[blackout at #09-**]

A torchlight would've been useful - if it had batteries! So came our mobile phones..which gave us the light we needed to grope around the circuit board in the store room. Thank you technology.

We had a power trip in our house yesterday. At first I thought it was my dad switching off the light without knowing I was in the toilet...so I was wailing "I'm in the toilet! Don't off the light!!" Then I heard my sis scurrying out of the room so I thought..yay something exciting's happening in our estate (re: recent blackouts in sg) but well..not as close. I had turned on mum's computer earlier and it refused to start. Then when I entered the room, it smelt like burnt wire - so I figured something must've short circuited there n tripped the power. I guess this is what happens when u dun listen to the expert who says that your power socket is overloaded. Tsk tsk. We tried plugging in the multiple sockets thingy (gosh i realise i dun have a word for this gadget...) and each time the whole house was in darkness. So yeah - only the modem and the router are plugged in now.

Back to queueing for the pc. I hope school starts soon so that I can scamper to the comp before sakura does hehe.

[emo]

been feeling quite emo lately. small things made me tear, like when

1. charlotte (charlotte's web) died then her babies flew away instead of staying in the barn to accompany wilbur

2. i had to say goodnite after sending flo home

3. my doc cldn't find my past records

Dunno wat's happening to me..PMS? I hope...

[Naruwan]

That's welcome to Taiwan in aborigine language.

I'm back I'm back! Had an awesome time in Taipei, as I always make it a point to when I travel. Heh. It was so good that I even enjoyed the biostats workshops we had to attend (main purpose of the trip actually). It was a pretty good revision of what we'd already learnt so it was fun actually knowing what the lecturers were talking about, and even being able to explain it to my colleagues. p-values n more..bring it on!

I did pretty much everything I wanted to do. Visited the night market and Ximending with the ladies on our first couple of days there. We even skipped our not-so-formal formal dinner on the second night to see the world's tallest building (for now) - Taipei 101. We got by with our minimal knowledge of Mandarin...even managed to converse a little with those who spoke not much English (with a bit of comedy of course!)

I did the must sees like the Sun Yat Sen and Cheang Kai Shek memorial halls, National Palace Museum and even the Aborigine museum (left out by many tourists...I went there cos I have a soft spot for natives who have been driven out from their own land..must go there next time to visit their tribes...).

Then there was the nature part - Taroko Gorge (Hualien), Northern coast tour (Keelung Harbour and Yehliu Scenic Area), Northeastern coast tour (Nanya Rock Formations, Bay of Two Colors, Chiufen (aborigine) Village), and Yangmingshan National Park with the hot spring baths. The views were just AMAZING. I remember touching down in Hualien and the backdrop from the airport was moutains. What a lovely spot. Taroko Gorge was beautiful beyond belief...I'm so jealous that we're so deprived of natural sceneries here. If any of you decide that you need a soothing place to meditate, that's definitely the place to go. I would have spent hours just listening to the waters flowing and admiring the rocks if I hadn't been on a guided tour.

There were pretty interesting rock formations at Yehliu. Queen's head, elephant head, fairy's shoe..what have you. Some needed some imagination to be deciphered lol. I also managed to captivate a Korean's heart...he was trying so hard to buaya me...even asked me to attend a workshop in Seoul so that I could visit him! Tsk tsk. He was saying I was beautiful and smart and blah blah then our tour guide (thankfully) burst his bubble by saying that I'm Muslim so can only marry Muslim. Muahaha. I could swear poor Mr Korean guy became more quiet after that. He even got me to take a pic for him on my cam so that I can email it to him...was a tactic just to get my contact after I disappointed him abt not having a name card..haha.

I had loads of fun taking all sorts of pictures..now that I know my cam a little better. I was in a pretty trigger happy mood (till I pissed Sugi off haha) especially in the scenic areas, and I'm pretty happy with the shots I got. I also got to meet Winnie, one of my online friends from m'sia who's studying there. She brought me on my first motorbike ride ever..I was nervous and first..but it turned out to be really thrilling. Wanted her to go faster lol. That was half my butch fantasy fulfilled lol. She brought me to Shihlin Night Market..and we realised neither of us are big shoppers so we ended up spending on food instead. It was a pity we couldn't meet on Fri...cos we forgot to take pics tog. Hope we meet again in future :)

Taiwan's a beautiful country. I'm pretty sure I wanna return there to explore more. For now I shall get back to admiring the scenery... Check out more pics here!

[to love or not to love]

Got this from a Ruth's blog:

What will you do if you face a situation where you love 2 people. Person A loves you madly but person B likes you (not sure madly) and you love person B madly but guilty of leaving person A?

A couple of other things came to mind:
Do you think it's alright if in a relationship A loves B more than B loves A? Should B feel guilty for not loving A equally? Are we able to define how much is equal love?

Comments anyone?

[for M&M]

Ben & Jerry's performance

Far in her element

The Band

[view from the top]

I've been doing a lot of impulsive shopping lately - altho' it hasn't seem to be working in making me undepressed. Anyway Fri's one was the best so far. After dinner with ruth, yun n ester (and a crazy chat about boys n dates and even porn!), the girls brought me shopping. They suggested going clubbing so I said I wasn't in a sexy enough outfit, so they didn't let me out of IORA till I bought something haha. I was really about to give up cos I either didn't really like the tops or they were too sexy or didn't fit well. Then finally the salesgirl picked out something "retro" for me and voila..we could go clubbing now. It was hilarious cos I've never done such impulsive shopping - and literally buying and wearing the top immediately. But it was damn fun..you gals are the best! Must do more shopping n crazy stuff with u all heh.

We went to New Asia bar after that - at the 70th storey of Raffles City. The view was amazing and the music was really good too. Saw ruth n ester flaunt a bit of their dancing skills, then I decided to join in the fun. I think we were among the tamest there...but had loads of fun anyway! Here's some pics!

[a tale of love and desire]

I caught Notre Dame De Paris last Saturday with Sakura. And of my criteria for a good musical, the overture was left ringing in my head after the show...so yes..it was good haha. I was a bit hasty in buying the tickets - was happy with the 20% UOB card discount, but now NTUC is offering 30% discount for members..grr. No fair no fair. I burnt a hole in my (August) pocket, but I guess it was worth it...wouldn't get good seats if I buy tix now.

It was a lovely musical with lots of grandeur. I managed to read thru the summary of the classic by Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Pardon me but I'm not good in my classics so I needed a little refreshing abt what the story was about. Even after reading the summary I got a bit confused during the show tsk tsk. Good thing I had Sakura (tho she was hoping I'd tell her what the story was abt...I guess we both didn't pay attn to our classics...) I don't usually enjoy sung-through musicals but this one didn't have silly lyrics like a couple I've watched before. The songs had some lame titles, but they transitioned with the story well and were very romantic - and combined with the ultimate language of romance, it was absolutely dreamy. It also made me realise I've forgotten all my French..cos I kept translating things into Swedish lol. Wrong language!!

The show had a lot of acrobatics - rapelling down walls, somersaults and break dances. Needless to say it was very lively. My favourite scene was when the bells of the cathedral hung down from above...two small ones and a big one in the centre. And there were actors doing stunts and dancing off the bells - the synchronised swinging was really impressive. I also liked the part where they had some "angels" hanging down (sakura thinks they represet the dead Esmeralda tho..) and when the "lifeless" bodies came to live..they started dancing so gracefully. It was almost as if they were really floating in the air. My only complaint was that they could've chosen a better Esmeralda, since in the story she's someone who's really captivating. Oh and they could've added a few of her sexy dances which mesmerised the men...haha.

We had somewhat of a bonus too. At the end of the show, after the standing ovations they received, the main character sang the overture alone at first, then followed with the rest of the cast and music. I love the song!! Too bad I don't understand the lyrics, or rather know what the heck he's saying. Sounds good anyway. I thought it was a very French thing to do; to give an encore...but well, they invented the word didn't they? Haha. If any of you sweeties ever come across the lyrics to the theme song, or have a budding talent for deciphering French songs, please fill me in!

**runs away humming..."The time of the cathedrals has come..."**

P.S. I bought the DVD so if any of u wanna watch it on tv, feel free!

Temps de Catedral Encore


Temps de Catedral

[in the name of the law]

Was discussing some pretty intense topics during lunch today, like the difference in parenting laws in Singapore and Sweden. We were talking about how Sweden doesn't allow parents to lift a finger on kids, even when they're misbehaving. While most Asian parents, who still believe in using the rod, might snigger and say "ah that's why their kids turn out nasty", you can't help but wonder where to draw the line between labelling a parent who's disciplining his child, and one who is abusing the child.

My friend messaged me a couple of days ago at 3am in the morning to tell me she was in terrible pain. Why? Her father had just beaten her - again. All because she was caught smoking. A couple of months back, he hit her so bad that she had to go to the hospital to get an eye scan because her sight was affected during the battering. I asked whether she had made a police report and apparently she HAD to; since she had to be admitted. What was the outcome of that? Her father simply told the police he was disciplining his child so they dropped the matter.

I knew it would be pointless to ask if she would wanna report to the police about this early morning incident and her meagre response was that they'd just take her statement and leave it at that, and her father would probably tell them it was a family matter and she's be back at square one again. And this poor, small-built girl could only stay in bed, locked up in her room the whole day, contemplating if there would ever be a day she could escape.

