[sacrifices]

My heart goes out to the millions of people around the world who have to go away from home in order to earn a better living.

In particular, I had in mind the nurses at the hospital whom I work with. Many of them have been here for decades; they spent their youth here and are probably gonna end their careers here. Many of whom came because they would otherwise have been employed for meagre wages and forced to live prudently, if not being totally unemployed. Although many of them live comfortable lives here, even sporting an LV bag or two occasionally, therein comes some sacrifices.

As the ladies were recalling their childbirth stories, at the advent of one of our colleagues giving birth, my heart went out to the strong mothers out there. C told us how she only spent a month with her newborn, and had to fly back here to resume work. When A came in with her 2-month old yesterday, C said "Please let me carry her or I won't be satisfied, I did not get to carry my boys when they were babies." She sacrificed her annual leave this year just so she can go back for her son's high school graduation without any problems next year. Another colleague spent 6 months with her baby and now only sees her once a year, for at most 1.5 months each time. Another had her husband and child back home, and although the husband is here now, the child is still back home being looked after by her parents. Mr F also has a friend whose family lives in Sg - he loves his children so much that he doesn't mind flying all the way back just to spend a weekend with his daughter on her birthday.

I'm sure these are just a few of the many stories of child-parent separation caused by working abroad. Some are lucky to be able to bring their families here, some choose not to bring their families over because of the closed society here and lack of freedom. Whatever the reason, I'm sure missing other family members, much more your own child, bears a huge burden on the soul. This is why having friends when you're a thousand miles away from home is really important. What more the value of friends you can relate to. I am almost envious when I see how tight the relationship between the nurses and/or their families is. They regard each other as much more than friends, I dare say almost like extended families. Even when an ex-expat comes to visit, they will sacrifice their homes to accomodate them.

While admiring the sacrifices these people go through, I should also remind myself to be grateful that life has been pretty easy for myself and many other S'poreans. Not many of us are forced to work overseas to earn a decent living. In fact, many of the Sg expats here CHOSE to come over to INCREASE their standard of living i.e. they were already doing well in Sg, coming here was a way to improve their already good lifestyles. When was the last time we had to scrimp on the household expenditure so that we could buy enough meat to last the whole week? While we have our own stresses to bear, I kind of see the truth in what Mr F said (although mockingly) that (many) S'poreans are born with a silver spoon up their in our mouths. Maybe the silver quality varies a little here and there, but we generally get by pretty easily. In pondering about this, I also realise my own husband has had to go through being separated from his parents for the sake of a good job. I pray and pray that my children and I will not have to go through this next time. :P


Here's a reminder to everyone out there who isn't happy with their lives - there are always those worse off than you out there. So, count your blessings.

[Ramadan 2010]

A fellow expat wife inspired me to write this entry after I read hers. Here's a gist of my reflections on Ramadan this year.

1. This Ramadan sees its many firsts. Although last Ramadan we were already married, Mr F and I were still apart. This Ramadan, after spending many together online, is finally our first - together in person. Thank Allah for His mercies on us.

2. It is my first Ramadan away from home. Although over the past few years Ramadan in my house has changed, I still miss breaking fast at home. Even hearing a different call to prayer, and the lack of the particular song they play on the radio while we're breaking our fast makes a difference.

3. It is also the first Ramadan where I have to be first in charge of bringing (good) food to the table at break fast and in the morning. Many years ago our maid was the one to bring delicacies to our table, then mum, then dad and me. It stresses me a little that now I have to plan the menu myself, and wonder what tidbit can be added to make iftar more flavourful. Luckily Mr F isn't too picky about it. So far he says I'm doing a good job. :)

4. Ramadan slows things down here. From a normal work time of 8.30 to 6, hubz now works from 10 to 4. A great reduction, a huge difference from the one hour I used to get in Sg, that too after a special request from the boss. Good for me because my companion is home earlier. Shops are mostly closed in the day, but at night they open till about 1 or 2 am, sometimes overnight. I've yet to see the bustling night life, maybe cos we've been going to the wrong places heh.

