[breaking barriers]

No hugs, no kind words, no kisses, no affection.

We have a one-of-a-kind father. That we do.  He says things that hurt us, he complains when we ask for a gift (or just to buy us something that he deems unnecessary and expensive).  Yet at the end of the day, we know he loves us. How? We just do.

When I was on exchange, he constantly asked about my health. He offered to help me settle in and told me not to worry about money. When Sakura was on exchange, he kept in touch with her on Skype no less, and paid the hefty bill which she incurred after a senseless mistake without a single word of displeasure.

When we are sick, he doesn't offer to take us to the doctor and even scolds us if we go to a private (i.e. expensive) one. Yet when we continue to sniff, he nags us to see a doctor or take our meds till we finally do.

The only time I remember receiving a hug from him, as an adolescent onwards at least, was 4 years back when I was in depression.  Even while leaving for here, I pondered whether to hug him at the airport and I guess he got surprised when I did. Let's not talk about the awkwardness when he hugged Mr F after our wedding lol.

Even though he now thinks I "belong" to my husband, he constantly emails and asks about us. He always enquires whether the sandstorms are affecting my asthma and let's not forget the links he sends us for F's job applications.

I guess affection doesn't come naturally to him probably due to his upbringing.  Sakura wrote him a card today and in her own words: "then i so shy to give him. cos u know how we're so unaffectionate with papa. so after i give him then i run away to shower so he dun have to read in front of me." And when she said she'd return the money for the huge bill she got in dk, he said, i quote, "don't need, just study hard and then when u want to get married I will say BYEEE". Go figure!

Freaky or not, I had the exact same thought last night as I sms-ed him and signed off with "Love you" to replace my usual "Take care".  I went straight to bed with my hp facing down so that I wouldn't regret what I wrote lol.  His reply was that the govt was giving us money that'd be credited to my bank account.  Go figure!

 

To our dear father who shows his love in his own quirky ways... Happy Birthday, we love you. ♥