Where does the law help in this instance? Isn't our dear law enforcement agency supposed to protect innocent victims even if it's a domestic matter? I remember the time my brother held my dad at knife point the whole night. They arrested him in the morning, but by afternoon they sent him back home. It's as if u're releasing ur potential killer back in your safe space..to give him another opportunity to attack perhaps? I could list a million and one things that the cops didn't help us do, like not helping us send him to IMH when he was getting violent, simply because they "did not have enough experience handling psychiatric patients". Are we supposed to have more experience than them? What were we supposed to do then? Wrap him up in a little box and send him in the car? Well if we could've fitted him in nicely, we wouldn't have asked them for help. Will my friend only be rescued the day she's unable to be dragged back home by her father?

That wasn't the only issue that came to mind. My friend also mentioned that her father was "discplining" her in the name of religion. She's presumably too wild for his liking, and should learn to be a better little Muslim girl - I suppose one who conforms to his every demands. While I can't say much about her behaviour, I still believe that no matter how nasty your child is, a parent has no right to abuse her so violently. If smoking were a reason to beat up your child, I think a lot more people should be bashed up by now. What happened to rational talking? If he wants to talk religion, didn't the Prophet preach non-violence? Is he being a good Muslim by instilling so much fear in his family, to the point where the girl's own mother no longer dares to protect her from his beatings? To the point where she really cannot run away from home because there's always a way he's gonna track her down. And to the point where she no longer has any self-esteem and is unable to love herself truly.

There's a few things she could do; like seriously consider running to a relative's place or a women's shelter, or getting a personal protection order. Report to the police..let her statements pile up. And when the time comes, throw all the reports in his face and show him how nasty he's been. It's easier said and done, and I would know how she's feeling. Lost. With no one to help you. Stuck. Not knowing what to do next. She told me her father said the only way she could get out of the house was through a marriage contract. I seriously pray she'll consider the former options. For now I can only be a listening ear.

[seafood weekend]

dear diary, i'm writing to confess that i pigged out during the weekend. it was food food food, and the theme was seafood. my partner in crime was flo, and we started our indulgence on friday to celebrate her birthday. (Happy 25th dearie!) We went to Faber Rock at Mount faber which had an alfresco style dining area overlooking the cable cars and Sentosa. Unfortunately, we couldn't see much of Sentosa cos of the haze, and the service sucked. The buffet was worth it tho..$38++ and we ate lots n lots of bbq-ed prawns, beef, satay and lamb (we got to pick what we wanted to have bbq-ed..that was fun...picking out lots n lots of prawns to get our dollar's worth haha). The dessert wasn't really good...hmm...I think the place scores much better on presentation than anything else. The ambience was perfectly romantic, candle light and all. Ahh..wish we could be there the whole night. We had much more important things to do though, like go for a drive and tuck into bed. Skipped Mt Faber Park cos flo's afraid of the dark..so that shall be our next day time agenda. ;)

Sat was a bit of an adventure. Was running aroud planning Flo's surprise. She went over to Auntie's place so I could sneak out of her place and get her b'day cake. Was a little late in fetching her...between my lie about being at the car wash and her worrying abt what time I was gonna pick her up, I was glad she didn't have a clue what I was up to. We went over to our friend's house for raya...then i crept back down to the car to get the cake. Luckily I grabbed one of sha's friends to accompany me..needed the moral support haha. We sneaked the cake in, lit the candles, and finally brought it out. I think the cream was slightly melted..but well..the best I could do. Next time I'll just ask sha to buy cake for me heh. Flo was pretty surprised...was glad it worked. :P We chilled out for awhile, eating the Tiramisu (yum yum), some kuih, then headed home. We wanted more seafood at Fisherman's Village but the food centre was closed so we bought stuff at woodlands. Our second pig-out session, chilli n black pepper crabs, tom yam soup (that I finally enjoy), chilli kang kong and sting ray. Great food, even greater that flo was peeling much of the crabs for me. Haha. Yeah, I know I'm spoilt. Tsk tsk. We bought so much that we had leftovers for today. Why do u think I'm feeling guilty??

What did we eat today eh? Oh yeah, lunch at causeway point. Well that wasn't too big..which is good. I went to make new glasses cos my old pair disappeared after my starlight movie at the padang. And now that I'm attending classes, I have a dire need for a new pair. I bought a pair of transitions lenses...can't wait to try them out next week! Would be really useful for driving n stuff. Erm..not that I use my specs that much...

After all that eating, I'm left with no dinner now. So I resorted to frozen pizza...and had one whole piece...but I'm still not full. Had some choc chip ice cream cos sakura wanted a partner in crime. I guess I should stop eating since I'm feeling pretty guilty already..and also so that I don't put on double the weight I lost during fasting month. Guess I should turn in early, before I reach for the fridge again. Good night!

[time to lepak]

Been pretty zoned out and exhausted lately...with my mind-f***king over issues which are beyond my control. Was off on Thur cos of a tension headache n puking, and the nausea and throbbing hasn't really gone away. Sigh. It was good that I didn't have to spend the weekend alone, would've been disastrous for my poor little overworked mind.

Had a great time meeting up with my buddies over the weekend. Sat nite was pretty wild...my friend n I drove to Seletar reservoir just for the sake of it. We sat by the rocks and tried to gaze into the horizon...but the PSI was 52, so we couldn't gaze very far. The golf course looked nice from where we were sitting, so instead of natural greenery, we admired the neatly planted trees and bright green grass, talking abt the shit that's been happening ard us. I felt like I was in limbo world, my mind preoccupied with questions questions and more questions, ones that I couldn't solve. I was crazy enough to let my friend try driving the car...I think she kinda got the hang of it after awhile. For the rest of the night, I think I worried the hell out of another friend. Sorry.

Sunday was much more chirpier. Went to meet Yun to have a little b'day lunch with her. She gave me a (very) belated b'day prezzie..but hey, better late than never! I gave her the camisole I got her from Victoria's Secret and she couldn't help but peek into the bag..haha. She was too shy to take it out tsk tsk...must tell me when u try it on!! Better yet, show me a pic. haha. We talked for a couple of hours, catching up on a lot of stuff. Then I got a call from my "parole officer" to see if I was behaving myself..lol. Yes yes, I'm only drinking fruit juice :P. We walked ard Heeren a bit then I went off to meet the Hello Pandas at the Toy Museum cafe.

Happy b'day Mel =) Hope u had fun! I always do when I'm out with u guys. N Min, thanks for consoling me..what u said makes sense...*sobz*...will patiently wait to heal. I think by dinner my headache n nausea was back so I could hardly eat the Parmesan Crusted Chicken with Basil which was pretty good. The waitress was abt to clear my plate when Lionel n Mel asked for it back and ended up eating my leftovers haha. Desert was good tho, after lying down awhile on the huge comfy sofa I felt a little better. But then again, chocolate always makes me feel better ;) We crapped n crapped till we certified ourselves as unwanted (noisy) guests...but who cares..we had loads of fun! Min n bf were busy..ahem..interacting...I think they hardly noticed the nonsense we were up to. We made full use of our couch reservation and went home only a couple of hours later. Felt really good to luagh out loud with the gang. Let's meet up again soon!

[raya was good]

Hari Raya was a pretty peaceful occasion this year. Uneventful. Yes, uneventful = good, at least in our house. Sis n I relished the fact that we could be guests this year, which meant we weren't drained after a morning of cooking and panicking, an afternoon stealing naps while waiting for guests to come, and an evening cleaning up the kitchen. Auntie took over hosting this year (not that we had much of a choice), but yeah, everything went well. Bro behaved by doing what he does best - getting his token n running off even before the night of Syawal could set in, but really, who cares as long as there no (or not much) commotion. Dad behaved too. Yay.

I was a little confused about ang pao giving/receiving. I didn't want to receive, now that I was working, but I wasn't prepared to give (finances ain't really flourishing at the moment and well basically, just wasn't prepared). So there were moments of awkwardness between Auntie saying she should be getting reimbursement for all the ang paos she has given me over the years, and Auntie Rad slipping me one in the midst of my protests. We should have clearer boundaries abt green packet culture like the Chinese.

Jam n I found something in common - mingling ain't really our cup of tea. After hurriedly serving dinner, we were pretty much satisfied sitting in the room hanging out but Auntie came in and dragged us out for mingling time. Mingling wasn't really on the go till Auntie helped to break the ice - sometimes I wish I had a closer r'ship with my cousins and not just see them once a year, at most twice. Auntie reached a point of englightenment when she realised that tho the ADULTS were all in the living room talking family and business, she was clowning ard with us "kids"...pretty hilarious. Well, who says age is a barrier to fooling around eh? ;) My models weren't exactly sporting to humour my trigger happy mode..but I managed to get some pics with my hp. Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. (seriously, don't say it if u don't mean it...)

[Her Song of Unrequited Love]

Love like mine is never ending
mine will last forevermore.
All my love to you I'm sending
from your faithful "open door."

Want you to know
you are the one I wait here for.
Everyday my thoughts are with you
'though I know yours aren't with me.
And you may have met another
lady of your fantasy.
I shed no tears
you are not forced to love me.