5. Have yet to do Terawikh at a mosque. I especially miss the zikirs (recitations) at the end of the prayers which are tear inducing. Wonder if they do that here. Hubz is unsure where they have places for ladies but I hope we'll find soon. On the other hand, I cherish the fact that I now have a new leader in prayer, who unfrotunately is still a little shy heh. I am really grateful for this because I can't remember the number of times during Ramadan or not where I've prayed to Him to bestow me with a husband who can lead me in prayers and guide me to the righteous path. Alhamdulillah.

6. No Ramadan bazaar. Although I'm not a big fan of crowds, it was almost ritualistic to go to the bazaar at Geylang Serai at least once during this month. Dendeng, Ramli burger, air kathira..oh man, makes my mouth water. Tiga sepuluh, tiga sepuluh - the chaotic cries from the vendors. On the other hand, they have plenty of Ramadan sales going on in practically every shopping mall. That's something different since in Sg we only usually have Hari Raya sales. I should mention too that people here stock up for Ramadan like they're stocking up for a famine. They start weeks before Ramadan, grabbing everything off the supermarket shelves. My friend said the Tang (drink mix) from Carrefour was wiped out in just two days. Relax lah people, we're not entering a famine.

I heard Eid/Hari Raya is also going to be a different affair here. Seems that after the morning prayers, most people just go home and go back to sleep. No visiting till night or the next day. Yawn. And I thought something exciting could take the place of our failed vacation plan (thanks to the efficiency of things here). Bleah. Luckily though I bought pineapple tarts from Sg JB to add to the Raya spirit. Maybe that will cheer me up heh :)

[on differences]

Enter into any relationship and there's bound to be differences between two individuals. It would be quite unlikely that even two related families do things the same way. What more in an international, intercultural marriage. Over the past 9 months (woo I survived so long heh), I've noticed several differences in Mr F's and my style of doing things. Just wanted to point out a few here.

1. Food. In Sg we believe in our food pyramid - having a bit of everything during one meal. Rice (or other carbs), a meat dish and a vege dish. I remember the first meal I cooked after our first grocery shopping here. I cooked what would be a typical meal at home - chicken curry and stir-fried french beans. Upon having lunch, hubby commented that he didn't realise I was going to cook everything in one day. I later learned that what I cooked is equivalent to 3 different meals in India - chicken dish one day, potato another and french beans another. There went my "ideal" meals, but I'm not complaining since it's one less dish a day to cook hehe. Having a vege side dish has always made eating veges more palatable since the meat dish can "mask" the taste of the vege. Now we cook totally veg on certain days. They also cut their veges into tiny tiny pieces so that the quantity lookes bigger. After discussing this with his friend the other day, I realise maybe it's because (most) S'poreans are, Alhamdulillah, well to do and we don't need to pinch on our food at least.

2. Recipes. Also related to the above, needless to say I'm cooking more Indian/Hyderabadian recipes these days. It isn't a problem for me since I eat Indian food in Sg anyway, but I miss Malay food, something which I now cook only occasionally because Mr F's face changes whenever he sees a dish he's not familiar with (yes I notice darling). Gone also are my chilli downing days, whether it's prawn sambal, sambal belacan or a fiery curry recipe. Seems that although Indians are supposed to be able to tolerate spice, chilli spiciness is a different thing altogether. The couple of times I used a blazing hot fish curry mix (not used to the brands here yet...) and cooked sambal, Mr F's GI system went ablaze and he rushed to the loo immediately. Then again, I think he generally doesn't have high spice tolerance, which he claims is the result of having lived here for too long. Now I mostly cook chilli stuff just for myself, rarely.

3. Clothes. Again although I have no problems wearing traditional Indian clothes, it seems that the Hyd ladies here wear it all the time, out or at home. Gawdy sequinned ones at that. Thank God my MIL firstly doesn't like gawdy stuff, and secondly knows my taste about overly sequinned stuff, so the suits she makes for me are more plain. Yet after that, I feel a little underdressed everytime I meet the DH because my clothes are always the ones without any embellishments. I also wish I could be more "myself", wearing my regular clothes when I meet them, but with the growing number of suits MIL makes me, