[Phase 1: My Purple Room]

I am so freaking tired. Zonked out. If it weren't for the fact that I had a lot of work to do yesterday, I'd have dozed out in office.

It was worth it though. I now have the purple room I've always wanted. Yay! Ok well my current room was supposed to be purple but the paint turned out too light that it looked pink in the end. Actually when I opened the can, I thought the purple would be too light again, but luckily after the paint dried n stuff...it had the hue I wanted. Yay! So yes..purple purple. Lol. The tiredness must be getting to me. Anyways as I was saying, I'm so tired cos I painted the room. Dad helped me with the first coat. After which I realised he wasn't a very good painter - there were drips of paint ALONG the wall, and the edges he did with the small paintbrush looked very messy. Arghh. But well, beggars can't be choosers; I had to make do with his help since Saki refused to help and Flo..well..isn't into painting...and the friend that offered to help..well..I was hesitant to ask for her help tsk tsk. Thanks papa!

He insisted the room was good enough without a second coat...but yikes..really..even if I wasn't the perfectionist that I am, it really DID need another coat. There was still traces of the yellow layer cos I didn't do a white coating first. So yeah, I was left to struggle with the second coating by myself. Top edges, bottom edges, 4 walls. I had to be very thrifty with the paint cos I was scared it was gonna finish...didn't know one 5L can of paint was only enough for one room! I did the second coat by priority of walls that ppl would see..which meant that the one which would be covered by my new wardrobe was done last. I was so enthusiastic about making the room nice and clean that after painting, I scrubbed the built in shelves tho it didn't help much...they really need a new layer of lining...which I intend to DIY myself. Hope it turns out nice! After mopping the room twice I was totally drained, papa had to come and stop me from doing more damage to myself haha.

I intend to use complementary colours for my deco. Which means I'll be choosing dark yellow and cyan for the clock, table lamp, whatever. My first time at decorating a room all by myself. Can't wait to see the finished product...it looks great in my mind haha.

Will upload a pic of my purple room when I get home.

Phase 0: Getting rid of old furniture.
Phase 2: Wardrobe comes next weekend. Whee!

[my fair ladies]

Had a brilliant time on Saturday hanging out with my jc pals. You rawk! We hadn't met up in a while, so thanks Yanyi for organising it! I must say the turnout was great. We've never had 10 ppl turn up for one gathering at a go. Flo n I'd been out for a talk that afternoon, and since she never has trouble mingling, I grabbed her along. The girls loved her and she was one of us in no time. We had to wait pretty long outside the restaurant. Partly cos we were a big group and partly cos there was a group of inconsiderate diners who refused to get their butts up altho they were done. Ruth wanted to wrestle with Mag near the window where they were sitting, so that they cld grab the group's attention...in the hope that they'll come out and watch the show. Obviously that ostentatious display never happened and we only got in after about 45 mins of waiting.

It was really fun crapping with the gals. Nice to know that after however many years it's been (I'm too lazy to count right now), we haven't changed much. YY is still our "mummy" - relentlessly cutting up Yanyi's b'day cake for us, Ruth still..ahem..jumps around like a mad monkey entertaining us with her lame jokes and hilarious antiques (which Flo is still trying to get used to lol) and Su is still the one who keeps us sane. SJ has acquired a British accent after teaching piano at an English school..that was pretty strange..but other than that, not much changes. Oh and might I add she's getting married end of this year. Congrats! Su will be getting married in July. Wee, happy for my friends. But yes, please don't ask me when I'm getting married. Cos I ain't searching for grooms heh. Looking forward to meeting u gals again for our karaoke session during CNY. See ya!

[The rain in spain stays mainly in the plain]

The rain in spain stays mainly in the plain.
In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire... Hurricanes hardly happen.

Trivia for today: If you're not sure of what to talk about, bring up the weather. haha. I caught My Fair Lady with my sis last Wed. I was so frenzied cos I had to drive home after work since dad needed the car...and when I reached home 15 mins later than planned, I found sakura still sleeping! Arghh. By the time we reached City Hall, we didn't have time for dinner so I had a miserable polar puff pastry and she a sandwich from 7-11. Not so bad lah, at least we managed to smuggle in our green tea instead of buying the $5 juices they sell at the theatre. I always get thirsty in an air-con room.

