesson by the pool side, al-fresco. It was a convenient setting bcos we were doing conversations anyway. I was having a splitting headache and it really didn't help. I kept forgetting words and saying the wrong thing till Cecilia made me repeat my sentence and I was like...err I forgot what I said. Lol. Not a nice way to end this batch of lessons. We're such enthusiastic students that we'll be meeting up at Gina's place tmr for a Swedish movie with a Swedish dinner (bless her for being such a gracious host). We get to meet Toby too! Her 7 mth old kid. Perhaps he'll blabber to us in Swedish!

Wed: Open mic session at the Library@Esplanade to support Mel's friend. Was glad we went. The first artist, Andrea Hamilton, is really talented. All she had a guitar and a mike (and a keyboard later) and yet her performance was incredible. Hope to catch her again on the 21st. Check out www.andreahamiltononline.com for some of her mp3's. Mel's friend was pretty good too, esp his rendition of Goo Goo Dolls' Iris. Looking forward to hearing him play for us. Mel..organise a get-together so that we can swoon at his music!

Thur: Gym. Where I got really pissed. This is why:

1) Had I not gone to find out how many training sessions I had left, no one wld've told me that my stupid trainer is no longer working there.

2) My stupid trainer is no longer working there. He got caught freelancing during working hours (how ironic, esp after he warned me not to bring my own trainer), had to make a choice btw working at cali and freelancing and I guess he decided the latter pays better.

3) They made me wait so long just to engage a fitness consultant to entertain me. Once when I just arrived, once after I had done my warm up on the treadmill, and they finally paged for the consultant as I was abt to leave. Great service. Remind me what the high membership fees are for again?

4) Fitness consultant pisses me off by saying he needs my plane ticket to verify that I was out of town. Who keeps plane tix tt are 4 mths old? wtf. Plus I already submitted it the wk after I came back. And I already submitted a letter from my head of dept abt my absence AND received a confirmation from cali that my membership had been suspended. He still had the nerve to ask me if I wanted more training after my sessions finished! Well, even tho they're assigning me a senior trainer (I really wonder if that means better service) I told him I was unimpressed by the service so far so there's no way I'm gonna continue.

Fri: Celebrated GH's b'day with AL. She insisted on a surprise so we didn't tell her where we were going. First we went to Thai Express at CityLink. The food there was pretty good. But the Phat Thai noodles I had in BKK was nicer. Went to Max Brenner's 2nd time this wk (1st time on Tues), and that really surprised GH. She's been wanting to go there for a really long time so I guess my suggestion to go there was a good idea. Yay. We walked ard to lose (a few) calories then sat and gossipped..and talked abt relationships. At the end of the day, the qs remaining was: are all guys poor communicators? Anyone care to enlighten us? Quick..before AL gives up on her man...

Sat: Went to see Sue and friends with jam n saki. Sue's a t-rex btw, or at least what's left of a t-rex. I must've not been to the Science Centre for a long time cos I don't remember so many exhibits there. The place looks pretty spruced up, with lots and lots of interesting and colourful exhibits, one experiment after another (tho not all always worked.) Some of the displays were pretty stimulating but then I think I've grown out of the place cos I was yawning a lot. (I guess it could also be bcos I slept late the night before). The simulator ride was pathetic; we didn't know what was going on cos the sound system was so bad. We just knew we were being tossed around left, right, centre. The OmniMax movie had a pretty lame storyline and the effects were nice but we were left quite dizzy after the show (I think jam's enthusiasm abt seeing the show for the first time turned into worry as she started feeling dizzy). The dino exhibit was pretty cool but I think the fossils were not that big (sorry but I saw bigger ones at the London Natural History Museum :P). I was pretty groggy by then so I skipped the dino simulator, which incidentally Jam and Saki said were much better than the first one. Bleah. Oh man, I sound grumpy. Ok ok it wasn't THAT bad...I had fun. Yes I did. We met mum n flo later on to go Sim Lim for more laptop hunting. They said I was too frank when I turned down a good offer by telling the salesman that I was fishing for prices to compare with a wholesaler contact I have. Ooops. Then again, I was caught off guard by his qs so I didn't have time to think up of a lie. tsk tsk. We had Chinese food for dinner then went home. I was dead tired but saki still had the energy to play with her new ipod so I went to sleep in my parents' room. Poor dad had to sleep on my bed hehe.

Sun: Was supp to be the day to rest at home. Instead, after finishing my editing work, I went to a health talk where I was totally bored. And to make things worse, miss annoying lady was there, but luckily she didn't bother me this time. I don't know, but I just get bad vibes from her so I better avoid her so that I can maintain my cool. I left the talk early so that I could go to gym. Then I realised I hadn't had lunch so the threadmill was really too much for me. I gave up after 12 mins and went on to do other stuff. Was pretty enthusiastic with the tummy crunching machines, felt pretty good after the workout. I finally tried the sauna but I didn't stay long. And then finally, got home, rested and relaxed during my well-deserved facial. Su came over to accompany Nad (her friend who does the facials) but I felt pretty bad cos I cldn't entertain her while I was having my facial. And they were keeping quiet so that I could doze off, but amidst saki's typing and printing, I don't think I went that deep into slumber.

I hope this week is less hectic. Today: straight home after work. Phew.

[My Latest Gadget]

I'm so so proud of my latest acquisition - a Canon PowerShot S3 IS. It's a digital SLR, 6 megapix, 12X optical zoom (beat that! and it's so light!), 360 degree view. Bought it at the PC Show at Suntec last Thur. I went off work earlier after asking my prof permission to "attend a function" :P. I fell in love with it pretty quickly but was wondering whether a) I should buy a slim and sleek one that my sis insisted on and b) whether I should spend abt $100 more than the slim and sleek one, which was anyway already (way) out of my budget. The Courts salesman was really enthusiastic, compared to the part-timers at the Canon booth who could just say "yes this is good" when we asked them for recommendations. They had pretty good free gifts, two 512MB SD cards, an SD card reader, a battery charger and a camera bag. I was casually mentioning tripods so the guy went to the store to "check" if there were any left (really lame sales tactic but I'm a sucker for free gifts anyway...). And when he said he'd include a tripod as well, I decided to buy the cam. Pretty good deal I think - all that for $849. I've been wanting an advanced camera, and I since this is the first time I can actually afford one, I really wanted to get it. Far was enticed by the camera too, what with her manual SLR which she took out to "impress" the guy with, so she bought one too. It'll be really cool, now we can exchange tips on taking pics with the cam. And use it on our Hello Panda adventure. Whee!!

My sis was of course not happy when she saw the camera. She was fuming when she saw the picture on the box, and when she opened it, she was like, "what?? so big??? i wanted one that could fit in my handbag!" I told her I'll repair the temperamental Fuji one and give to her. tsk tsk. Looking forward to taking great shots with my cam. Should play around with it a bit so that I can shoot cool stuff on my nature walk this weekend.

[Men See You As Choosy]

Men notice you light years before you notice them. You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky. You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter. It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

oh dear...maybe that's why the men aren't picking me.