Fearing my own desires could stray
I keep busy through the day
still thinking of you standing there
I accept you do not care...
O wasted years!
with a broken love affair.

I come to terms with destiny
living life, yearning for thee;
we meet up in my dreams at night
till I wake and see the light
I must be strong
All alone to sing my song
and I will be alright.

-Joyce Hemsley

[this ramadhan]

I thought the days of screaming at the table during buka were over. Or the melodramatic cries about "I can't cope alone (yeah right) this year". Or the incessant need to "ration" out food so that enough goes around the table at night and in the morning. And of course I thought the ending of the bickering between my dear parents would finally bring peace to the house. Doesn't seem so.

The tension is still abound, especially when a certain family member decides to act like a 5-year-old kid. We wonder when we'll have the next good home cooked meal, even the simplest of dishes satisfy our palates. The constant piquing drives us insane, we give in just to avoid the badgering. The moment we come home, some form of torment begins. How long will this last? I wished it ended yesterday.

Will things ever change, will the insensitive turn sensitive? No we're not exaggerating, 2 decades of this pattern GETS TO YOU. If it wasn't for God keeping me sane, and my dear friends who bear my crying in pain, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today.

Ramadhan is ending, goodbye to the blessed month so soon. Comes forth another worry, of how we're going to spend the arrival of the new moon. I pray everything goes well; if not utterly pleasant, at least not disdainful.

[revitalising alright!]

I took last Friday off to chill. Since I had physio in the morn and dad has been bugging me to follow him to HDB on a Fri which is his only off day, I thought why not. Physio was tiring...learnt some exercises...and bid farewell to my therapist. lol. Well since I'm gg to the private one, which is much better, I don't mind the extra cost. Was pretty agitated cos they were gonna show a Westlife interview on CNA...and the moment they came back "right after the break", it was my turn to go in. (arghhh). I was pretty touched Dad came to fetch me even tho it was pretty early in the morning and he cld've slept in. I really thought we were going to the Bt Merah branch and since that'd be near SGH, it would be a gd arrangement. Only later I found out that that branch no longer exists, and we actually went to the one in Clementi which is like..duh..so near!

Accompanied mum to Sim Lim in the afternoon cos she wanted to buy a monitor for her laptop. She still hasn't figured out how to use it..hmm..can anyone help?

Ok here comes the highlight of the day...my retreat!! Finally decided to use the voucher my dear Hello Pandas gave me for my b'day...since it's gonna expire in abt a mth. I didn't mind at all that it was all the way in Changi cos I'd seen the hotel it's in before, and it overlooked the sea so I thought it'd be lovely. And lovely it was. I didn't get the seaview cos I was on the 1st floor (girls: next time we have a spa party on the 8th..complete with jacuzzi facing changi beach). I thought I'd end up at a very chee-na place (no offence) cos the receptionist called earlier and went like "Hi Miss Safiyyeee...ur spa appt at 4pm leh!!" Lol. Thank god the therapist spoke better...and the service was perfect. It started off with a cup of oligomer tea (whatever that is...supp to be good for u...ok lah of course they'd say that i guess ), but I couldn't drink since I was fasting. So we headed to the room which was WOW. It was as big as a hotel room and complete with a steam sauna, bathtub that can fit two comfortably, and a shower. The amenities were good too - lots of paper undies (with a choice of g-string or regular haha), 3 combs (wonder what I'd need so many for...), toothbrush n toothpaste, 2 shower caps, plastic slippers - well you get the picture.

My retreat started off with an aromatic steam bath, salt sea scrub (which I accidentally tasted cos she spilt some on my lips..yucks..VERY salty), and a shower. Then I soaked my feet in a tub while she gave me a soothing "welcome" head massage. That set the mood for the full body massage, under the dim lights. By now I was exclaiming - I have the bestest buddies ever! Haha. I didn't want the massage to end...nooo...not so soon! The wonderful experience ended with an aromatic scalp massage and I took my own sweet time to change back into my clothes after that (oh and mel..I managed to put my papparazzi skills to work..tsk tsk..nice rite? :P). The therapist did a little advertisement by bringing me to the 8th floor to have a look at the place and I must say, it looks terrific. For a moment there I didn't feel as if I was in Singapore. Reminded me of the Batam Spa resort we went to in June. The view was amazing, definitely would consider indulging in the jacuzzi package...girl's weekend out ppl?

I headed down to Changi Village after that to buy the famous nasi lemak for buka under the sunset. Unfortunately the stall vendors were on a break so i bought from the stall next door..still nice lah.. Waited for Flo to come so that we could have dinner tog. But she didn't manage to get a cab cos of rush hour so by the time she came, I had had two cups of drinks (damn thirsty..the lymphatic drainage massage whatever must've worked...) and the moon was up and bright. We had our little picnic anyway, under the full moon. There were a few families there celebrating Lantern Festival. Was pretty cool, I never knew families actually went out to celebrate together. We were admiring the waves and the full moon, and just chilling out, listening to some songs on our phones. The tempestuous waves were a bit scary at first, but really quite pretty when u stop to admire the ripples and gushing sounds they make. Flo was getting bitten by insects so we decided to head home.

Was a relaxing day indeed. Just wanted to say a big thanks to the Hello Pandas again...one of the best b'day prezzies ever! Muaks muaks muaks!

P.S. I managed to find the Westlife interview here...yay! Well for the non-WL fans...I didn't know CNA had interview archives..so just in case u've missed an interview of say...Shahrukh Khan..here's the link

[visited country map]

cool link i got from a friend. will inspire me to travel more. wonder when my whole map will be red haha. :P



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

[California Here We Come]

I'M BACK!!! And it's time to get blogging again! Yes, about my trip to California.

Like the American's favourite word..."awesome"! Yes it was. I must say though that upon landing we weren't really impressed. The airport runway looked old and there were patches of earth with dried up grass. Very unlike what Changi Airport wld do to spruce up the place - even if it means beautifying the place with fake lawn grass. Even mum commented that Sweden had a bigger impact on her even upon landing.

Our first day wasn't very eventful. I planned a couple of things to do but we were pretty tired so we napped the day away...then I forced the two to wake up so that we could prevent jet lag. The receptionist during our check in (still remember his name..Kamal Ahmed) was pretty annoying. He was giving us all sorts of lame excuses not to give us a special rate viz. EEG Inst where mum was attending her course at. Luckily I was in my arguing mode - saved at least USD100 a night!! Our first dinner was Mexican food. Nice...but it's quite "muak" (dunno how to say it in English..but it's the feeling like..when u eat too much cream and u get so like "whoa enough already" haha). One meal and for the rest of the trip, we didn't want Mexican anymore.

Our first adventure was to Disneyland. Oh and might I add that I had an adventure with the Toyota Highlander that we rented from Hertz. HUGE car..an SUV in fact...we had to get that instead of a smaller Hyundai cos we wanted the GPS ("NeverLost" system that would give us directions. Turned out to be really useful...we never got lost...just took a couple of detours now and then tsk tsk). Disneyland wasn't as exciting as I thought it'd be. The entrance wasn't that grand and the rides...well..perhaps cos I had to take most of them alone. Mum n Flo are not into motion rides...tho I managed to drag Flo on a couple. Was her first time and I must say she was really brave about it. You go girl! At least I got to meet Mickey Mouse haha. I got excited just seeing a fake "Captain Jack Sparrow"...he looked pretty close to Johnny Depp's character. I think if it'd really been him I'd have gone bonkers. We had an extra treat since it was their 50th Anniversary this year, so at the end of the day there was a parade going on with all the cartoon characters. Wish I were a kid again!

Universal Studios the next day was totally amazing. Best theme park I've ever been to, and way better than the one at Brisbane (from what I can recall). They lived up to their reputation of being the biggest and most entertaining theme park in Hollywood. The behind the scenes tour of the sets were very insightful...and really really cool. They had very realistic simulations - like the one where our tram stopped in a Mexican "town" and it started raining (the sprinklers turned on) and very soon the "river" overflowed and water gushed out and flooded the streets. The fire display commemorating the movie dedicated to firefighters "Backdraft" was one of the most thrilling simulations I've ever seen. Real fire mind you...explosions here and there...and the set was only a couple of metres in front of us. We could literally feel the heat...that short presentation made me feel in awe abt the brave men who fight fires almost everyday. We even got to see Wisteria Lane of Desperate Housewives...there was filming going on that day but too bad we didn't get to see the housewives. We got our drawings done at Universal too. The artist was so nice..gave us a discount..maybe we look like poor students lol.

Other highlights were the Mulholland Drive Scenic Corridor where we got to see a bird's eye view of LA. We drove along Topanga Canyon as well to see the Santa Monica Moutains...they were simply magnificent. I can't help but marvel at the fact that they have established a city surrounded by mountains. It's like..usually the moutainous regions I've been to in Indonesia are in the rural areas...but here in this City of Angels...surrounded by beautiful scenery even on ur drive to work. Wow. I got distracted while driving a couple of times cos I was gazing at the scenery. Would be a beautiful place to live in. The UCLA campus was also fabulous - huge and lots of greenery. I only saw a tiny section of it and was already amazed. Something we'd NEVER get over here! Sobs...

