[the final countdown]

9 months! 36 weeks! 1 more month to go! Time flies!

Can't believe 9 months has passed so fast. Ok well, while I was "suffering" it seemed to go slowly but now that we're here, nearly approaching December, it seems that time has zoomed by. My lil peanut has become a 2.4kg human being, at the last appointment at least, I'm sure he's grown even more. My stomach seems to have grown exponentially since I came back, and I'm pretty sure it's not me who's putting on the weight heh.  If he were to come out next week, he'd be considered a full term baby (but of course my dear H, you know you have to wait till daddy comes :P). My little H! And the end of life as we know it...

Had some not so good news at the first appointment at KK.  Dr S was very nice, saying how we should listen to babies and let nature take it's course as to when H should greet the world. Then she dropped the not-so-unexpected but still worrying bomb that H is still in breech position so I had to 2 options - to turn him manually from the outside, or to schedule a C-section.  While some women might be very comfortable with the idea of a C-section, I was very much inclined from the beginning to have a natural, unmedicated birth (read: do not even want an epidural. Laugh at me, but that's how I feel).  Having a bio background has has it's benefits and downsides, the more I read about what drugs can do to babies (and adults), coupled with new research about how birth experience moulds a child into an adult, I was very keen to give H the best start in his life. Not just that, I guess I have to admit that I'm pretty much afraid of a major surgery and it's post-recovery period. Sooooo, as Dr S said, it was a decision hubby and I have to make by next appointment, which is the day after tomorrow. Sigh.

I'm trying all sorts of non-invasive interventions now, like moxabustion (TCM thing), pelvic tilt, polar bear positioning, putting ice/heat packs and lately chiropractice. Also listening to hypnosis tracks coupled with the relaxation techniques I learnt during HypnoBirthing classes.  I feel like a bad mum when the chiro said H can't turn probably cos of my tilted pelvis, a problem I've had for ages that has caused my lower back pains. I guess if things do result in a C-section, I can console myself by saying I've tried all possible avenues. Sorry lil one, if I could, I would have given you a better start. Some people are comforting me by saying that he might turn at the last moment, so well, I guess I'll leave it in His hands and pray for the best.

Right now the only dreams I'm having seem to be of me going into labour. Either we did too much role playing during classes or that's all my mind is preoccupied with haha.  It'll be interesting to see how things work out. How will my labour start? When will I be at the hospital? How long will labour take?  Some things cannot be planned. That's kind of what has put me off balance ever since the breech news. Me, the one who loves to "plan ahead", can't plan on how things will turn out when it's time for me to greet my baby.  On the other hand, God is the best planner and at this point, I guess I should just put my trust in Him that everything will happen as it is supposed to.

See you soon my darling. Everyone is so excited to meet you.  May you have a safe journey into this world. =)