[Pretty In Pink]

I had so much fun last Sun. We organised a 'surprise' party for Far's b'day. It wasn't too surprising, but she was surprised anyway haha. Mel and I were very excited about the party (I think she lives for parties heh). It was pretty easy getting the gifts, cos we had a theme in mind. So everywhere we went were like, hey that's pink! and that's pink! :P

It was the first in a LONG time I had friends over cos well..I have a certain phobia abt it. And as if my worst fears were abt to come true, my bro was home the morning of the party. Luckily he left quickly (I suppose u can guess the cause of my phobia...).

Anyway, it was like 12.15 and I was getting worried cos we were supposed to gather at 12 for pre-party prep. The spaghetti sauce was ready, along with meatballs and fish fingers for not-so-seafoodtarian Min. Luckily Sakura was there to calm me down a bit; with her "oh well far will prob be late too"...to which I argued "but I don't think she'll be late for her own party" tsk tsk. Finally at 12.25 Az came and I was like phew! The balloons were all blown up but I wasn't sure how to hang them securely, so she helped till the expert (Mel) came. I panicked a bit cos I realised I hardly bought any deco (just the b'day banner). I guess I was so excited about the party poppers that I thought the banner and balloons were sufficient. Az busied herself with the pasta while I ran around perspiring, making sure everything was ok. Min came awhile later with the pretty pink cake, then Sam, whom I haven't met for ages. We were so efficiently rushing things that we actually had time to spare...sitting down waiting for far to come (was glad when her "is it ok if i'm late" msg came..haha). We looked like armed soldiers all ready for a strike, complete with poppers and sprayers in hand.

As in all parties, we had lots of food to eat. My guests enjoyed my spaghetti (yay!) and we were bloated even before dessert. The best part came after lunch when the gals sat Far down to a makeover session. Ok, I missed that part cos I was busy doing the dishes...but the finished product looked great. Far had problems reconciling her polished nails, let down hair and her femininity. Lol. Glad she was game enough to be put thru that tho!

After taking silly pics and chilling, we went off to watch Da Vinci code. That was part 2 of her celebration cos she kept hinting (very clearly I must add) that she wanted to watch it cos it was showing near her b'day heh. We had ice cream for dessert and then went off. I was pretty hyped by the everything, very glad that everyone enjoyed the party. The balloons are still up on the walls, anyone wanna burst them for me? I'll wait for them to grow tiny then take them off...don't want them to burst accidentally! (yes I'm scared of popping balloons...)

[You Are A Professional Girlfriend!]

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

[emotional rollercoasters]

why do we take ourselves on emotional rollercoasters? it seems we never learn our lesson.

my friend just told me yesterday that the guy she's liked for abt two years annouced (on a monday morning no less) he was going to the ROM on the eve of her b'day. And that's just a few months after he told her he got attached, in Feb this year while she was feeling lonesome in sthlm. Nice b'day prezzie. Just weeks before, she blocked him in msn so that she wouldn't have to chat with him and cause herself further heartbreak. Yet I assume she unblocked him to keep in touch.

And then there's me, who promised myself I would get over my eye candy once I came home. I was pretty wrong, obviously, feelings can't be controlled. And when I received an email from the person last wk, after a month of no response and after assuming I had simply been taken for a ride since I was lonesome in a foreign country, I was all bouncy and grinning again (and had to put poor Far thru an ordeal with my shrieking relentlessly, thank god, on msn.) I think I'm crushing rather than eye-candying, but I wonder what caused the progress. Steph said I'd probably take a while to get over it, cos there's always a fascination for someone/something that you can't get. Which totally sucks. Sigh. I hope she's not right, because as excited as I get over things, it hurts cos I'm not gonna get the person. Somebody slap me out of this phase!

We get heartbroken time and again, relationship after another. I'm not one who enters a relationship at some whim, so luckily I don't have a string of relationships to boast about. As much of a softie I am, I think I still feel with my head more than with my heart. And I don't think that's bad, afterall for a relationship to work, you gotta think about where it's going and whether there'll be a future in it. It's tiring searching for the one, because apparently the choices I have made so far have not led me to the right person, I think. And yet, at the back of everyone's mind, there's a yearning to find the one whom you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. And then you wonder, have I already met the person but let him/her slip away?

I hope I'm not getting too emo, I just need to figure out this thing called love.

[tHiS iS tHe LiFe}

I had an extremely relaxing long weekend. I was looking forward to a few days enjoying the sun, sand and sea at Batam. But on Tues the resort we were supposed to go to called up to say that they were shut down because of an emergency. I was quite disappointed and thought it was a sign that we should cancel the trip. But I was glad mum n Flo nudged me to go on, since we already had our ferry tix.

So instead of lots of sand, we stayed at Novotel near the city centre, where we couldn't see any sea view despite the description of the room on the website. It was relaxing indeed, we spent most of the time in our rooms - sleeping, watching tv, and err eating (not forgetting room service!). Flo wasn't up to going for water activities, which was a disappointment cos I really wanted to jet ski ever since going to Pattaya. But we settled for shopping instead and it was very therapeutic. Especially when things were so cheap, sandals for $3, t-shirts for $5, manicure and pedicure for $5 and $6 respectively (tho I think it was really minimal...just a foot soak, some brushing, nail trimming and no varnish finish), and our bombastic KFC meal which only cost $12. We had a very friendly limo driver, Henki, who despite his sputtering English, gave us an entertaining drive around town. He concluded that Flo was a tomboy and I was hitam-manis i.e. black sweet...err...a term to describe someone who is err..dark but pretty. I was quite taken aback at his assesment since I'm not that dark, but then again, he called me cantik (pretty) so I didn't mind haha. When we checked out, our bill came up to 2 million rupiah. Sounds a lot, haha, but actually it was only around $400, including the room charges and the limo service. We were so tired from that afternoon's shopping (and we slept at odd hours the night before) that we slept on the ferry ride home.

I took the day off and here I am blogging. I went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned and to my horror, the dentist said I needed many fillings (I always prided in myself that I only have one filling so far so I guess I broke an unwanted record). I'd better brush my teeth more often now, especially my problematic wisdom teeth which are so far back that I can't even see them. I had more retail therapy as I stopped by a couple of shops on my way back from the dentist. Bought a couple of sandals and a bag from Shop-In...dangerous how it is when things are so cheap u just keep adding them into your shopping cart. I really should spend the rest of the day tidying up my room. Then again, I think I shall get back to my bumming around now...perhaps watch a movie or two. Ah I wish this could last longer, and that I don't have to go to work tmr!

[love changes everything: how you live and how you die]

Ok the musical maniac in me watched another performance yesterday: Andrew Lloyd Webber's Aspects of Love. It was rated NC14 and Sakura was happy they didn't ask for her IC haha. I didn't really know what to expect cos there wasn't much publicity for the show. But the show was fantastic, and by our definition of a good musical, the theme song kept ringing in our heads after the show and first thing this morning lol. Sakura even managed to memorise part of the song after we downloaded it last night itself :P

If you wanna know what it's about, here's a little I snatched from Saki's blog (hey at least I'm referencing your masterpiece!):

The story's about this actress who falls in love with a soldier that's much younger than her, and then the actress falls in love with his uncle and gets married to him. The uncle (george), has an Italian mistress and the actress falls in love with her as well. So they form some kind of (sick, though undeniably practical) threesome. And not long later the actress and her husband has a daughter, Jenny, who eventually falls in love with the soldier(remember him?). Confused yet? I hope you are cos I was when I read the synopsis. But watching the musical itself made it all pretty clear. Their feelings were kind of screwed up cos everyone eventually fell in love with the soldier. But I LOVED IT!