Oh and did I mention that I got excited everytime I saw the Hollywood Sign..tsk tsk. First time was when our dearest GPS directed us to a spot to take pics of the sign. Second was when we were driving along the moutains, third was in Hollywood...Flo cldn't understand why I was so excited. Wel, I couldn't either..lol. Just that I've always wanted to see the "typical" Hollywood thing. Hollywood itself wasn't as exciting though..I guess it's the glitz and glamour of the stars that make it more alive. Hollywood Blvd was quite a disappointment. Apart from the Walk of Fame, near chance to catch Jessican Simpson (we decided she wasn't worth sacrificing sunset for), tour of the Kodak Theatre where the Oscars are held (and will be held till 2070 I think..), there wasn't much else to see. We had a bit of a thrill seeing where the stars live...got to see Tom Cruise's Merz leaving his house. Unfortunately the closest I got to seeing Johnny Depp was his star on the Walk of Fame. Oh well, there's always next time. haha.

We had a bit of a detour on our itinerary. Instead of getting to Palm Springs, we spent a day at the hospital cos Flo strained her back It was pretty bad cos she was getting into spasms and all...thank god her condition was serious enough that they let her in only an hour after registration. There were patients who had to wait for like up to 3 hours, a few giving up and cursing the management and all. Boo to Chicago Hope and ER and what have you...the service there wasn't impressive at all. Flo was into major spasms when she was in the triage yet she had to wait another half hour before being treated, cos the nurse couldn't administer anything till the doc had seen her. And they didn't let me in so I spent 3 hrs alone in the waiting room worrying whether she was gonna be ok. Managed to chat to a couple of locals tho, learnt a few things from them like how their medical system works and how college costs USD30000 per year! The lady I was talking to was sweet enough to convey to my mum that I was waiting outside when she went into the triage with her daughter (who coincidentally had a back strain too). Then finally mum came out to smuggle me in so that I cld be assured that everything was alright. Flo was give a couple of Valium jabs (pretty strong..they wldn't do that over here). She got a bit drowsy after that. Subsequently, everytime she took her Val pills, she was a bit tipsy. It was scary but hilarious to see her behaving so childishly as opposed to her usual "controlled" self. So point to note: if you're not depressed, that's what Valium can do to you. Lol.

Santa Monica Pier was more brilliant. Thanks to my LA friend, Chris, who told us to go there to catch sunset. It was the most beautiful sunset ever (ok well..I'm a freak for sunsets and anything nature...). The setting was pretty romantic too - sunset, baskers playing romantic love songs, watching birds in the sky, lovers walking hand in hand. Ahhh..wished the moment lasted longer. Flo n I had a fantastic time there...lovely.

Okies, that was a lowdown on our LA trip. I don't feel that I'm done with that place, so if any of u have plans to go there, let me know!! Hehe. Lots more things to see! You can check out my photos here. There's loads...couldn't help not uploading a lot of them..even after a lot of careful picking and choosing. Oh well, the photography freak in me... :P

[westlife geek]

Yes, I'm still a Westlife geek. I was pretty shocked at my own excitement - after not paying much attention to the boyz from Ireland for ages (in fact I only listened to their Face to Face album a few wks before gg for their concert). But with their opening song - Flying Without Wings, I went bonkers immediately. The lads are brilliant on stage, and yes, they can sing...and dance! I went with my senior last Friday. Interestingly, we both pledged a couple of yrs back that we'd watch it tog the next time WL came over (we missed their previous show cos neither of us had concert buddies to go with) and coincidentally, we found each other to go with. So yeah, there we were - I was expecting her to go more nuts than me (err..she has tendencies...) but I think we were both off our heads the moment Westlife appeared on stage. Their most amusing number was their rendition of PSD's Don't Cha. It was hiliarious! They were showing off their booties, and changed the lyrics to "don't cha wish ur BOYfriend was hot like me". Lol. Irish humour eh? And then there was a medley of songs which included MJ's "Billie Jean", complete with his trademark hat, gloves and erm..crotch grabbing (well almost...). We got premiere seats so we were pretty close to stage. The guards kept shooing fans back to their seats...pretty dumb...what's the fun of not being able to run to the front of the stadium to scream at ur idols?? I was so caught up in the moment, I kept snapping shots after shots. Oh and might I add that I love my new camera cos it zooms so well!! Haha, as if I haven't said that before. They did their "it's our last song" trick just as I decided to join the screaming girls in front. There was one screaming boy too..who went like "I love u" with his really shrill pre-pubescent voice...it got the few of us ard him turning to see where the voice was coming from. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I was pretty sure they weren't at their last song yet. And after some screaming for an encore (one girl actually went "an-core"...*rolls eyes*), they came out with Seasons in the Sun. Weee. My fave song. Oh and since I was up front, I could see the gorgeous lads...they look soooooooo good in real. The posters weren't lying afterall! Mark put on quite a lot of weight...he was showing off his paunch when they took off their coats at one stage, and he consciously pulled down his ahem..figure hugging tshirt so that his belly didn't look too obvious. Most of my pics are probably of him...if u haven't already noticed :P. He can sing really well, in fact they did pretty well live. Kian missed a couple of lines, but I guess it's bcos he's not used to taking over Bryan's parts. And some pretty rude audience members actually laughed at him. How uncouth! Oh and that reminds me - there was this couple who brought their kids along..the girls were barely 5 and 7 - I really wonder why they brought them along. Family outing? Cos half the time the girls seemed fidgety and whenever the fans screamed, mum and the girls covered their ears - duh..isn't that what u expect at concerts??

Ok ok, back to my drooling over Mark. He was really good - singing, dancing, smiling (awww). Oh and (in my imaginative mind), he even waved at me..yes yes he did! (ok lah..i guess he was waving at the bunch of us...but anyway.... I was telling my friend at the end of the concert that I didn't care he was gay - he's still adorable and will always be my fave!

We weren't so lucky being groupies - they left pretty quickly after the concert - in 2 merz cars. We were pretty much in denial, so we even stayed till the last van left and that was like ard 11.30!! Aida wanted to catch them in person, tho I doubted it wld happen. And well, it didn't.

The most ironic part of the day was when I got home, Saki told me that my dad told her that WL was staying at the hotel where he was working at. Goodness. And he didn't tell me! Talk abt insider info! He told me not to tell anyone...but duh...he said they checked out that afternoon already anyway. Humph! He apparently didn't tell ME cos he thought I wouldn't be interested. How wrong! Saki's the one who can't be bothered abt WL. Haha. And I guess I should be more detailed next time when I tell him I'm going for "a concert", cos he didn't know I was going for Westlife's concert. Damn...double damn!

It was a fantastic concert. I'm happy! But next time must rem to empty my memory card before gg so that I can take more vids with my cam (it kept saying memory full but it didn't show that my fireworks vids were still there..grr...). Oh well, I've got a few good shots and some recordings on my phone. Enjoy the pics!





by princessaf1

[ya ya sisterhood]

Flo came over again last weekend (yay!), on fri nite so tt she cld accompany me to physio next morning. I was afraid I'd be in terrible pain like the last time I went to the ortho, so my sweetie agreed to accompany me. Was really touched, never had someone care for me so much. Ok yeah some say parents - but I think my parents decided I should fend on my own after I reached a certain age. No more accompanying me to doctor's appts, no more fetching me from sch after a long day. I guess that's part of growing up, but it wouldn't hurt if they did once in awhile. Ok well..emo child speaking there..

Anyway, we were watching Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood on sat nite (I refused to let flo go home hehe). Watched it cos Sandra Bullock was starring, and well, sakura asked me to watch it on dvd last time but I didn't. It was a very very emotional show. I thought it was gonna be some crappy comedy where she usually has bimbotic roles in, but it was so meaningful. Gist of it is about Sandra Bullock's character coming to terms with shit that happened in her childhood, mostly due to her mum's (Ashley Judd/Ellen Burstyn) behaviour - including several bouts of depression and unconventional parenting techniques. Sandra being the eldest took the brunt of the crap and had been in therapy trying to figure out what did SHE do wrong. And her fiance wanted her to figure things out since it was troubling her a lot..and basically..well...end her "feud" with her mum.

The movie kinda conjured up a few memories abt my own relationship with my parents. My mother went thru a couple of severe depression episodes as well; she was unhappy with her marriage, and things weren't easy with my grandmother picking up fights with her very often, and my brother was in the worst stages of his behavioural issues. I guess I was her stabilising factor, so she used to come to me a lot for support. Not that I didn't want to, but I didn't know how to, and well, after awhile, I got irritated. Why was she always coming to me? Can't she ask someone else for help? I had to deal with a lot of issues myself, like bearing my brother's abuse, which was much more than physical. And I felt that she didn't listen to me, and kept focusing on herself. I guess that's why I learnt to shut myself up in my little cocoon, bottling up all my issues.