The musical was entertaining...and the dialogue was perfect...funny and upper-classy...and of course, in an accent I love. The costumes were pretty too...but too bad I was in circle 2 so I couldn't admire the actors more closely (sis said there was a handsome guy in a cap, according to her friend, who was worth ogling at haha). The play was about an unrefined, cockney flower girl turning into a lady presentable enough for high society. A wager taken on by a misogynistic and snobbish phonetics professor, Henry Higgins. But when Higgins takes all the credit and forgets to acknowledge her efforts, Eliza angrily leaves him for Freddy, and suddenly Higgins realizes he's grown accustomed to her face and can't really live without it. Higgins was quite an arse in the way he treated Eliza; no wonder Mrs Higgins asked Eliza how she'd managed to learn manners with him around. It was probably Mr Pickering (an ambiguously gay character) that helped her in the transition - he was a gentleman indeed.

We were both quite disappointed with the transition of Eliza Doolittle into a "dutchess". It was so swift and they only kept making Eliza repeat the lines above until she could say it in refined English. And ta-da...one fine day she could say it perfectly n then she suddenly had all the manners of a dutchess. Sakura n I tot it wld've been better to show her "training" to become a lady with fine manners. Learning to walk while balancing books on her head or learning not to snort. Then we decided we probably wanted it that way cos we've been watching too much of Princess Diaries haha. Just shows how much Hollywood ideas have been engrained into us!

The songs were not that catchy though (none rang in my head), and certain parts were slightly draggy. And coupled with the fact that we were pretty tired (no more weekday shows for me), both of us were struggling to stay awake. We had a gruesome long wait for the bus after the show. We wanted to go to Marina Square for a more filling dinner but all the restaurants there were closed..even Mac's..dang (I thought they were all open 24 hours??). Then as we walked back to the bus stop, 106 just left so we had to wait for another 20 mins before the next one came. I was already famished and Sakura really tired and anxious about her Econs test the next day (what timing!) that by the time we got to Clementi, we just grabbed some food and took a cab home. I'd like to watch the movie some time though, when I'm not so sleepy.

[when u are really in love...]

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e- mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you cannot avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

[i need to s-p-l-i-t myself]

Have you ever encountered a day on which there are so many things going on, you have to choose what to attend? 27th Jan seems like that day to me.

I have a:

1. wedding dinner which I must attend upon my father's insistence cos it's a "close relative" (seriously, I dun feel close to anyone on his side),
2. glamour shots photography session together with flo (wee I'm finally getting one done!),
3. women's talk - I really wanna attend cos I wanna meet one of the speakers who's a prof in NUS,
4. HDB heartware feedback session - no I've never really been one to care abt what goes on in our heartland..but since I've been [honorably] invited, I thought it might be interesting...can complain abt the lack of activities in our RC as my dad put it haha

Unfortunately I've committed to the wedding dinner, so I can't go for the women's talk. And the photography session is definitely gonna be much more FUN than the HDB talk..so no prizes to guess which one I'll be attending :P

[happy new year]

2006 ended beautifully for me. I'm not much of a what-did-i-do-this-year reminiscer but I have to say, it's been a really eventful one for me. Time passed by so fast (yeah what's new?)...2 months in Sweden...gosh that seemed like eons ago, getting my own office space, being thrown lots of responsibility at work. And of course there's relationships...Ups and downs...Downs and ups. A heartbreak or two, a crush and more. Got myself into such an emotional turmoil which wasn't worth it at all. I'd say I've definitely learnt a ton more about friendships and relationships. And yes, the four letter word...L.O.V.E.