Sakura was pretty thrilled by the kiss, cos she said she had never seen such a passionate kiss on stage before. The kiss between the two women was interesting too...but pretty harmless haha. After that we went for some retail therapy. We managed so snatch some money from dad (since afterall he's also been commenting that some of our clothes look pathetic) so I wasn't too worried about splurging. I got a couple of bras (finally got my front hook ones!!) and a blouse which I didn't even bother trying on (and still haven't). Sakura was pretty satisfied with her loot too...some undies, a bag and a tshirt.

I went down to AWARE today for a (pre) mother's day talk. I was getting quite impatient cos they started abt 20 mins late. It was ok initially but got a bit draggy (3 hrs is way too long for a forum that is not very structured). Nonetheless I got to know more people and who knows, I might volunteer there some time. After the talk I went to the Substation for a monologue. Someone whom I haven't even met asked me to come along (saying that since my profile said I liked theatre) so I was like why not. It was an interesting experience - I've never watched a monologue and it's been ages since I've done my part for the local art scene. I'd have stayed for a coffee after the show but I was having a headache so both of us grabbed a cab back.

After the hectic weekend, I wish I didn't have to go back to work tmr :(

[conversations]

Was just observing some conversations today...such contrasts...

In the computer lab:

"Eh you ever wondered ah, when you shit in the plane where the shit go? Is it drop through the sky..then imagine land on ur head like kena bird dropping..hahaha"

GROSS!

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After lunch small talk with cleaner, everyday:

"Adik, dah makan?" (translated: little sis, have you eaten?)

"Dah..cik dah makan?" (yes...uncle eaten?)

Silence...

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Email from an English lady:

"In any even vaguely sensible world, plans to travel and leisure for today would be postponed in favour of a spot of tidying up, a long-overdue polish of the silver, and maybe a vigorous bout of scrabble. However, the position here is not sensible, it's bureacratic - so leave this city-state we must. Therefore, it is with regret that I withdraw my offer to meet you tonight - DANG."

I'm still trying to figure out what she means...

[DaNcE ThErApY]

I went for a gathering with a women's group on saturday and instead of the usual discussions they hold, it was a dance therapy session. It was pretty cool. I was hesitant to go at first cos I was alone. But I was glad I went, and more glad I went alone. The 'therapy' was quite unusual...requiring us to express ourselves through dance, and I think I would've felt much more self conscious if I had been there with friends. There were 3 friends there who kept giggling to one another instead of dancing. I guess it was something out of the box, but it was interesting. I can dance! Woo. Haha.

After that, the girls were asking around what was our next plan..I said home and they were all like "what? on a saturday night?" haha. I guess I'm not a party on saturday night person. But they managed to convince me to join them for a drink at a bar. There was a brit lady here on vacation and she thought we should support one of the girls (who owns the bar) so we headed down to tg pagar.

The ppl there were pretty friendly, tho I spent most of the time talking with Suz. She had to go home to get some stuff done so I decided to leave early with her (knowing what a big task socialising with the crowd wld be for me lol). Was quite sweet of her to send me home, having already treated me to a drink. For an expat, she knew the roads much better than me...I kept going blank whenever she asked me which way to go...that's why I always arrange meet early when I'm driving...to give me time to get lost first and evetually find a place haha. We reached clementi anyway..and that was the only time I was confident abt giving her directions lol.

I pretty much wasted my Sunday. Then again I was having a terrible headache so I spent most of it sleeping. At least I cooked chicken curry which my sis has been longing for (ever since my dad started cooking now and then, it's always been sambal cos it's easy). I tried cooking lasagne again today but the top was still hard..darn..I have to perfect it before my next potluck...any tips anyone??

[Min första svenska lektion]

My first Swedish lession. It was pretty fun yesterday, meeting fellow Singaporean enthusiasts who wanted to learn the Swedish language. There were 5 of us; one wanted to learn Swedish cos she was married to a Swedish (well actually she was planning ahead..to teach her now 7 mth old son Swedish in case he decides to study there next time) and the rest of us had been on exchange to Sweden at one point or another.

Our teacher's accent was kinda strange..I think she was trying hard to speak sg style...but it would've been nicer to hear the "swinglish" accent again. I was pretty enthusiastic about answering questions initially, esp since it was a small group and since no one else was answering (as opposed to my otherwise "keep mum in class" attitude). But I think Cecilia must've thought my Swedish was good cos she went like "Ok this question is not for Saf" lol. But as we went on to the grammer part I started to shut up, cos I either didn't learn grammer last time or I totally forgot it :P. She asked if we had learnt foreign languages before and she almost spoke to me in French when I said I had...so I quickly protested...no no it was a longggg time ago so I don't remember anything now. Haha.

After class, georgina, wendy n me shared a cab home (Jag delar taxi/I sharing taxi) cos we lived in the west. I think georgina loves taxis cos she suggested picking me up from NUS next week before class. Anyway it'll be more convenient than rushing to class after work to a not very accessible place (some condo along Grange Road) and we get to split the bill. I should revise my grammer before I go to class next week so that she will ask me to shut up again. Now I wish I had the Swedish keyboard...

[life is unpredictable]

As cliche as that might sound, the reality of it is undeniable. Just yesterday afternoon my dad received a call from my distraught uncle. His second business, which he undertook against the advice of my dad, was failing and that made him incur some debts. So much so till my aunt had to take some loans to keep them going, and that made her very stressed. And he was taking sleeping pills, popping one after another the previous night so that he could get some decent sleep but to no success and apparently yesterday morning he lashed out at my cousin. As if that wasn't bad enough, at 6am this morning, my mum got a call from my auntie saying that my uncle had been in a car accident last night ard 4am and had been in a coma.

We just came back from ttsh to visit him. He was pretty disorientated...he took a minute to recognise us and he said he didn't even remember driving the car out last night. He had some stitches on his head but thankfully no internal injuries tho his whole torso was sore. For someone in pain he was pretty stubborn tho, insisting that the nurses let him bathe or feed him solid food or demanding to meet the doctor so that he cld be discharged. And he kept saying that we "educated" ppl were all against him..arghh..I really hate it when he says that..semi-conscious or otherwise.

Anyway we took the chance to hang out wiht my auntie n cousin a bit at kopitiam. I really feel for her cos now there's this extra shit to take care of. Shit happens in life. That's an understatement...