And then there were several scenes in the movie where the dad loved the mum so much, even tho he knew he could never be first place in her heart because her first love killed himself. It was so freaking touching - he stood by her through her crisis, even shifted out of their bedroom to give her the space she wanted. And at the end of the day, he still reached out his hand to tell her that she was the best thing that happened in his life. My tears just flowed out, couldn't hold them back anymore. It was awfully moving, tho I wondered whether I cried because of that scene, or bcos of the scenes which showed them constantly fighting and arguing while the children were huddled up in their rooms wondering what might happen next, whether they'd be able to sleep that night - scenes which invoked memories I'd rather not talk about. And it could also be bcos I've always longed for my parents to get along, without the shouting and screaming that got worse, without me needing to blast my CD player at night so I couldn't hear what was going on in the next room, without the threats of divorce and what have you. Though I've come to realise now that things are much much much more peaceful now that my parents are apart.

I was thoroughly glad that Florence was there with me during the movie. She's the only one so far I've told all my shit to. And her hug was all I needed to feel better. Thanks dear =) I know you may not understand everything I'm going through, or why I'm going through what I'm going through at this stage of my life; but to have you by my side is all I need.

I'll probably be feeling emo for some time to come. Warning to those of you who still decide to stay in contact with me. Haha. I'm seeing a counselor cos I finally decided to tackle my issues, or even find out what my issues are. I'm glad I've taken the first step, altho I almost chickened out the first time my counselor called me. (And all she wanted to say was hi lol) But I think I'm gonna be eternally grateful to her, cos she's doing it on a voluntary basis. I'd feel better if I was paying. Dunno how to broach the topic tho. For now, I'll stick to bringing eternally grateful. heh. I melted when she said "I want to be a part of your healing process", and she said it so sincerely. Gosh, I think if I had the privacy of my room now I'd be sobbing again lol. =)

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You Are 24% Obsessive

You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control.Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life.

How Obsessive Are You?

[la la la]

I'm looking forward to my LA trip. Two weeks more. Wee!

Ok pardon my crappiness...been having mood swings lately. But eccentricity makes life interesting, don't it? ;)

I've put up a list of my must-sees and these include:

1. Hollywood! (hope to do some STAR gazing)
2. Disneyland (I wanna meet Mickey!!)
3. Universal Studios
4. Get a tan at Long Beach (like I need one...just wanna check out a few hot bods haha)
5. Check out the gay bars at Santa Monica Blvd
6. Hop over to Arizona for a couple of days to see the Grand Canyon. Wouldn't wanna miss that chance since we're only a few hours away.
7. Have loads of fun!!

Sounds like a good plan??

[my angst]

We've heard enough of you
Your never-ending so-called wisdom
When really what we want
Is simply a bit of our freedom

Your feelings, your jobs, your pride
You only care about yourself
I wonder why you bother
To enquire about our health

Confident, intelligent, affectionate
To the world you may seem
But how you really treat us
Brings down our self esteem

Face the person you are
Fierce, intimidating and uptight
We're gonna make you realize that one day
We're gonna put up a fight

[I'm grateful]

~I bet my sister wishes she could sit down on the bed on a Sunday night filing her feet too.~

Ok I just had to add that line. Realised that while work seems a bore since u have to work for the rest of ur life, at least u're not at ur wits end figuring out integration questions which are very likely NOT gonna be the most important life lessons, and struggling to finish up your history essay.

After weeks of battling invasive germs trying to throw my immune system over, I think my body finally gave up. Front, right, centre...got help from dad's and a couple of colleague's very powerful germs and found myself having a nasty sorethroat on Thur. I went to the doc, coughed so loudly till the doctor didn't have to ask much, took my meds then slept the day away. Sleep was GOOD. Fri morn I could hardly open my eyes, so my sweet father went to the doc to extend my MC for me. Yay! (Ok I'm not suggesting asking ur fathers to extend ur MC's for u...I guess my family doc knows I see her only when I'm like pathetically sick..and yeah..this was one of those occasions...).

My sweetie came to look after me thru' the weekend. She came over after work on Fri to look after me (after my complaining that sis n dad weren't doing a good job haha). She bought me my fave blueberry cheese tart along with a lot of other stuff which gave me a much better appetite than fish curry. Bummed ard on Sat till flo had the urge to tidy up my messy kitchen tho what I really needed was someone to help me clean up my room. So off we went, scrubbing n exterminating any ants that were within sight. After the kitchen got spruced up, we rested a bit. Then started on my room...which is finally clean and tidy. Wee! Can celebrate hari raya oredi since spring cleaning is done hahaha. I'm still waiting for sis to do her portion tho...I tidied as much as I cld...except her junk. Bleah. This is why I'm not motivated to tidy...no one helps and I have to do 2 person's work. So darling, thank you so much for helping me. And of course for taking care of me nite n day. MUAKS!!!

[poem]

A simple gesture

Like putting tissue around my cup

That's your caring feature

That makes my heart go dub

*

I wasn't supposed to fall in love

Many months ago

But when I found my beautiful dove

I realized that was the only way to go

*

You make me feel so wholesome

With you my spirit becomes so intense

You put up with my tantrum

My whining and my nonsense

*

I'm sorry if I ask a lot

But only because I feel inadequate

Be apart from you I cannot

This love to nothing I can equate

***

-anonymous

[fireworks fanfare]

was attempting to do a collage of fireworks pics. then realised...my photoshop skills suck. so well..make do with just this simple one...

[my kewl nokia n73]

Can't believe I didn't blog this sooner. I think I got excited bragging to everyone on msn that i forgot abt my blog haha. Gotta show off my yet another latest gadget - my new Nokia N73! Woohoo! My darling Auntie bought it for me. It cost a great deal, much more than the presents I'm accustomed to, I think my most expensive b'day gift EVER. Thank you so much!!! My phone was due for a change in Sept, so I was expecting to wait till then to get a phone at a cheaper rate; but I guess my lucky stars were shining heh. Auntie didn't mind purchasing it without any subcription extension, etc, from a mobile shop along a string of mobile phone shops at Woodlands old town. They gave a pretty good trade in price for my 7260 so yeah..I felt a bit better. Hehe.

Auntie said this was to make up for all the years of no prezzies or no proper prezzies..haha...I think I don't have to ask for another prezzie from her for a few more years to come hehe. The best part was when I chose an older model, and she said...go for a better one. And this phone is like new, and I mean brand new! Launched 3 days before the day I bought. So new they haven't even shipped in the protector pouch yet lol. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it..it even has a 3.2 megapix camera...N73 u're meant for me!! Hee. Wait till I change my sim to a 3G enabled one...she's gonna see my face more often haha (she bought a 3G yesterday for herself so that we could video call each other heh). So while I play with my new toy, here's a pic of how it looks.

P.S. see I told u it just gets better..haha :P

[fireworks on national day]

Preview...

My best shot...and it's pathetic. Hmph. Gonna try again this Sat.

[Waiting for my retreat]

Ahhhh Part 2 is awesome!! Was waiting eagerly for the surprise that I'd receive in my mail. Guess what it is? A spa voucher!!! Weeeee!!! Thanks girls!! Just perfect! Hehe. At The Retreat some more..look so high class. La la la la la. In dream land now...deciding which branch to go to...far far at Changi but nice scenery...or nearer at Orchard...hmmm.... :P

[It just gets better!]

Wow! I love surprises. And I love birthdays even more; cos that's when I get even more surprises! Pleasant ones too heh.

After a failed attempt at star-gazing on Friday at the science centre observatory (it started pouring the instant we stepped into the place!) and a dinner (not-so-treat) at a hawker centre, I thought I wasn't gonna enjoy my b'day. Ok well, I enjoyed the piece of strawberry cake that GH bought me, esp after the trouble she went through asking the person what all the cakes contained (she didn't want to get anything with alcohol in it for me...sweet little girl).

On Sat I went back to Crescent for Sakura's speech day. She got two awards - Best in Humanities (HY) and Bronze award for her O-level results. I told her I was jealous cos I only got the Bronze award last time haha. Anyway, it was Crescent's 50th anniversary so the speech day was special. They launched some arts conservatory thingy, and the guest of honour was Stella Ng, who is apparently famous but I've never heard of before lol. She was pretty nervous cos it was her first speech ever, but I think she did pretty well. Wise words for a lady her age. And her dress was very girly-pretty too. Lucky prize winners - got to shake hands with a celeb heh. After the nostalgic presentation of the 50 yrs of Crescentian-hood, I must say I felt pretty proud to be a Crescent girl. Saw a couple of pics which had myself n my frens (it was Crescent's 40th when we were in Sec 1..wow time flies!). Can't imagine I actually remembered the school song which I sang with pride at the end of the ceremony. The day when we must part, may Crescent remain in our hearts!

Later on watched Cabaret with Aishah. She was still limping from her op but at least without the tongkat tsk tsk. It was a very entertaining piece, very provocative and sexy too ;). Then again, it's Cabaret...not exactly a family-friendly show as Fei Xiang put it heh. It was a good mixture of harsh facts of reality of the Nazis during Hitler's time, and the razzle dazzle of show biz. I liked the lead actress, pretty good acting, but she was kinda petite...hard to stand out. And I decided I ain't gonna buy a 3rd category ticket anymore haha. We were sitting in Circle 2 but right at the back...ok lah..I could see..with my glasses on...but can't see their expressions clearly. I'm a visual person ;) The show was quite short, both of us thought it would be around 2 hours, but after the half way intermission, there was only 30 mins to the end, so it was only 1.5 hrs. After the show...there was a failed attempt to treat me at Haagen Dazs. I usually (try to) pay for Aishah since she's still studying n all. So when the bill came, ironically directly to me as if they knew I was the one with the money lol, I quickly took out my card. Then only later on Aishah was like..u know what..i wanted to treat u. haha. oh well. next time i shld learn to read hints better :P After that I met Flo who treated me at Nana Thai for dinner. We went back to her hang out...then I went back home.