I had a very good christmas celebration too. Not that I celebrate it, but Flo invited me over to her mum's place for x'mas dinner. The highlight was the gift exchange. Although it wasn't much of an exchange cos I had no idea everyone had gotten me stuff and I hadn't gotten them any! *paiseh* I received a t-shirt and a belt and an osim massage pen from mum n bf. was incredible! exactly what i wanted to fill my wardrobe with and i got them as a gift. the osim pen is quite fun...tho i haven't gotten used to it vibrating on my head. ok ok i know i can put the pen to vibrate in my hands..or some other anatomy...but somehow i just picture it being used as a headache curing device lol. the ironic thing was that months back when i found out osim had a massage pen..i was like..who the heck would use that??!! hahaha. amy gave me a solar-powered bobbing head thingy which i put in the car to accompany the one flo gave me. what are the odds man...flo was just saying she wanted to get the figurine a buddy...so amy was surprised why i was so happy with it heh. taking into account that i'm terrible at receiving prezzies (i always feel like i dun deserve them...except if it's an occasion like my b'day of course..haha), i was feeling quite overwhelmed...and very touched of course. Shall start making a list of what to get them for christmas this year heh.

On New Year's Day, as we got out of the flat to go out, there were two beautiful rainbows in the sky. The outer one was a bit faded, but the inner one was lovely. The colours were so vivid, unlike the faded ones I've seen so far. And it was so huge...spanning well...a huge distance. here's wishing u a bright n cheery year ahead!

[blackout at #09-**]

A torchlight would've been useful - if it had batteries! So came our mobile phones..which gave us the light we needed to grope around the circuit board in the store room. Thank you technology.

We had a power trip in our house yesterday. At first I thought it was my dad switching off the light without knowing I was in the toilet...so I was wailing "I'm in the toilet! Don't off the light!!" Then I heard my sis scurrying out of the room so I thought..yay something exciting's happening in our estate (re: recent blackouts in sg) but well..not as close. I had turned on mum's computer earlier and it refused to start. Then when I entered the room, it smelt like burnt wire - so I figured something must've short circuited there n tripped the power. I guess this is what happens when u dun listen to the expert who says that your power socket is overloaded. Tsk tsk. We tried plugging in the multiple sockets thingy (gosh i realise i dun have a word for this gadget...) and each time the whole house was in darkness. So yeah - only the modem and the router are plugged in now.

Back to queueing for the pc. I hope school starts soon so that I can scamper to the comp before sakura does hehe.

[emo]

been feeling quite emo lately. small things made me tear, like when

1. charlotte (charlotte's web) died then her babies flew away instead of staying in the barn to accompany wilbur

2. i had to say goodnite after sending flo home

3. my doc cldn't find my past records

Dunno wat's happening to me..PMS? I hope...

[Naruwan]

That's welcome to Taiwan in aborigine language.

I'm back I'm back! Had an awesome time in Taipei, as I always make it a point to when I travel. Heh. It was so good that I even enjoyed the biostats workshops we had to attend (main purpose of the trip actually). It was a pretty good revision of what we'd already learnt so it was fun actually knowing what the lecturers were talking about, and even being able to explain it to my colleagues. p-values n more..bring it on!

I did pretty much everything I wanted to do. Visited the night market and Ximending with the ladies on our first couple of days there. We even skipped our not-so-formal formal dinner on the second night to see the world's tallest building (for now) - Taipei 101. We got by with our minimal knowledge of Mandarin...even managed to converse a little with those who spoke not much English (with a bit of comedy of course!)

I did the must sees like the Sun Yat Sen and Cheang Kai Shek memorial halls, National Palace Museum and even the Aborigine museum (left out by many tourists...I went there cos I have a soft spot for natives who have been driven out from their own land..must go there next time to visit their tribes...).

Then there was the nature part - Taroko Gorge (Hualien), Northern coast tour (Keelung Harbour and Yehliu Scenic Area), Northeastern coast tour (Nanya Rock Formations, Bay of Two Colors, Chiufen (aborigine) Village), and Yangmingshan National Park with the hot spring baths. The views were just AMAZING. I remember touching down in Hualien and the backdrop from the airport was moutains. What a lovely spot. Taroko Gorge was beautiful beyond belief...I'm so jealous that we're so deprived of natural sceneries here. If any of you decide that you need a soothing place to meditate, that's definitely the place to go. I would have spent hours just listening to the waters flowing and admiring the rocks if I hadn't been on a guided tour.