[back to gym]

I wanted to title this entry as back to mundane life..but decided not to be so negative. So yeah..I'm back to gym. I guess I should've blogged about getting back to work last week, but I haven't been inspired lately. The most exciting thing that has happened so far is that I finally got my own workstation in office. Yay! It still looks uninhabited...cos there's no PC and other than the pencil holder and notepad I brought from home, it's empty. But I'm happy. Finally I have my own space, do my own thing...ok ok actually I only stare at my laptop the whole day...and take a nap when I'm super sleepy but sshhhh..dun tell boss haha.

And yeah. I went back to gym too. Funny that I actually missed gym while I was in Sthlm...cos me n exercise rarely get along. Had a pretty fun time in gym yesterday tho, went there with GH. I got over enthusiastic tho, now my knee hurts again and my muscles are aching. Moral of the story: don't jump onto frozen lakes (that's how I twisted my knee..sigh..)

We caught WEsT SIdE SToRy last weekend. Was a fun outing. Especially when we saw Far dress up like a girl..finally..tsk tsk (I hope she doesnt strangle me for saying this :P). Way to go girl! Now u just need to add a dash of pink! The musical was average. The dancing was quite gay and there were too many dances, with cheesy songs (the heroine kept going "I'm pretty, I'm pretty.."). And the ending was kinda abrupt. Ok, it wasn't THAT bad but I've seen better (Peter Pan..woohoo!) Or maybe I'm still in awe of watching Phantom at West End. Sakura n I were discussing, that if by the next morning, there were still no songs ringing in our head..then it wasn't a good musical. Sadly nothing rang...and she cld only remember the "america, america" part of one song. Lol. Wondering whether I should catch Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Aspects of Love". Haven't heard of it and some ppl haven't either so I can't find anyone to go with. Hmm. Maybe I should watch it alone...since I'm a fan now ;)

[I'm back!]

Ok I should've written this post on Monday but I've been busy updating my blog about my adventures..which I hope I've arranged correctly..chronologically. So what shall I write. Was thinking abt doing a reflection of my trip. And since I have to do a more formal one at work next week, I shall write my more personal views here.

I guess the biggest difference this time was that I went there not worrying too much abt a limited budget. And that my lodging and plane ticket were taken care of. But I suppose that means that since I'm free from guilt abt owing my dad lots of money, I have to show gratitude to my big boss. Not that I'm not, but hmmm...I guess I have to prove myself more now.

Of course the biggest bonus I got was getting to meet my friends again. How often do you go to a land 20 hrs away, bid ur friends farewell, hoping u'll meet again somewhere in the distant future and then having that hope turning true. Ok I sound a bit sentimental here, but it was fantastic meeting them again. In fact it was a pity I went during peak period in sch where everyone was busy with exams and projects, or we'd have got to spend more time tog.

I definitely shopped more this time, with my new found spending power. Heh. Ok I'm not that loaded, but dad gave me a bit of money as well, and with my debit card, spending was therapeutic (after the long grueling hours in class). And my shopaholics of friends...who always said yes whenever I asked them should I buy something. Haha. (good to blame someone eh?)

The ironic part of it all is that within 6 wks I feel I've changed a lot, with the changing env and all. And I come back to s'pore and everything is the same. And I mean everything, or at least the things that matter most to me. And that includes the messy room I left behind, my warring parents who are barely talking to each other, and the humid weather that's making my face leak with oil again. Perhaps that's h.o.m.e. Something that remains constant in ur life, no matter how the outside world changes around u. Ok I'm getting a bit philosophical here, but then again, spending time with urself, with the numerous dialogues in ur head, u tend to think philosophy.

I miss Sweden as much as I did last time. Even tho I spent one-third the time there now, even tho I didn't have as much time to party as before. It could be the lovely city, the friends I have there, the friends I made, the eye-candy that I may never see again, but it could also be the independence I enjoyed despite having to worry abt the next meal, or whether I'd freeze my nose off at the bus stop. And I'm more eager than ever to return there - this time more permanently, Inshallah. Was suggesting to sakura that I'll go to sweden, she can do her degree in uk, then we can meet in iceland. Come to think of it, I think Denmark would be a more central location. My father has probably realised he can't stop me from achieving my dreams anymore. He's learning to loosen the grip on my leash, but he's still gripping on to sakura's tightly. We'll plan. And we'll see how things go. Sounds like a good dream eh?

[London]

I don't really know what's the best way to present this, so I shall put it all as one post. If u feel bored, pls get back to it another day. London was fun!

Day 0 - Rude shock

I arrive at the hostel today and get the shock of my life. It looks terribly run down, steep stairs and no lifts. The booking system fucked up so instead of Mon-Fri, I am booked for Sun-Thur, which means I have to pay for a day for which I wasn't even here, and I have to look for another place for Friday (they're fully booked...according to the not so friendly receptionist). There was no way I could carry my bag up the stairs so I asked him if he could help. And for that he made me wait a full 10 minutes, while he was joking around with his buddy. There's about 12 beds in my room, luckily not all occupied. And I got the bottom bunk, phew. The strange Chinese guy above me is asleep at 9, and he asked if I could off the lights on my way out. Hmmm. We don't have any lockers so I hope everyone's honest. There's only one shower per floor (which has at least 20 ppl), so I guess I have to queue tmr morning for a bath. I go down to the kitchen to use the internet but the connection sucks so I only managed a few minutes. I hate this place. Reb hasn't answered my sms, I miss Stockholm, I'm thinking about my eye-candy. I feel miserable. I don't have stomach for dinner. Suddenly there's internet connection in my room. I chat with Steph for awhile and as always, she makes me smile again. I go to bed. Hoping tmr will be better. After this place, Jagargatan was luxury. Remind me never to book a backpacker's hostel ever again.

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Day 1 - Strikes and Tower of London

There are some strikes going on in London and because of that, some attractions are not open. WTF. First, HMS Belfast is closed. Then Tower Bridge is also closed. There's a bunch of people standing outside the admissions, campaigning for pensions to be paid out in full. Damn, get out of the way, I just wanna see the sights. I ask a fellow tourist to take a pic for me. He runs away after snapping it, and I realize he didn't even take a shot. Bleah. There are extremely strong winds. I'm walking along the bridge and it's a breeze to walk (sorry for the pun) cos the wind is pushing me from behind. I walk to Tower of London, not knowing what's in store for me. There's lots of people, and it looks open, so I buy a student ticket (luckily they believed my KI library card...) and am in time for the guided tour. Our guide Ray is very witty, telling us tales of who got beheaded where. It seems that beheading was a very common practice...and they called themselves a civilized nation. Hmmph! The interior of the Tower of London was beautiful. My exact idea of a castle, equipped with drawbridges and all. He showed us around the Whitehall, chapel and the places where the tour guides live even today. A bit of trivia: the beefeaters are named so b'cos long long time ago, while the commoners were eating bean sprouts and potatoes, the soldiers and royal guards were having a good time eating beef inside the castle. "Damn those bloody beefeaters", said the commoners, and there the name stuck. After the tour, we went on to see a couple of museums ourselves...like the Crown Jewels and the Bloody tower (where two young princes were murdered). My lunch was a couple of digestives...surprisingly I wasn't that hungry.