Sunday morning I finally got to sleep in. Woke up happy at 10.30 and excused myself from cooking :P Had to rush to tidy the room cos computer guy was coming to install our original XP (the pirated one kept worrying my dad cos he said he didn't wanna get caught lol). Then Sakura n I went to Marina Square to meet the berries for lunch. I was like half an hour late...but well...I was the guest of honour afterall hehe. (Ok lah, I did feel bad coming late...sorry..). I was surprised to see Isma there. Was also surprised that Sakura came along..hmm..my friends have a good insider. We went to Swenson's after (another) Thai lunch (theme this yr: saf likes thai food apparently. haha) for ice creaaammmmm. Yummy. Haha. Shared choc malt with Isma, was getting a bit high (we think Far was already high on her peanut butter float!). The girls had to go off after we took some pics and prezzie time [I got a handbag yay! i suspect sakura told them wat i wanted..hmmm] Sobs..what workaholics they are tsk tsk. But anyway I had a great time with them. Thanks gals! Really made my day =)

Was so surprised that Flo came to join us. Found out that she was in "it" too, she knew what time the rest were leaving so she came just as they were leaving. She surprised me with a sunflower bouquet...hee. Was so happy. Too bad she took it out after the rest left..so I cldn't show it off. Hahaha. Sorry, but I'm a sucker for romantic gestures keke. Anyway, I made sure half the town saw my flowers cos I carried them in my arms everywhere tsk tsk. So much so Flo didn't want so much attention we were getting :P. The best part was when she was asking me what she should get me, I vaguely thought "a bunch of flowers wld be nice" and voila! I guess we're so close that we can sense each other's vibes. kewl. Now I should start plucking the petals...she loves me...loves me not...

Ended the day with mum's treat at Newton food centre. She was craving for ikan bakar for a long time and the last time we came here the place was under renovation. So we used this as an excuse to go there. The new place looks nice but I think the ventilation sucks. The sheltered seating places were so smoky, luckily we got an open air table. We had huge prawns, ikan bakar, and some vege dishes...and to top it up we had music accompaniment by an orchestra. As if I hadn't eaten enough for the day, we went to NYDC at Orchard to have dessert. Wanted to spend more time with mum. The cheese cake was a disappointment but the mudpie was yum yum. I didn't enjoy my mocha drink either...wanted to grab sakura's latte. We had a great time chilling n laughing then headed home. Well what can I say, I had a great 24th! =)

P.S. Am waiting EAGERLY for part 2 of the berry surprise!

[missing vertebrate]

Alas, after 4 doctors and plenty of x-rays...I finally got an answer as to why my back has been killing me, and will probably do so for a long time to come (boo). I apparently have 4 lumbar vertebrates instead of the usual 5...so my poor lower back is working overtime. I found it pretty amusing actually...almost laughed out..my initial reaction was "oopsie something's missing". haha. I think I'm going a bit wonky with all the stress. Jumping from doc to doc n not finding a solution. And worse still having doctors who don't believe I'm in terrible pain and say that i CLAIM to have the pain or that I just have to live with it since I've been living with it for the past 5 yrs. Like seriously, just cos I've been living with it doesn't mean I get immune to the pain or something. And I'd think looking for second/third/fourth opinions wld actually imply I need some relieve but apparently they fail to see that point. I think doctors should have a "how to treat patients nicely" module in their curriculum, or a guideline that says "don't make patients lose hope juz cos u can't do anything for them" one.

Oh well..a little bio for those who have no idea what I'm talking abt..enjoy the diagram haha. I guess I'll have to stick to drugging myself with painkillers that don't actually work and tossing and turning at night to find a comfortable position to sleep. But I could use this as an excuse to go for more massages; swedish, thai, javanese, the works hehe. I should shower more love to my dearest four lumbars who've been working overtime for me :P And of course, I wanna thank my sweetheart flo for looking after me so well the other day when I could hardly walk. Thank god she followed me to the clinic or else I wldn't have survived the journey home alone. Love u loads babe. Muak! (hope this ain't too emo for the lot of u who read this heh)

[solitary in the spotlight]

Untrusting but gullible. The sociable recluse. Contradicting eh?

I went for a gathering on Sat night at the wine company (no i wasn't drinking). I didn't really wanna go but since my friends were pretty eager abt me attending, i tagged along. It was err.. a bit dull for me cos I didn't feel like mingling with the crowd, and not that I usually do. It didn't help that I hardly knew anyone in the crowd. It was funny that the girl sitting at our table asked me why I wasn't mingling, then she admitted she wasn't much of a "mingler" herself heh. The ironic part was that I was sitting in a very conspicuous spot, directly in the line of the spotlight. As the night went by, I had several ppl coming up to me and asking me why I was just sitting there..tsk tsk..I cleverly replied that I was waiting for ppl to come to the gal in the spotlight. Tho that didn't happen...much... But ok lah...I enjoyed the company, and the few conversations I had were meaningful. Wine anyone?

[I don't do boy presents]

Had a busy weekend (ok what's new..). On Sat, went out with my colleagues to watch Greece at the OmniMax. We were so enthusiastic..or at least AL was...that when we entered the theatre close to 10 am (yup early indeed..), we were the only ones there. For a moment we thought they'd be screening the movie just for us, then a few more ppl trickled in. I had to limp the way back to jurong east central cos my sandal strap broke (clumsy me!) and GH's plaster cldn't hold it...pretty embarrassing...but luckily it was just them. I mean, like luckily I wasn't out on a date or anything when it happened... Grabbed a pair of sandals from the first shoe shop we saw then went for lunch. Had a fantastic day, complete with star-gazing and all =)

Sunday..hmm..was half an hour late meeting ery. Was supposed to get her a b'day prezzie. She was pretty fickle abt what she wanted, but at least we didn't spend that long shopping. Then I met up with a friend to pass her some CD's...was nice to catch up. I lost Ery half way...so err I guess we decided to go our separate ways. Was thinking of what to get Andrew for his b'day but I didn't know what was suitable...male colleague, close but not close, and the worst part is that I realised I hardly buy prezzies for guys. (Ok I guess Y was an exception...but that was easy...he was my bf...he had to like whatever I got him...haha...plus I didn't have to worry whether the gifts wld be too personal.) Anyway I settled for a Nike cap...yeah...I like it. I hope I don't have to do boy prezzie shopping again anytime soon...big headache...and I usually prefer getting cute stuff!

[Life's worth the little things like when...]

1. Your sister tugs at the bedsheet and makes sure ur legs are fully covered.

2. Your ex-student calls you to tell you he's made it and he wants you to continue teaching him.

3. You're being wooed ;)

Hee =)

[question]

when ur friend doesn't accept u for who u are, is that still a friend?

[Tourist for a day]

Two Singaporean ladies were spotted this weekend disguising as tourists. Born and bred on the island, the sisters were on a weekend getaway at Conrad Centennial Hotel on a promotional offer. We caught up with them in their 15th storey room overlooking the Fountain of Wealth.

"We wanted a break and since we heard about this offer, we thought why not give it a try. So far, we've been shopping at Suntec City and we just returned from viewing the colourful light display at the world's largest fountain," commented the girls, who were trying hard to spot a half-baked English accent.

Princess, 23, and Precious, 16, [names have been concealed to protect identity] were impressed by the excellent service provided in the grand hotel - from a luxurious bedroom complete with a mini-bar and iron board, to a spacious bathroom with a bathtub and shower facilities (and a rubber duckie!) and even greetings from the chambermaid as they walked along the corridoor. Our inspection of the vicinity revealed that there were not many guests staying at the hotel. In fact, other than the few Japanese and Caucasian tourists, many seemed to be locals probably taking advantage of the promotion too. By 9pm, the place was so deserted that the sisters actually had the entire swimming pool to themselves! The buffet breakfast was served by friendly waiters eagerly refilling half-drunk drinks and clearing plates promptly.

When asked if they enjoyed their stay, the sisters instantly replied, "It was worth every penny. It was nice being a tourist for a day, being treated with brilliant service and we'd consider doing something like this again."

P.S. They were reluctant to check out. When they returned home, Princess realised she left behind her new swimming suit in the bathroom. Tsk tsk.

[I want to snooze...for a week...]

Ok, maybe for just a day. I had a terribly busy week last week. Didn't go home directly after work every single day. What was I up to?

Mon: Was supposed to collect my new editing assignment from Mel, but it wasn't ready. So since I had the car, brought Mum (+Jam+Flo) to check out laptops at Courts. It was our shortest shopping trip ever. I think it lasted for less than 30 seconds cos the range was so limited and the prices high. Dinner took longer...about an hour or so. It was really fun b'cos we were crapping and having a really good time. The waiter was pretty impressive...he remembered all our orders without writing anything down, right down to our individual drinks. Cool. After dinner, we picked Auntie up from work - poor Flo was trapped between my mum and aunt...it was really chaotic in the car till I had to make an effort to switch them off so that I could concentrate on the road. Hope flo didn't get scared by the loud bunch that we are!