There were pretty interesting rock formations at Yehliu. Queen's head, elephant head, fairy's shoe..what have you. Some needed some imagination to be deciphered lol. I also managed to captivate a Korean's heart...he was trying so hard to buaya me...even asked me to attend a workshop in Seoul so that I could visit him! Tsk tsk. He was saying I was beautiful and smart and blah blah then our tour guide (thankfully) burst his bubble by saying that I'm Muslim so can only marry Muslim. Muahaha. I could swear poor Mr Korean guy became more quiet after that. He even got me to take a pic for him on my cam so that I can email it to him...was a tactic just to get my contact after I disappointed him abt not having a name card..haha.

I had loads of fun taking all sorts of pictures..now that I know my cam a little better. I was in a pretty trigger happy mood (till I pissed Sugi off haha) especially in the scenic areas, and I'm pretty happy with the shots I got. I also got to meet Winnie, one of my online friends from m'sia who's studying there. She brought me on my first motorbike ride ever..I was nervous and first..but it turned out to be really thrilling. Wanted her to go faster lol. That was half my butch fantasy fulfilled lol. She brought me to Shihlin Night Market..and we realised neither of us are big shoppers so we ended up spending on food instead. It was a pity we couldn't meet on Fri...cos we forgot to take pics tog. Hope we meet again in future :)

Taiwan's a beautiful country. I'm pretty sure I wanna return there to explore more. For now I shall get back to admiring the scenery... Check out more pics here!

[to love or not to love]

Got this from a Ruth's blog:

What will you do if you face a situation where you love 2 people. Person A loves you madly but person B likes you (not sure madly) and you love person B madly but guilty of leaving person A?

A couple of other things came to mind:
Do you think it's alright if in a relationship A loves B more than B loves A? Should B feel guilty for not loving A equally? Are we able to define how much is equal love?

Comments anyone?

[for M&M]

Ben & Jerry's performance

Far in her element

The Band

[view from the top]

I've been doing a lot of impulsive shopping lately - altho' it hasn't seem to be working in making me undepressed. Anyway Fri's one was the best so far. After dinner with ruth, yun n ester (and a crazy chat about boys n dates and even porn!), the girls brought me shopping. They suggested going clubbing so I said I wasn't in a sexy enough outfit, so they didn't let me out of IORA till I bought something haha. I was really about to give up cos I either didn't really like the tops or they were too sexy or didn't fit well. Then finally the salesgirl picked out something "retro" for me and voila..we could go clubbing now. It was hilarious cos I've never done such impulsive shopping - and literally buying and wearing the top immediately. But it was damn fun..you gals are the best! Must do more shopping n crazy stuff with u all heh.

We went to New Asia bar after that - at the 70th storey of Raffles City. The view was amazing and the music was really good too. Saw ruth n ester flaunt a bit of their dancing skills, then I decided to join in the fun. I think we were among the tamest there...but had loads of fun anyway! Here's some pics!

[a tale of love and desire]

I caught Notre Dame De Paris last Saturday with Sakura. And of my criteria for a good musical, the overture was left ringing in my head after the show...so yes..it was good haha. I was a bit hasty in buying the tickets - was happy with the 20% UOB card discount, but now NTUC is offering 30% discount for members..grr. No fair no fair. I burnt a hole in my (August) pocket, but I guess it was worth it...wouldn't get good seats if I buy tix now.

It was a lovely musical with lots of grandeur. I managed to read thru the summary of the classic by Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Pardon me but I'm not good in my classics so I needed a little refreshing abt what the story was about. Even after reading the summary I got a bit confused during the show tsk tsk. Good thing I had Sakura (tho she was hoping I'd tell her what the story was abt...I guess we both didn't pay attn to our classics...) I don't usually enjoy sung-through musicals but this one didn't have silly lyrics like a couple I've watched before. The songs had some lame titles, but they transitioned with the story well and were very romantic - and combined with the ultimate language of romance, it was absolutely dreamy. It also made me realise I've forgotten all my French..cos I kept translating things into Swedish lol. Wrong language!!

The show had a lot of acrobatics - rapelling down walls, somersaults and break dances. Needless to say it was very lively. My favourite scene was when the bells of the cathedral hung down from above...two small ones and a big one in the centre. And there were actors doing stunts and dancing off the bells - the synchronised swinging was really impressive. I also liked the part where they had some "angels" hanging down (sakura thinks they represet the dead Esmeralda tho..) and when the "lifeless" bodies came to live..they started dancing so gracefully. It was almost as if they were really floating in the air. My only complaint was that they could've chosen a better Esmeralda, since in the story she's someone who's really captivating. Oh and they could've added a few of her sexy dances which mesmerised the men...haha.