Finally left since I got bored of the museums. Walked along Thames, almost getting blown away by the strong winds again. The atmosphere was nice though. Took a train from The Monument (they definitely won't get awards for exciting names) to Piccadilly Circus to get my half-price tix for Phantom of the Opera. It wasn't exactly half, maybe three-quarter, but I got a pretty good deal...front row circle seats for category 3 price. Yay. It was an impromptu decision to watch the matinee but since I hadn't planned to do anything else, why not. Went to Mac's for lunch (decided to indulge a bit) and the McChicken was a disappointment. The banana milkshake was yummy though. Rushed back to Her Majesty's Theatre to catch the show. It was kinda small, but hey, a musical in West End, what more could I ask for! The show was naturally astounding. I got to see it again at last. The leads were awesome. Sing! Sing for me! I wished they'd done the main song as an encore. Now I'm in the mood for more musicals, perhaps tmr I should catch Mamma Mia or Whistle Down the Wind (only cos they have BZ's song :P and it will probably never make it to S'pore). Shall scout for more half-price tickets...but then again, if I get a good seat for three-qaurter of the price, it would be a good deal as well. Musicals musicals here I come!

Walked around Piccadilly after that. Headed to Soho to check out the pubs and discos. Interesting night life. Chinatown was a bit dead...same as last time. There were many bookshops which had sex shops downstairs. I would've gone down, but ppl were looking at me even as I wondered into the 'naked ladies' book section. Oh well. I went to a *ahem* bar after that. Was wondering whether I should go in since I was alone but the person at the door assured me it was fine. Fine yeah, but boring. (Oh btw for those of u who are shocked, here's a newsflash...I'm not that tame...haha. And anyway this is the first time I've ventured into a bar alone...wonder what got into me...I guess I didn't dare to go to one in Sweden so I was like...ok it's now or never...). Bought a coke and sat in one corner, staring at a couple of girls who were making out...heh. Was hoping to get chatted up lol but too bad that never happened. Instead I got really bored so I left after I finished reading some mag. The person at the front was pretty nice. I wasn't really sure abt the gender...she looked pretty manly...but with a touch of woman-ness...So anyway, he/she asked if I enjoyed myself. I said it was boring cos I was alone. And she asked if I made any friends. Haha. She was hoping I'd come back and have a better time. Perhaps I will, when I'm meeting Reb on Thur or Fri. She told me it was her fave bar..so yeah... I got home quite late and surfed on the net for awhile at the bar. The ppl there were like wondering why's this girl in here with her laptop. Haha. But since the kitchen was pretty crowded, I thought the bar would be better, but it was noisier (well I didn't know there would be ppl in the bar on a Tues night). Steph was online and as usual, she worked her miracle and made me feel better (I was missing my eye-candy...and err..Sthlm...). We chatted for some time till the guys were getting too drunk for my comfort. Then I went back up to my miserable room to dream about u know who.

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Day 2 - Beefeaters, Daffodils, Harrods and more

Things are heating up. Had a really tiring day today but it was worth the fun. Set out a little bit later today...wanted to leave at 9.30 but my laptop distracted me (tsk tsk) so I left around 10.30. Headed to Buckingham Palace to see the queen but she wasn't in. Instead, we got treated to the military band and the change of guards ceremony. I think the Swedish army has nicer uniforms (blue vs gray...too bad they didn't have their red summer uniforms on). It was pretty chaotic..there were loads of people there (tourists never seem to get tired of the place...I didn't wanna go either since I'd already been there...but who knows...Prince William cld've been there haha).

Walked around St James' Park after the ceremony. It was LOVELY. L.O.V.E.L.Y! Stark contrast from the snowy parks in Stockholm. The flowers were blooming and the birds were chirping. The perfect atmosphere for a picnic in the park, so I took out my tuna sandwich and had my lunch facing the pond. My camera was behaving itself throughout the change of guards ceremony but it started to go wanky. So I took out my disposable camera and snapped some photos.

Went to Westminster Abbey after that. Finally. I can't believe I left it out the last time. I thought it was just a look-see-take pictures monument. The interior of the cathedral was simply magnificent. Every corner, every ceiling, was so lavishly carved and decorated. There were too many tombs for my liking (I don't really care who died when and wasn't comfortable with the thought of walking above graves) so I looked at the architecture instead. If you go to London, you basically CANNOT skip this. I've seen lots of churches and cathedrals now tho...hope I can enter into a lavish looking mosque in Turkey or Egypt some day..soon.

Went on to see the Big Ben after that. It was another thing I just "saw" the last time I came. Too bad the tower was out-of-bounds cos it was still considered winter but there was a debate going on in the House of Parliaments so albeit the 40 min queue I decided to attend the session. Apparently I wasn't the only one interested cos the queue had at least 60 tourists in it. All that hoo-haa over nothing much really. The guard was right...sometimes the topic is so boring that you just need two minutes of it. Who needs to hear British MPs blabbering about immigration rights anyway. So after checking out the interior (which was very grand btw) and sitting for about 5 minutes (after queuing for 30 mins outside!) a number of us left. Didn't regret it tho. At least I got to see parliament in session.

Was wondering where to go next. I think I'm not that organized this time round b'cos I didn't have my trusted Lonely Planet travel guide (I'm not advertising for them but their books are pretty good since they have walking trails around particular areas). Here or there? Here or there? In the end I decided to try taking a red London bus to Trafalgar Square to see the pigeons (I've been traveling by the tube all this while. And I wanted to see the pigeons cos last time there were hardly any :P). Must've been my luck cos there were plenty of them today. Too bad my digicam was ku-ku so I didn't take many pics..just a couple with my disposable cam. It was almost a sin being there and not going into the National Gallery so since the observatory was about to close (I think I have a thing for observatories now...and since London is where the Greenwich Time is...) I decided to take a quick (not) look around. It was fun checking out the paintings of Da Vinci after reading the Da Vinci Code. Paid a little more attention to his paintings this time (tho I don't remember any of the conspiracies that were mentioned in the book haha). I was getting bored (museums ain't my thing...) so I skipped over to the more recent artists like van Gogh and Monet...my favourite artists (or at least I have SOME affection for them after our Sec 2 art project...). Kew Gardens was about to close too so I decided to head to Harrods instead for some (window) shopping. The place was very luxurious...all sorts of brand names, all sorts of things. They had hair clips which cost $50 to handkerchiefs which cost $150. Guess what I bought? A Harrods chocolate croissant. Haha. Well, it was only 1 pound so I was like yeah why not... branded pastry lol. I was looking through Harrods world wondering what to get (I fell in love with a couple of bags...as usual...) but it was closing time (it was only 7pm!). I hope I get to drop by again...to get my bag *winks*

Took another bus (I'm getting better at buses...) to Oxford St to check out Selfridges. The prices there were crazy..I guess that's what you get for high end shopping in London. The cheaper things (so called un-branded) cost 230 pounds so I decided to leave...since it was about to close anyway. Walked walked walked...Debenhams didn't look that interesting...and since Bond St tube was nearby I decided to go back.

