Sunday, December 18, 2011

[the final lap]

Baby has made it past 38 weeks. In 39th week now.  Good going darling. Please hang in there till Baba comes ok? Thank you.

It hasn't been an easy past few weeks; what with decisions to make and being comfortable with them.  It's been an emotional rollercoaster.  It seems as if everything that my natural birthing coach talked about that could happen/go wrong in a highly structured organisation, i.e. a hospital, happened.  Among which:

Doctor will prefer me not to go into natural labour, more so because she is going on leave and won't be around should baby decide to come out beyound 27th Dec;

I will not be able to have skin-to-skin contact once baby is out because of the c-section;

I will have to be proactive (read: stern) about no formula feeding and that baby be given to me in the recovery room to be breastfed;

I can only hold him if they deem me stable;

Doctor has even tried to persuade me to take baby out earlier since he's big;

Doctor tried to persuade me to have the c-section earlier since she will be on leave.


From my research I've read that:

Fewer complications are likely to occur if I let baby go into spontaneous labour, even if it is followed by a C-section. Cos then at least we know that he is really ready to come out. Afterall, nature knows best right?

The first hour is important for skin-to-skin contact so that baby still feels the familiarity of his mummy's heartbeat that he was hearing for 9-10 months.

C-section babies have a harder time latching on so it's important to start breastfeeding asap.

I don't want him to have separation anxiety by being not beside me when he comes into this world.

Baby size has no relation to whether he needs to be taken out earlier, if both mummy and baby are otherwise doing well.

Doctors are known for scheduling patients around their own leave, whether baby is truly ready or not.

I've tried my best to put my views across to the doctor, but ultimately in such a healthcare setting I don't think I have much say because we have a very "doctor knows best" perception.  The only thing that she didn't disagree to was delayed cord clamping; which I was surprised that she agreed to immediately. She even wrote it down on the front of my case sheet the moment I told her, especially when I asked whether I had to remind her on the day itself or not.

Thursday's appointment (15/12) was again very messy.  I very much felt like seeing the doctor alone and was secretly agreeing with her that the room was too crowded. Doctor even said "Next time I'll charge each extra person in the room." Ha. If I had a choice, well, you know who I'd have in the room with me.  Unfortunately even though Auntie had good intentions, she somehow managed to complicate things and ask more of Dr S, which I'm feeling very bad about. To top things off, now I'm not even sure if I'll be able to pick Mr F up from the airport on Friday because of her little arrangement. Haiz.

Had a little scare on Fri (16/12) when what I thought was my waterbag leaking happened.  The strog, although painless, contractions didn't help either. A trip to the hospital just to be safe and two hours later, seems that everything is still as it is; baby is not ready to come out yet. Thank God.  My first thought throughout the exciting morning was: I can't go for the c-section without Baba around. Thank you Allah for letting it be a false alarm.  Please let him come soon.  Unfortunately, flights are fully booked so he can't come earlier. Sigh. Can't imagine the relief I'll feel when he's finally here.  I'm literally counting down the days till he comes.  On another note, I'm glad I have Sakura who appeared so calm when I woke her up to tell her my symptoms. God bless her. With her around, I was able to go through the false alarm very calmly.

I'm confining myself at home for this final lap.  Don't want to take any chances.  Don't want extra activity to induce labour. Baba please come soon so that Mummy can be relieved and go for the c-section smoothly.  Right now I'm just praying relentlessly that things will go smoothly and Baba will be here on time.

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