We had somewhat of a bonus too. At the end of the show, after the standing ovations they received, the main character sang the overture alone at first, then followed with the rest of the cast and music. I love the song!! Too bad I don't understand the lyrics, or rather know what the heck he's saying. Sounds good anyway. I thought it was a very French thing to do; to give an encore...but well, they invented the word didn't they? Haha. If any of you sweeties ever come across the lyrics to the theme song, or have a budding talent for deciphering French songs, please fill me in!

**runs away humming..."The time of the cathedrals has come..."**

P.S. I bought the DVD so if any of u wanna watch it on tv, feel free!

Temps de Catedral Encore


Temps de Catedral

[in the name of the law]

Was discussing some pretty intense topics during lunch today, like the difference in parenting laws in Singapore and Sweden. We were talking about how Sweden doesn't allow parents to lift a finger on kids, even when they're misbehaving. While most Asian parents, who still believe in using the rod, might snigger and say "ah that's why their kids turn out nasty", you can't help but wonder where to draw the line between labelling a parent who's disciplining his child, and one who is abusing the child.

My friend messaged me a couple of days ago at 3am in the morning to tell me she was in terrible pain. Why? Her father had just beaten her - again. All because she was caught smoking. A couple of months back, he hit her so bad that she had to go to the hospital to get an eye scan because her sight was affected during the battering. I asked whether she had made a police report and apparently she HAD to; since she had to be admitted. What was the outcome of that? Her father simply told the police he was disciplining his child so they dropped the matter.

I knew it would be pointless to ask if she would wanna report to the police about this early morning incident and her meagre response was that they'd just take her statement and leave it at that, and her father would probably tell them it was a family matter and she's be back at square one again. And this poor, small-built girl could only stay in bed, locked up in her room the whole day, contemplating if there would ever be a day she could escape.

Where does the law help in this instance? Isn't our dear law enforcement agency supposed to protect innocent victims even if it's a domestic matter? I remember the time my brother held my dad at knife point the whole night. They arrested him in the morning, but by afternoon they sent him back home. It's as if u're releasing ur potential killer back in your safe space..to give him another opportunity to attack perhaps? I could list a million and one things that the cops didn't help us do, like not helping us send him to IMH when he was getting violent, simply because they "did not have enough experience handling psychiatric patients". Are we supposed to have more experience than them? What were we supposed to do then? Wrap him up in a little box and send him in the car? Well if we could've fitted him in nicely, we wouldn't have asked them for help. Will my friend only be rescued the day she's unable to be dragged back home by her father?

That wasn't the only issue that came to mind. My friend also mentioned that her father was "discplining" her in the name of religion. She's presumably too wild for his liking, and should learn to be a better little Muslim girl - I suppose one who conforms to his every demands. While I can't say much about her behaviour, I still believe that no matter how nasty your child is, a parent has no right to abuse her so violently. If smoking were a reason to beat up your child, I think a lot more people should be bashed up by now. What happened to rational talking? If he wants to talk religion, didn't the Prophet preach non-violence? Is he being a good Muslim by instilling so much fear in his family, to the point where the girl's own mother no longer dares to protect her from his beatings? To the point where she really cannot run away from home because there's always a way he's gonna track her down. And to the point where she no longer has any self-esteem and is unable to love herself truly.

There's a few things she could do; like seriously consider running to a relative's place or a women's shelter, or getting a personal protection order. Report to the police..let her statements pile up. And when the time comes, throw all the reports in his face and show him how nasty he's been. It's easier said and done, and I would know how she's feeling. Lost. With no one to help you. Stuck. Not knowing what to do next. She told me her father said the only way she could get out of the house was through a marriage contract. I seriously pray she'll consider the former options. For now I can only be a listening ear.