I'm looking forward to tmr. Going to Stonehenge after a lot of scouting around for tours. It costs 10 pounds more than what I had planned for (cheap ones for backpackers) so I hope it's as 'luxurious' as the brochure described it to be. Right now, I'm getting pretty freaked out cos the irritating fellow is purposely picking on a fellow hostelite, and 'Dave' is smoking his joint. And Mr I-like-to-strip-into-my-underpants-to-sleep has just stripped so I think I should close my eyes and go to sleep. Remind me to tell u abt my adventure in this hostel.

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Day 3 - Was worth every penny

Started off a little late today. The tube is so screwed up that there's always jams here and there. I was 10 mins late for the coach and it didn't help that I didn't know where the Victoria Coach Station was. As I stepped onto the bus, I realized that everyone else was already there. Thankfully they were sorting out other matters so I wasn't the (sole) culprit for making them wait. I suppose they wanted us to come by 8.10 so that they could sort things out and leave by 8.30.

Our itinerary included Windsor Castle, Stonehenge and Bath. Actually I thought I'd only be interested in Stonehenge. But I think among the three, Windsor castle was the most beautiful. We got a touch of the English countryside, then walked around the castle, which the queen still lives in today. It's mighty big and the architecture was such a marvel, though the Brits weren't too happy with the cost of building it. Definitely quenched my thirst for wanting to see a "typical" looking castle. In fact, the king who built it wanted it to mimic medieval time castles he saw in a children's book, so yeah, I got what I wanted (the castles in Sthlm have their own Scandinavian touch...not the type we usually see). We also got to see Eton College (too bad Prince William is not there anymore :P) and the change of guards ceremony which takes place only on Thurday. Lucky eh? But then again, I think I've watched tons of such ceremonies...so I don't think I'll be missing them anytime soon. I walked into a shop which let u dress in Victorian costumes and take a photo. It was relatively cheap and very tempting, but I didn't want to risk running late (the tour guide was warning us how he wouldn'tt wait for latecomers) so sadly I had to skip that. I hope I bump into a similar shop in London!

Our second stop was Stonehenge. Yay! The monument was fantastic...such grandiose considering the fact that it was built out of sheer human strength, in times where there were no machines and hammers were wooden. The scenery in the background was another jaw dropper...fields and fields of grass, sheep nibbling on grass and the sky was such a beauty. I could've just sat there the whole day and soak in the atmosphere but unfortunately we only had an hour to spend there. And to my horror, the bus was waiting for me cos I had taken a long time at the souvenir shop. Tsk tsk. Luckily I don't blush easily or the whole bus would've seen me go crimson red.

We stopped by a cosy old pub for lunch. It's the second oldest in England, and they have documents to prove it. I had roast beef with new potatoes (any idea why they call it new potatoes??) and it was yum yum. The setting reminded my of a BZ video where they were sitting in a pub gulping down beer. Guess I don't need to go to Ireland now haha. I would've had dessert but lunch was already costing a bomb (11 pounds) so I stepped out early to admire the view. Lovely. I got a couple of "love's"...oh I just love the way them Brits talk. ("The toilet's just behind the courtyard love". And earlier on "The nearest tube is Green Park darling"). Ah I could just swoon lol.

Our final destination was Bath. I realized that my history totally sucks cos I didn't even know the Romans were in England at one point in time. We had one hour of free time which I totally wasted cos I didn't get to see much. I wanted to go to MicroWorld...where everything's so small u have to see things through a microscope. But I got lost and ended up in the bus station and by the time I decided to go to the Jane Austen Centre instead, it was almost time for us to assemble at the Roman Baths. So I bought a cone from Ben & Jerry's, sat on a bench and admired the town centre till 5.20. We not only had a personal guide inside, we also had a private tour of places usually restricted to the public. The place closed to public by 5 so we basically had the place to ourselves and that was really cool. I was more impressed by the town than the baths but it was informative anyway. The water was quite green and murky...but it was nice imagining what it would've been like thousands of years ago. It got a bit cold and since the water was abt 80 deg, there was steam above it, creating a pretty mysterious atmosphere. The idea of a spa, complete with exercise, sauna, massage were already existent at that time. But wait till I tell you the details, you'll be grossed out at certain parts!

That marked the end of our amazing journey through the countryside. It was a 2.5 hr journey back to London. The moment I reached the hostel, I packed my bags (like IMMEDIATELY) cos I was so eager to get out of that yucky place. I was lugging my heavy luggage and almost reached the first floor when a girl graciously offered to help. Thanks darling! Hehe. I took a cab down (yeah you can imagine how eager I was to move out) to Mowbray Court Hotel. The cab driver was very friendly. He asked me if I was crazy traveling to London alone all the way from sg but I told him it was just a stopover from Sweden. I was asking him abt more places to go and he seemed to think that I've already done it all (at least in London) so I felt pretty accomplished. Every other thing he mentioned thereon, I had already been to. So yeah...like he said, I think I don't have to return here for another decade or so. It was the most expensive taxi ride I've taken...18 pounds...but well worth it when I realized my room was a luxury compared to the hostel. They almost didn't wanna book me in cos I didn't have a hardcopy of my e-voucher but they gave in somehow. Now my room's in a mess cos the whole place is mine to litter!! And no one's gonna come in and snoop around. And I have my own toilet. Woohoo! So to take advantage of my new found privacy, I was walking around in my room rather scantily but I'll spare you the details.

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Day 4 - The reunion

I was half expecting Hiba not to turn up today, since it was already 10 and she hadn't sms-ed me yet. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's to not count on others and be independent. So I thought I'd go to Kew Gardens instead. But halfway there, she sent me a msg so I got onto another train to meet her at Shepherd's Bush. It was a sweet feeling, meeting her after 2 years. The same surreal feeling I had when I met Elin again, cos I never thought I'd be able to meet my friends again, especially so soon after I left Sweden the last time. We hugged for almost a minute then decided to go to the open market down the street. It wasn't very impressive - most of the merchants were Indians and I have something against buying things made in India or China in Europe (since I know how cheap you can get them in India and how they rip you off in here) so we didn't buy anything. We walked and walked and walked...Hiba wanted to go to a Lebanese restaurant which had authentic halal meat. In the end, we had walked for like 20 mins and decided to settle for one along Edgware Road. The food was yummy...I love Lebanese food! (the first time I fell in love with it was at the restaurant at the Stockholm mosque, *drools* even my family loved the food there) I had a funny feeling that the name of the road sounded familiar, and ironically enough, after lunch, I saw the Malaysian restaurant that sis Mariam brought me to last time I was here. Damn. Would've been nice to intro Hiba to some local food. If we meet tmr, we'll go there for lunch hehe.

We didn't really have any plans. I wanted to go to Kew Gardens but it was in a different zone as the one our travelcard permits so Hiba wasn't too keen on it (the problem when u're traveling with someone...unless u have a more accommodating partner like GH heh) so we went to Harrods. I indulged in a Harrods bag and got a souvenir for GH. Was feeling guilty buying it but it wasn't THAT expensive...considering it's Harrods...and anyway, how often do I go there? :P We walked through the different sections and kept wondering which stupid people would wanna spend hundreds of pounds on things which you can get at half price in a regular shopping centre. Oh well. Those who have too much money to waste.