Tues: Our last Swedish lesson, for now. Cecilia was late returning from her Swedish National Day celebrations and she locked herself out. So we had our lesson by the pool side, al-fresco. It was a convenient setting bcos we were doing conversations anyway. I was having a splitting headache and it really didn't help. I kept forgetting words and saying the wrong thing till Cecilia made me repeat my sentence and I was like...err I forgot what I said. Lol. Not a nice way to end this batch of lessons. We're such enthusiastic students that we'll be meeting up at Gina's place tmr for a Swedish movie with a Swedish dinner (bless her for being such a gracious host). We get to meet Toby too! Her 7 mth old kid. Perhaps he'll blabber to us in Swedish!

Wed: Open mic session at the Library@Esplanade to support Mel's friend. Was glad we went. The first artist, Andrea Hamilton, is really talented. All she had a guitar and a mike (and a keyboard later) and yet her performance was incredible. Hope to catch her again on the 21st. Check out www.andreahamiltononline.com for some of her mp3's. Mel's friend was pretty good too, esp his rendition of Goo Goo Dolls' Iris. Looking forward to hearing him play for us. Mel..organise a get-together so that we can swoon at his music!

Thur: Gym. Where I got really pissed. This is why:

1) Had I not gone to find out how many training sessions I had left, no one wld've told me that my stupid trainer is no longer working there.

2) My stupid trainer is no longer working there. He got caught freelancing during working hours (how ironic, esp after he warned me not to bring my own trainer), had to make a choice btw working at cali and freelancing and I guess he decided the latter pays better.

3) They made me wait so long just to engage a fitness consultant to entertain me. Once when I just arrived, once after I had done my warm up on the treadmill, and they finally paged for the consultant as I was abt to leave. Great service. Remind me what the high membership fees are for again?

4) Fitness consultant pisses me off by saying he needs my plane ticket to verify that I was out of town. Who keeps plane tix tt are 4 mths old? wtf. Plus I already submitted it the wk after I came back. And I already submitted a letter from my head of dept abt my absence AND received a confirmation from cali that my membership had been suspended. He still had the nerve to ask me if I wanted more training after my sessions finished! Well, even tho they're assigning me a senior trainer (I really wonder if that means better service) I told him I was unimpressed by the service so far so there's no way I'm gonna continue.

Fri: Celebrated GH's b'day with AL. She insisted on a surprise so we didn't tell her where we were going. First we went to Thai Express at CityLink. The food there was pretty good. But the Phat Thai noodles I had in BKK was nicer. Went to Max Brenner's 2nd time this wk (1st time on Tues), and that really surprised GH. She's been wanting to go there for a really long time so I guess my suggestion to go there was a good idea. Yay. We walked ard to lose (a few) calories then sat and gossipped..and talked abt relationships. At the end of the day, the qs remaining was: are all guys poor communicators? Anyone care to enlighten us? Quick..before AL gives up on her man...

Sat: Went to see Sue and friends with jam n saki. Sue's a t-rex btw, or at least what's left of a t-rex. I must've not been to the Science Centre for a long time cos I don't remember so many exhibits there. The place looks pretty spruced up, with lots and lots of interesting and colourful exhibits, one experiment after another (tho not all always worked.) Some of the displays were pretty stimulating but then I think I've grown out of the place cos I was yawning a lot. (I guess it could also be bcos I slept late the night before). The simulator ride was pathetic; we didn't know what was going on cos the sound system was so bad. We just knew we were being tossed around left, right, centre. The OmniMax movie had a pretty lame storyline and the effects were nice but we were left quite dizzy after the show (I think jam's enthusiasm abt seeing the show for the first time turned into worry as she started feeling dizzy). The dino exhibit was pretty cool but I think the fossils were not that big (sorry but I saw bigger ones at the London Natural History Museum :P). I was pretty groggy by then so I skipped the dino simulator, which incidentally Jam and Saki said were much better than the first one. Bleah. Oh man, I sound grumpy. Ok ok it wasn't THAT bad...I had fun. Yes I did. We met mum n flo later on to go Sim Lim for more laptop hunting. They said I was too frank when I turned down a good offer by telling the salesman that I was fishing for prices to compare with a wholesaler contact I have. Ooops. Then again, I was caught off guard by his qs so I didn't have time to think up of a lie. tsk tsk. We had Chinese food for dinner then went home. I was dead tired but saki still had the energy to play with her new ipod so I went to sleep in my parents' room. Poor dad had to sleep on my bed hehe.

Sun: Was supp to be the day to rest at home. Instead, after finishing my editing work, I went to a health talk where I was totally bored. And to make things worse, miss annoying lady was there, but luckily she didn't bother me this time. I don't know, but I just get bad vibes from her so I better avoid her so that I can maintain my cool. I left the talk early so that I could go to gym. Then I realised I hadn't had lunch so the threadmill was really too much for me. I gave up after 12 mins and went on to do other stuff. Was pretty enthusiastic with the tummy crunching machines, felt pretty good after the workout. I finally tried the sauna but I didn't stay long. And then finally, got home, rested and relaxed during my well-deserved facial. Su came over to accompany Nad (her friend who does the facials) but I felt pretty bad cos I cldn't entertain her while I was having my facial. And they were keeping quiet so that I could doze off, but amidst saki's typing and printing, I don't think I went that deep into slumber.

I hope this week is less hectic. Today: straight home after work. Phew.

[My Latest Gadget]

I'm so so proud of my latest acquisition - a Canon PowerShot S3 IS. It's a digital SLR, 6 megapix, 12X optical zoom (beat that! and it's so light!), 360 degree view. Bought it at the PC Show at Suntec last Thur. I went off work earlier after asking my prof permission to "attend a function" :P. I fell in love with it pretty quickly but was wondering whether a) I should buy a slim and sleek one that my sis insisted on and b) whether I should spend abt $100 more than the slim and sleek one, which was anyway already (way) out of my budget. The Courts salesman was really enthusiastic, compared to the part-timers at the Canon booth who could just say "yes this is good" when we asked them for recommendations. They had pretty good free gifts, two 512MB SD cards, an SD card reader, a battery charger and a camera bag. I was casually mentioning tripods so the guy went to the store to "check" if there were any left (really lame sales tactic but I'm a sucker for free gifts anyway...). And when he said he'd include a tripod as well, I decided to buy the cam. Pretty good deal I think - all that for $849. I've been wanting an advanced camera, and I since this is the first time I can actually afford one, I really wanted to get it. Far was enticed by the camera too, what with her manual SLR which she took out to "impress" the guy with, so she bought one too. It'll be really cool, now we can exchange tips on taking pics with the cam. And use it on our Hello Panda adventure. Whee!!

My sis was of course not happy when she saw the camera. She was fuming when she saw the picture on the box, and when she opened it, she was like, "what?? so big??? i wanted one that could fit in my handbag!" I told her I'll repair the temperamental Fuji one and give to her. tsk tsk. Looking forward to taking great shots with my cam. Should play around with it a bit so that I can shoot cool stuff on my nature walk this weekend.

[Men See You As Choosy]

Men notice you light years before you notice them. You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky. You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter. It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

oh dear...maybe that's why the men aren't picking me.

[Pretty In Pink]

I had so much fun last Sun. We organised a 'surprise' party for Far's b'day. It wasn't too surprising, but she was surprised anyway haha. Mel and I were very excited about the party (I think she lives for parties heh). It was pretty easy getting the gifts, cos we had a theme in mind. So everywhere we went were like, hey that's pink! and that's pink! :P

It was the first in a LONG time I had friends over cos well..I have a certain phobia abt it. And as if my worst fears were abt to come true, my bro was home the morning of the party. Luckily he left quickly (I suppose u can guess the cause of my phobia...).

Anyway, it was like 12.15 and I was getting worried cos we were supposed to gather at 12 for pre-party prep. The spaghetti sauce was ready, along with meatballs and fish fingers for not-so-seafoodtarian Min. Luckily Sakura was there to calm me down a bit; with her "oh well far will prob be late too"...to which I argued "but I don't think she'll be late for her own party" tsk tsk. Finally at 12.25 Az came and I was like phew! The balloons were all blown up but I wasn't sure how to hang them securely, so she helped till the expert (Mel) came. I panicked a bit cos I realised I hardly bought any deco (just the b'day banner). I guess I was so excited about the party poppers that I thought the banner and balloons were sufficient. Az busied herself with the pasta while I ran around perspiring, making sure everything was ok. Min came awhile later with the pretty pink cake, then Sam, whom I haven't met for ages. We were so efficiently rushing things that we actually had time to spare...sitting down waiting for far to come (was glad when her "is it ok if i'm late" msg came..haha). We looked like armed soldiers all ready for a strike, complete with poppers and sprayers in hand.

As in all parties, we had lots of food to eat. My guests enjoyed my spaghetti (yay!) and we were bloated even before dessert. The best part came after lunch when the gals sat Far down to a makeover session. Ok, I missed that part cos I was busy doing the dishes...but the finished product looked great. Far had problems reconciling her polished nails, let down hair and her femininity. Lol. Glad she was game enough to be put thru that tho!

