My friends would probably think I'm a pro on this topic, having been in one for half a decade which ended in a happily-ever-after fairytale (well, sort of). Ever since coming here, as I start to reflect on things, as much as I am not against long distance relationships, I wouldn't recommend it for the faint hearted.
The kind of relationship I've been pondering on is not so much a romantic one but a platonic one. Although I was initially very dependent on my buddies in Sg for getting me through the long desert days and nights, I have somewhat been able to wean myself off the dependency. It's not that I don't need them anymore, but as circumstances permit or don't permit, it is quite difficult to maintain an optimal conversation/relationship online when you are world's apart, literally and figuratively.
As everyday demands mount on you, such as work pressures, family commitments, social commitments, it is hard to find a common time to come online with the time difference. I have even found a trend - that as wrong as it sounds, more people seem to be online on weekdays during office hours than on weekends. But although they are online at work, well, work being work, is not a conducive place to chat online. The different weekday/weekend schedules further compound this problem. Furthermore, as I grow more and more out of touch with happenings around my circles of friends as well as what is happening back home, the number of topics you are able to talk about declines gradually. You soon find yourself talking about the same topic repeatedly or cracking your brain on what topic to talk about next. Once in awhile, when you are in an epiphany of things to talk about, something or other crops up like a bad internet connection or a "I have to go off now".
Lately I've been more than a little ticked off by a couple of friends who claim they have been too busy to drop a line or two to at least tell me they are doing well. It seems that the onus is on me to maintain the friendship. Is it my fault because I had to go away? Doesn't it take two to clap, tango, or whatever else it is? I almost feel like a sucker for wanting to maintain the friendships and it leaves me wondering if the other party is interested at all.
I guess this is part and parcel of living away from home. While you make new friends, you risk losing the old ones, and sadly the latter is very real. Though I'm not yet giving up, because I believe that since we were once good friends, there will be something to rekindle sooner or later. On the end of the person who is living abroad, as KS said, it becomes tough when every summer, you find out that yet another expat friend of yours is leaving for good, and you never know when you will meet them again.
"Friendships aren't always forever, but while you have them they are intellectually and emotionally enriching and you should always treasure them, even if they are short term." - KS
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