We went to Baker St which I mixed up with Goodge St for having cheap shopping so we dropped by Sherlock Holmes museum instead. We looked through the souvenir shop (since we're bored of museums and didn't wanna waste 6 pounds on something we didn't really wanna see) then we just took a pic with the guard outside...he was cute...and we could pose in a hat and cigar haha. We went to Leicester Square to get tix to Mamma Mia but they were fully booked (needed to book 4 months in advance for weekends tix since it's a pretty new show... didn't realize that or I wouldn't have minded watching a second musical on Tues). Settled for Whistle down the Wind. Too bad Hiba couldn't join me cos she had to catch her train home early. We headed down to Oxford St then to do more shopping (I've become a dangerous shopper now that I have some spending power and my card as my weapon). Debenhams had lots of cute makeup sets which I didn't really need. But it was cheap and I really wanted the set with the mascara so I bought one anyway. Now I know why sis Mariam's friend (oops what's her name..) bought 3 boxes for her friends last time. We were pretty tired walking and walking but we went around a few other shops...must sees like Selfridges and Marks & Spencer for the sake of it.

I had a mad dash to Palace Theatre. I should've taken the tube instead of the bus b'cos I forgot there'd be a peak hour jam. And when I finally reached the stop, I didn't know where exactly the theatre was, and neither did the few people I asked. In the end I asked a rickshaw driver who knew the direction. He asked whether I wanted a ride there and since I was pretty flustered and didn't wanna risk getting locked out of the show in case I was late, I decided 3 pounds wasn't a big price to pay. I wished he could've gone faster tho, like the skilled drivers in India who can weave in and out of traffic like nothing, but I managed to get there on the dot. And I mean 7.30 sharp. Luckily they were only just calling ppl to take their seats so I managed to catch a breath before getting in.

Needless to say, the show was fantastic. I had no idea what it was about...I only knew abt it cos it had No Matter What in it and anything to do with BZ I know haha. The storyline was pretty touching. And the parts with No Matter What made me smile. I'm amazed hearing BZ songs can still make me excited. Once a fan always a fan eh? Which reminds me of something…apparently Take That are planning a reunion (I think) cos I saw several places selling tix for their concert in May 2006. I wonder if they'll do a world tour tho. Would be nice to see them in action again. I wanted to buy the show's soundtrack but I realized the version of No Matter What they had was BZ's version...they didn't have the stage version so I passed. I was pretty tired with the day's walking so here I am now, chilling out on my last day in London. I'll miss ya darling. ;)

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Day 5 - Toodles London

I was pretty disappointed last night cos Reb didn't reply my msg about meeting up. And since I didn't get any msgs this morning, I assume I'll be going home without meeting her. Sad. I missed my chance to go to Kew Gardens again cos Hiba wanted to meet. How could I say no. We walked along river Thames towards Tower Bridge. We got distracted by London Dungeon so we stopped there first instead. It was supposed to be a house of horror but it turned out to be more of a joke house. First of all, since the British love their language so much, they were telling us supposedly gory tales instead of scaring us. By the time they got to the gory bit, I already got bored...and I felt like going...ok get to the point already. Room after room...the only scary part was the corpse that jumped up from the autopsy table. There was a sign that said "pls alert staff if you are feeling faint or unwell". I felt like askign them to evacuate me cos I was getting bored. I think they need to learn a thing or two from Sthlm's ghost house or Bkk's Ripley's haunted house.

We walked to Tower Bridge after that and snapped some photos cos I wanted to finish up my disposable cams. Then we went to Edgware Rd for Malysian cuisine. The guy kinda pissed me off cos I was ordering food in Malay but he kept replying in English. And yet on my way out I heard him joking with his friends in Malay. Stayed too long in London to speak Malay? Show off! We did more shopping after that. Hiba wanted to buy more stuff for her family since she was going back to Sthlm for easter. I was quite bored cos I was pretty much done with shopping, and the shops didn't really interest me (middle eastern goods). A lot of walking again, then we went into the very famous shops which sold branded stuff at cheap prices. I gave in to temptation and bought a T-shirt for myself and Sakura. I went back to my hotel to get my bag then headed to Heathrow. Had to take a shuttle bus cos the terminal 4 tube station was closed. Luckily there were free porters there who helped me carry my luggage up the 33 steps.

There was another drama at the airport. There were so many queues open for British Airways but the area was totally jam-packed. Then as we were getting near the front, the officer asked us who was going to sg. They told us that the flight was over-booked so we had to wait to see if there were anymore seats for us. Crap. At that point in time, I just wanted to go home. But the idea of being driven in a limo to put up in a hotel for the night was tempting, and YK and I were like...hey then we get to claim insurance for flight delay haha. But nothing that exciting happened. Not even the coffee they said they were gonna get us. About 20 mins before our scheduled flight, they managed to find us seats so we checked in the express lane (they didn't even care that YK's bag was too heavy). And when I finally got onto the plane I was like...great...I'm going home. Enough adventures for now. :)

[The sky]

What you mean to me
You'll never know
I want to say
But I cannot show

You came into my life
And disappeared in a flash
After this journey
You'll be my secret stash

To see your deep blue eyes again
I hope one day our paths will cross
To tatter in deep conversation
In this land of frost

[Think before you talk --- Goodbye Stockholm]

I'm really really pissed with YK right now. So pissed that if I wanted to be childish I should stop talking to her. I trusted her with something really personal about my eye-candy and told her not to tell a single soul about it. Then we went for dinner. And within minutes she's like "hey saf i told XL abt it" I was like WTF!! I very clearly told her not to tell anyone, and yet 10 minutes later she says "oops I forgot...I just blurted it out". Goodness. And now XL wants to tell Jon, and who knows where else the story might travel to. I was telling XL not to tell Jon, but she was like...well I don't think the person will mind (ok at least they don't know that the person is my eye-candy). I guess when YK says she usually talks before she thinks, she really means it. I really needed to tell someone about it and I thought since she was so open-minded, she could handle the truth. Handle yeah she did, but her big mouth made it leak within minutes. She didn't even apologise! I'm feeling so guilty now. I should've just kept it to myself. Not that my eye-candy told me to keep mum, but I just don't think it's a topic u'd want many ppl to know abt. At least GH kept really quiet abt something else I told her. Steph suggested I strike her off my friends list (since she also pissed me off previously by telling me at the last moment that I'll have to go to London alone since she's going around with her friend ALONE). So my response was, well, she was always in my colleagues list, not friends. o as for now, I think she'll remain there for some time. I just hope the story doesn't get passed on to everyone. And even worse if it gets back to my eye-candy, tho pretty unlikely. Damn, I shouldn't be so trusting next time!