[seafood weekend]

dear diary, i'm writing to confess that i pigged out during the weekend. it was food food food, and the theme was seafood. my partner in crime was flo, and we started our indulgence on friday to celebrate her birthday. (Happy 25th dearie!) We went to Faber Rock at Mount faber which had an alfresco style dining area overlooking the cable cars and Sentosa. Unfortunately, we couldn't see much of Sentosa cos of the haze, and the service sucked. The buffet was worth it tho..$38++ and we ate lots n lots of bbq-ed prawns, beef, satay and lamb (we got to pick what we wanted to have bbq-ed..that was fun...picking out lots n lots of prawns to get our dollar's worth haha). The dessert wasn't really good...hmm...I think the place scores much better on presentation than anything else. The ambience was perfectly romantic, candle light and all. Ahh..wish we could be there the whole night. We had much more important things to do though, like go for a drive and tuck into bed. Skipped Mt Faber Park cos flo's afraid of the dark..so that shall be our next day time agenda. ;)

Sat was a bit of an adventure. Was running aroud planning Flo's surprise. She went over to Auntie's place so I could sneak out of her place and get her b'day cake. Was a little late in fetching her...between my lie about being at the car wash and her worrying abt what time I was gonna pick her up, I was glad she didn't have a clue what I was up to. We went over to our friend's house for raya...then i crept back down to the car to get the cake. Luckily I grabbed one of sha's friends to accompany me..needed the moral support haha. We sneaked the cake in, lit the candles, and finally brought it out. I think the cream was slightly melted..but well..the best I could do. Next time I'll just ask sha to buy cake for me heh. Flo was pretty surprised...was glad it worked. :P We chilled out for awhile, eating the Tiramisu (yum yum), some kuih, then headed home. We wanted more seafood at Fisherman's Village but the food centre was closed so we bought stuff at woodlands. Our second pig-out session, chilli n black pepper crabs, tom yam soup (that I finally enjoy), chilli kang kong and sting ray. Great food, even greater that flo was peeling much of the crabs for me. Haha. Yeah, I know I'm spoilt. Tsk tsk. We bought so much that we had leftovers for today. Why do u think I'm feeling guilty??

What did we eat today eh? Oh yeah, lunch at causeway point. Well that wasn't too big..which is good. I went to make new glasses cos my old pair disappeared after my starlight movie at the padang. And now that I'm attending classes, I have a dire need for a new pair. I bought a pair of transitions lenses...can't wait to try them out next week! Would be really useful for driving n stuff. Erm..not that I use my specs that much...

After all that eating, I'm left with no dinner now. So I resorted to frozen pizza...and had one whole piece...but I'm still not full. Had some choc chip ice cream cos sakura wanted a partner in crime. I guess I should stop eating since I'm feeling pretty guilty already..and also so that I don't put on double the weight I lost during fasting month. Guess I should turn in early, before I reach for the fridge again. Good night!

[time to lepak]

Been pretty zoned out and exhausted lately...with my mind-f***king over issues which are beyond my control. Was off on Thur cos of a tension headache n puking, and the nausea and throbbing hasn't really gone away. Sigh. It was good that I didn't have to spend the weekend alone, would've been disastrous for my poor little overworked mind.

Had a great time meeting up with my buddies over the weekend. Sat nite was pretty wild...my friend n I drove to Seletar reservoir just for the sake of it. We sat by the rocks and tried to gaze into the horizon...but the PSI was 52, so we couldn't gaze very far. The golf course looked nice from where we were sitting, so instead of natural greenery, we admired the neatly planted trees and bright green grass, talking abt the shit that's been happening ard us. I felt like I was in limbo world, my mind preoccupied with questions questions and more questions, ones that I couldn't solve. I was crazy enough to let my friend try driving the car...I think she kinda got the hang of it after awhile. For the rest of the night, I think I worried the hell out of another friend. Sorry.

Sunday was much more chirpier. Went to meet Yun to have a little b'day lunch with her. She gave me a (very) belated b'day prezzie..but hey, better late than never! I gave her the camisole I got her from Victoria's Secret and she couldn't help but peek into the bag..haha. She was too shy to take it out tsk tsk...must tell me when u try it on!! Better yet, show me a pic. haha. We talked for a couple of hours, catching up on a lot of stuff. Then I got a call from my "parole officer" to see if I was behaving myself..lol. Yes yes, I'm only drinking fruit juice :P. We walked ard Heeren a bit then I went off to meet the Hello Pandas at the Toy Museum cafe.

