I'm writing this not as a "warning" to others, but more so of a reminder to myself, of my previous folly.
I used to judge parents/mothers. Not that I attacked them per se but since that is the topic close to heart these days, that's what I'm focusing on.
One of the memories of my "judgemental" views that came to mind recently was when my Burmese friend told me that shortly after the birth of her daughter, she chose to work at the Myanmar-Laos border (or something of the sort) because she needed to be away. She was not into the whole mummyhood thing and needed some distance.Of course I gasped, not realising the emotions she must have been experiencing.
Many years later as a mummy now I realise how she must have felt. No, she was not abandoning her child, she was doing what was best for her family.
I had always suspected that I wasn't going to be the stay-at-home mum, especially if I had still been in Sg. Nothing against SAHMs but I am the independent, go-getter person that needs to be not confined at home with a baby or not. Lately however, especially because of experiencing a less than welcoming work environment, coupled with the desire to watch my precious prince grow up, as well as fill the void I felt when (some) other mums used to be around with their children in my primary school days, I decided that being a SAHM would not be a bad idea afterall. And of course the environment here is very condusive for SAHMs, coupled with societal pressure and all.
And then comes the BUT...
But...my husband will not allow it. No, he is not some money grabbing man who wants to profit from his wife's earning. The total opposite is true - he wants H's mummy to be sane with exposure to the outside world. He knows that as much as Ibu enjoys looking after the lil one, she'll be at her wits' end bored by the third day at home, knowing that there's no work waiting for her in her inbox.
Unfortunately in my 3 months back here I have already faced a few comments of how I'm seemingly neglecting my child. 2 from people I'm not even close with. One said "Leave your job; it doesn't need you, but your son does."
Well, thank you very much for your advise, as if I didn't know that already. To these people, who probably have set ideas on how mummies should be at home 24/7, JUST BECAUSE I "STILL" WORK DOES NOT MEAN I LOVE MY BABY ANY LESS. So please, keep your gasps and uninvited comments to yourself. Thank you.