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Ok well, on to more cheerful things (well kinda..). Met Elin this afternoon in town. We shopped a bit at Drottningatan then went to Rosendal park for a fika (so called coffee and dessert session). Was great meeting her again before flying off. We were saying how now since we've had our first reunion, it doesn't seem that keeping in touch or meeting again in future is such an abstract idea anymore. I'm not letting her off..she still has to come to sg and she said she's not letting herself off too. Heh. Come to think of it, I don't think I blogged about going to the countryside to her place again last weekend. It was like a surreal feeling...big big huggies when we met at the train station. Then as we went up my fave hill that overlooked the frozen lake, I was like... wow I'm back here again! Wonderful feeling. I had actually planned to bring everyone along but as I probably mentioned before, my group is extremely undecisive - one min they wanted to come along, one minute they wanna go to town. Their loss. GH enjoyed it tremendously. The fields and fields of snow and the hairy cows (we dunno what they're called). And just like before, we had a little picnic at the top of the hill and took lots of pics (none of which I have since my friggin' cam decided to have a mood swing). The wind was so strong, the rustling through the trees sounded as if we were sitting at the beach at high tide. At one point in time it was quite hard to walk cos the wind was blowing against us. We went down onto the lake, there was so much snow that we couldn't really see the ice. There was some what of a snowstorm (picture a dessert sandstorm except it's snow..) and Elin made us a snowangel on the ground. It started snowing snowballs on our way back. Really interesting. Instead of snowflakes, what came down looked like what u'd get if u crunched up a styrofoam box. It looked really really cute. So we've seen 3 types of snow now...snowflakes, ice (painful when it hits ur face btw) and snowballs. And I thought snow was just snow.

After fika, I went to Kista to meet Ayisha. I felt pretty bad cos I was almost an hour late (till she decided to have lunch first without me haha). We talked, did some shopping, I bought my box to send home my notes in. We didn't hang around long cos she wanted to hurry home to pray so yeah...we did our huggy thing, I took a pic with Leyla (who is 3 now and can talk..heh). Ayisha said we'd meet again, perhaps when she comes to sg in future, Inshallah. That'd be really cool. And she said I prob won't return to sweden since I've already been there twice and I was like..well u never know ;) I wasn't teary but of course I was a bit sad. Nice to know though that at least I got to meet my friends again. Sthlm, I'll miss you.

[Uppsala lalalalala]

Ok believe it or not, that's Uppsala university's cheer. It's the oldest uni in Scandinavia, Sweden's first. I went to Uppsala town on my last weekend in Sweden. Been wanting to go forever and since it didn't look as if Iso was gonna bring us, I decided to go myself (GH already left for sg). It was a really beautiful town. I thought that it'd probably look like Sthlm but it's interesting how different cities in the same country can look so different. I was also thinking how things work out perfectly (God loves me haha)...cos I've been wanting to go there for so long...and yet on the day I went, there were special events going on so it was like a bonus. The entrance to the museum was free cos they had a new exhibit and there was an ice motorbike racing at the stadium so the trip there was definitely worthwhile. Was looking out for eye-candy #2 cos he lives there..but too bad didn't find him haha. I thought I'd only take half a day there but in the end, I left the place at only 6 pm. I guess I could return to Sweden 10 more times and still find a unique new city to visit each time. Fabulous.

On the way home, I dropped by my fave coffee place again to have chicken pie for dinner. I went back to my hostel and intended to attend a musical performance nearby, but knowing me, once I have taken off my coat and boots, I'm too lazy to go out again :P So I resorted to packing my bag, which surprisingly was pretty light. Guess I'm turning into a better traveller ;)

Will be meeting Ayisha and Elin tmr to bid a fond farewell. Hope I don't get teary.

[Friendship]

Having lots of time alone, and not having the internet as a distraction, gives u time to think about things that you would otherwise never really ponder about. I was on the way home today when I started thinking about friendship. Friendship is intricate, and a blessing. I just came back from meeting Jurgita and Abela today. My fellow GAME friends. It was just a few months ago when we met up in sg for our first coursework. And now that we're in Sweden, these two wonderful women are showing us warm hospitality. We were having some sinful indulgence after school (dessert and smoothie at a nearby cafe) and although I haven't talked to Abela for months (she's not in GAME anymore) we were talking about everything under the sun. And I mean everything - even things that were going on under the bed sheets...haha. And Jurgita, well, what can I say.. she's been looking after us since the day we came, with bed sheets, comforters, extra pillows and all. She was the only one among our Swedish colleagues that organized a little dinner gathering among our group.

I started to think about how when I first met GH, I thought that she was so quiet, why wasn't she talking to me, did we have nothing in common to talk about. And now that we're here seeing places together, cooking meals for each other, just hanging out at each other's rooms when we're devoid of other forms of entertainment at night...we're so close...it's just...intriguing. She even wishes I could go to Ohio with her for a summer course in epi so that we can travel around tog...dang...too bad boss ain't sending me! Then I thought about AL, our dept secretary, whom I thought I was gonna meet only when I needed help with admin stuff. Now, we're having lunch together almost everyday, back in NUS that is.

And then I was thinking how one of my friends cheered me up in an instant when I told her I was feeling down. The best part is that I only got to know her online after coming here, and in a matter of a couple of weeks, she bothers to call me up in my hostel late at night to perk me up. I don't usually do well in phone conversations, but the instant I picked up the phone, I was like... wow this girl is cool. I was smiling in no time. She could guess exactly how I was feeling and like with Abela, we talked about almost everything under sun. And all this within just two weeks of knowing her. Two weeks of msn. Two weeks of just "hi how are you, I'm from sg, etc". I was really touched that she did that for me. Sweet girl. Too bad she lives in another town in Sweden, or I would definitely go meet her. She's coming to sg tho, this summer, so I'm looking forward to meeting her. She said she'd treat me to coffee (since I'm not gonna tarnish her reputation of telling ppl she's err...ok I'm not supposed to say...lol) and I was like...man, I'm the one who owes her two coffees. So for now, our date is at coffee bean, coffee and cheesecake in June ;).

[speak up!]

I need to learn how to talk to guys. I can count the number of guys I know on my fingers. And how many I would consider close friends...really few. I seem to numb up everytime I'm with a guy. Either that or I just don't know what to talk about. Even GH was commenting on how Jon n I never seem to talk much. We were sitting in comp lab tog and both of us were chatting with her on msn, apparently asking the same qs when we could've related the same messages to each other. I guess the internet ain't really good practice cos I can always hide myself behind the screen.

During tea break today when Erik came near where I was sitting, I was like…damn I think he wants to talk to me. So instead of being friendly and saying hi, I hovered over my hot cocoa and dipped my oatmeal cookie in it as if that was all that mattered in the world. He finally sat next to me and started talking. He's cute. Haha. So I hope I didn't make a fool of myself. If holding a decent conversation with guys is my weakness, doing so with a cute one around is usually disastrous. Anyway, Erik was pretty interested in Sg and who we were and what we were doing there, etc. And when I was telling him about the different races in sg, he asked me what about me…I felt like going…I'm human :P. After break, the rest at our table, friends being friends, teased me cos although they were also at the table, Erik seemed to be only talking to me. Anyway, too bad he already has a ring on his finger haha. He shall be my new eye candy lol...I gave up on my previous one after finding out my eye candy has a gf and the emails are getting less frequent. For now, I shall work on my talking-with-guys skills.