Happy b'day Mel =) Hope u had fun! I always do when I'm out with u guys. N Min, thanks for consoling me..what u said makes sense...*sobz*...will patiently wait to heal. I think by dinner my headache n nausea was back so I could hardly eat the Parmesan Crusted Chicken with Basil which was pretty good. The waitress was abt to clear my plate when Lionel n Mel asked for it back and ended up eating my leftovers haha. Desert was good tho, after lying down awhile on the huge comfy sofa I felt a little better. But then again, chocolate always makes me feel better ;) We crapped n crapped till we certified ourselves as unwanted (noisy) guests...but who cares..we had loads of fun! Min n bf were busy..ahem..interacting...I think they hardly noticed the nonsense we were up to. We made full use of our couch reservation and went home only a couple of hours later. Felt really good to luagh out loud with the gang. Let's meet up again soon!

[raya was good]

Hari Raya was a pretty peaceful occasion this year. Uneventful. Yes, uneventful = good, at least in our house. Sis n I relished the fact that we could be guests this year, which meant we weren't drained after a morning of cooking and panicking, an afternoon stealing naps while waiting for guests to come, and an evening cleaning up the kitchen. Auntie took over hosting this year (not that we had much of a choice), but yeah, everything went well. Bro behaved by doing what he does best - getting his token n running off even before the night of Syawal could set in, but really, who cares as long as there no (or not much) commotion. Dad behaved too. Yay.

I was a little confused about ang pao giving/receiving. I didn't want to receive, now that I was working, but I wasn't prepared to give (finances ain't really flourishing at the moment and well basically, just wasn't prepared). So there were moments of awkwardness between Auntie saying she should be getting reimbursement for all the ang paos she has given me over the years, and Auntie Rad slipping me one in the midst of my protests. We should have clearer boundaries abt green packet culture like the Chinese.

Jam n I found something in common - mingling ain't really our cup of tea. After hurriedly serving dinner, we were pretty much satisfied sitting in the room hanging out but Auntie came in and dragged us out for mingling time. Mingling wasn't really on the go till Auntie helped to break the ice - sometimes I wish I had a closer r'ship with my cousins and not just see them once a year, at most twice. Auntie reached a point of englightenment when she realised that tho the ADULTS were all in the living room talking family and business, she was clowning ard with us "kids"...pretty hilarious. Well, who says age is a barrier to fooling around eh? ;) My models weren't exactly sporting to humour my trigger happy mode..but I managed to get some pics with my hp. Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. (seriously, don't say it if u don't mean it...)

[Her Song of Unrequited Love]

Love like mine is never ending
mine will last forevermore.
All my love to you I'm sending
from your faithful "open door."

Want you to know
you are the one I wait here for.
Everyday my thoughts are with you
'though I know yours aren't with me.
And you may have met another
lady of your fantasy.
I shed no tears
you are not forced to love me.

Fearing my own desires could stray
I keep busy through the day
still thinking of you standing there
I accept you do not care...
O wasted years!
with a broken love affair.

I come to terms with destiny
living life, yearning for thee;
we meet up in my dreams at night
till I wake and see the light
I must be strong
All alone to sing my song
and I will be alright.

-Joyce Hemsley

[this ramadhan]

I thought the days of screaming at the table during buka were over. Or the melodramatic cries about "I can't cope alone (yeah right) this year". Or the incessant need to "ration" out food so that enough goes around the table at night and in the morning. And of course I thought the ending of the bickering between my dear parents would finally bring peace to the house. Doesn't seem so.

The tension is still abound, especially when a certain family member decides to act like a 5-year-old kid. We wonder when we'll have the next good home cooked meal, even the simplest of dishes satisfy our palates. The constant piquing drives us insane, we give in just to avoid the badgering. The moment we come home, some form of torment begins. How long will this last? I wished it ended yesterday.

Will things ever change, will the insensitive turn sensitive? No we're not exaggerating, 2 decades of this pattern GETS TO YOU. If it wasn't for God keeping me sane, and my dear friends who bear my crying in pain, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today.

Ramadhan is ending, goodbye to the blessed month so soon. Comes forth another worry, of how we're going to spend the arrival of the new moon. I pray everything goes well; if not utterly pleasant, at least not disdainful.