After taking silly pics and chilling, we went off to watch Da Vinci code. That was part 2 of her celebration cos she kept hinting (very clearly I must add) that she wanted to watch it cos it was showing near her b'day heh. We had ice cream for dessert and then went off. I was pretty hyped by the everything, very glad that everyone enjoyed the party. The balloons are still up on the walls, anyone wanna burst them for me? I'll wait for them to grow tiny then take them off...don't want them to burst accidentally! (yes I'm scared of popping balloons...)

[You Are A Professional Girlfriend!]

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

[emotional rollercoasters]

why do we take ourselves on emotional rollercoasters? it seems we never learn our lesson.

my friend just told me yesterday that the guy she's liked for abt two years annouced (on a monday morning no less) he was going to the ROM on the eve of her b'day. And that's just a few months after he told her he got attached, in Feb this year while she was feeling lonesome in sthlm. Nice b'day prezzie. Just weeks before, she blocked him in msn so that she wouldn't have to chat with him and cause herself further heartbreak. Yet I assume she unblocked him to keep in touch.

And then there's me, who promised myself I would get over my eye candy once I came home. I was pretty wrong, obviously, feelings can't be controlled. And when I received an email from the person last wk, after a month of no response and after assuming I had simply been taken for a ride since I was lonesome in a foreign country, I was all bouncy and grinning again (and had to put poor Far thru an ordeal with my shrieking relentlessly, thank god, on msn.) I think I'm crushing rather than eye-candying, but I wonder what caused the progress. Steph said I'd probably take a while to get over it, cos there's always a fascination for someone/something that you can't get. Which totally sucks. Sigh. I hope she's not right, because as excited as I get over things, it hurts cos I'm not gonna get the person. Somebody slap me out of this phase!

We get heartbroken time and again, relationship after another. I'm not one who enters a relationship at some whim, so luckily I don't have a string of relationships to boast about. As much of a softie I am, I think I still feel with my head more than with my heart. And I don't think that's bad, afterall for a relationship to work, you gotta think about where it's going and whether there'll be a future in it. It's tiring searching for the one, because apparently the choices I have made so far have not led me to the right person, I think. And yet, at the back of everyone's mind, there's a yearning to find the one whom you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. And then you wonder, have I already met the person but let him/her slip away?

I hope I'm not getting too emo, I just need to figure out this thing called love.

[tHiS iS tHe LiFe}

I had an extremely relaxing long weekend. I was looking forward to a few days enjoying the sun, sand and sea at Batam. But on Tues the resort we were supposed to go to called up to say that they were shut down because of an emergency. I was quite disappointed and thought it was a sign that we should cancel the trip. But I was glad mum n Flo nudged me to go on, since we already had our ferry tix.

So instead of lots of sand, we stayed at Novotel near the city centre, where we couldn't see any sea view despite the description of the room on the website. It was relaxing indeed, we spent most of the time in our rooms - sleeping, watching tv, and err eating (not forgetting room service!). Flo wasn't up to going for water activities, which was a disappointment cos I really wanted to jet ski ever since going to Pattaya. But we settled for shopping instead and it was very therapeutic. Especially when things were so cheap, sandals for $3, t-shirts for $5, manicure and pedicure for $5 and $6 respectively (tho I think it was really minimal...just a foot soak, some brushing, nail trimming and no varnish finish), and our bombastic KFC meal which only cost $12. We had a very friendly limo driver, Henki, who despite his sputtering English, gave us an entertaining drive around town. He concluded that Flo was a tomboy and I was hitam-manis i.e. black sweet...err...a term to describe someone who is err..dark but pretty. I was quite taken aback at his assesment since I'm not that dark, but then again, he called me cantik (pretty) so I didn't mind haha. When we checked out, our bill came up to 2 million rupiah. Sounds a lot, haha, but actually it was only around $400, including the room charges and the limo service. We were so tired from that afternoon's shopping (and we slept at odd hours the night before) that we slept on the ferry ride home.

I took the day off and here I am blogging. I went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned and to my horror, the dentist said I needed many fillings (I always prided in myself that I only have one filling so far so I guess I broke an unwanted record). I'd better brush my teeth more often now, especially my problematic wisdom teeth which are so far back that I can't even see them. I had more retail therapy as I stopped by a couple of shops on my way back from the dentist. Bought a couple of sandals and a bag from Shop-In...dangerous how it is when things are so cheap u just keep adding them into your shopping cart. I really should spend the rest of the day tidying up my room. Then again, I think I shall get back to my bumming around now...perhaps watch a movie or two. Ah I wish this could last longer, and that I don't have to go to work tmr!

[love changes everything: how you live and how you die]

Ok the musical maniac in me watched another performance yesterday: Andrew Lloyd Webber's Aspects of Love. It was rated NC14 and Sakura was happy they didn't ask for her IC haha. I didn't really know what to expect cos there wasn't much publicity for the show. But the show was fantastic, and by our definition of a good musical, the theme song kept ringing in our heads after the show and first thing this morning lol. Sakura even managed to memorise part of the song after we downloaded it last night itself :P

If you wanna know what it's about, here's a little I snatched from Saki's blog (hey at least I'm referencing your masterpiece!):

The story's about this actress who falls in love with a soldier that's much younger than her, and then the actress falls in love with his uncle and gets married to him. The uncle (george), has an Italian mistress and the actress falls in love with her as well. So they form some kind of (sick, though undeniably practical) threesome. And not long later the actress and her husband has a daughter, Jenny, who eventually falls in love with the soldier(remember him?). Confused yet? I hope you are cos I was when I read the synopsis. But watching the musical itself made it all pretty clear. Their feelings were kind of screwed up cos everyone eventually fell in love with the soldier. But I LOVED IT!

Sakura was pretty thrilled by the kiss, cos she said she had never seen such a passionate kiss on stage before. The kiss between the two women was interesting too...but pretty harmless haha. After that we went for some retail therapy. We managed so snatch some money from dad (since afterall he's also been commenting that some of our clothes look pathetic) so I wasn't too worried about splurging. I got a couple of bras (finally got my front hook ones!!) and a blouse which I didn't even bother trying on (and still haven't). Sakura was pretty satisfied with her loot too...some undies, a bag and a tshirt.

I went down to AWARE today for a (pre) mother's day talk. I was getting quite impatient cos they started abt 20 mins late. It was ok initially but got a bit draggy (3 hrs is way too long for a forum that is not very structured). Nonetheless I got to know more people and who knows, I might volunteer there some time. After the talk I went to the Substation for a monologue. Someone whom I haven't even met asked me to come along (saying that since my profile said I liked theatre) so I was like why not. It was an interesting experience - I've never watched a monologue and it's been ages since I've done my part for the local art scene. I'd have stayed for a coffee after the show but I was having a headache so both of us grabbed a cab back.

After the hectic weekend, I wish I didn't have to go back to work tmr :(

[conversations]

Was just observing some conversations today...such contrasts...

In the computer lab:

"Eh you ever wondered ah, when you shit in the plane where the shit go? Is it drop through the sky..then imagine land on ur head like kena bird dropping..hahaha"

GROSS!

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After lunch small talk with cleaner, everyday:

"Adik, dah makan?" (translated: little sis, have you eaten?)

"Dah..cik dah makan?" (yes...uncle eaten?)

Silence...

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Email from an English lady:

"In any even vaguely sensible world, plans to travel and leisure for today would be postponed in favour of a spot of tidying up, a long-overdue polish of the silver, and maybe a vigorous bout of scrabble. However, the position here is not sensible, it's bureacratic - so leave this city-state we must. Therefore, it is with regret that I withdraw my offer to meet you tonight - DANG."

I'm still trying to figure out what she means...

[DaNcE ThErApY]

I went for a gathering with a women's group on saturday and instead of the usual discussions they hold, it was a dance therapy session. It was pretty cool. I was hesitant to go at first cos I was alone. But I was glad I went, and more glad I went alone. The 'therapy' was quite unusual...requiring us to express ourselves through dance, and I think I would've felt much more self conscious if I had been there with friends. There were 3 friends there who kept giggling to one another instead of dancing. I guess it was something out of the box, but it was interesting. I can dance! Woo. Haha.

After that, the girls were asking around what was our next plan..I said home and they were all like "what? on a saturday night?" haha. I guess I'm not a party on saturday night person. But they managed to convince me to join them for a drink at a bar. There was a brit lady here on vacation and she thought we should support one of the girls (who owns the bar) so we headed down to tg pagar.

The ppl there were pretty friendly, tho I spent most of the time talking with Suz. She had to go home to get some stuff done so I decided to leave early with her (knowing what a big task socialising with the crowd wld be for me lol). Was quite sweet of her to send me home, having already treated me to a drink. For an expat, she knew the roads much better than me...I kept going blank whenever she asked me which way to go...that's why I always arrange meet early when I'm driving...to give me time to get lost first and evetually find a place haha. We reached clementi anyway..and that was the only time I was confident abt giving her directions lol.

I pretty much wasted my Sunday. Then again I was having a terrible headache so I spent most of it sleeping. At least I cooked chicken curry which my sis has been longing for (ever since my dad started cooking now and then, it's always been sambal cos it's easy). I tried cooking lasagne again today but the top was still hard..darn..I have to perfect it before my next potluck...any tips anyone??