Friday, April 07, 2006

[I'm back!]

Ok I should've written this post on Monday but I've been busy updating my blog about my adventures..which I hope I've arranged correctly..chronologically. So what shall I write. Was thinking abt doing a reflection of my trip. And since I have to do a more formal one at work next week, I shall write my more personal views here.

I guess the biggest difference this time was that I went there not worrying too much abt a limited budget. And that my lodging and plane ticket were taken care of. But I suppose that means that since I'm free from guilt abt owing my dad lots of money, I have to show gratitude to my big boss. Not that I'm not, but hmmm...I guess I have to prove myself more now.

Of course the biggest bonus I got was getting to meet my friends again. How often do you go to a land 20 hrs away, bid ur friends farewell, hoping u'll meet again somewhere in the distant future and then having that hope turning true. Ok I sound a bit sentimental here, but it was fantastic meeting them again. In fact it was a pity I went during peak period in sch where everyone was busy with exams and projects, or we'd have got to spend more time tog.

I definitely shopped more this time, with my new found spending power. Heh. Ok I'm not that loaded, but dad gave me a bit of money as well, and with my debit card, spending was therapeutic (after the long grueling hours in class). And my shopaholics of friends...who always said yes whenever I asked them should I buy something. Haha. (good to blame someone eh?)

The ironic part of it all is that within 6 wks I feel I've changed a lot, with the changing env and all. And I come back to s'pore and everything is the same. And I mean everything, or at least the things that matter most to me. And that includes the messy room I left behind, my warring parents who are barely talking to each other, and the humid weather that's making my face leak with oil again. Perhaps that's h.o.m.e. Something that remains constant in ur life, no matter how the outside world changes around u. Ok I'm getting a bit philosophical here, but then again, spending time with urself, with the numerous dialogues in ur head, u tend to think philosophy.

I miss Sweden as much as I did last time. Even tho I spent one-third the time there now, even tho I didn't have as much time to party as before. It could be the lovely city, the friends I have there, the friends I made, the eye-candy that I may never see again, but it could also be the independence I enjoyed despite having to worry abt the next meal, or whether I'd freeze my nose off at the bus stop. And I'm more eager than ever to return there - this time more permanently, Inshallah. Was suggesting to sakura that I'll go to sweden, she can do her degree in uk, then we can meet in iceland. Come to think of it, I think Denmark would be a more central location. My father has probably realised he can't stop me from achieving my dreams anymore. He's learning to loosen the grip on my leash, but he's still gripping on to sakura's tightly. We'll plan. And we'll see how things go. Sounds like a good dream eh?

2 comments:

chat-moyen said...

i liked this post a lot.

yeh, you and your sis could do it.. it's not just a dream.

and i can live in norway!

princesssaf said...

heh yeah then we can meet on the moutainous borders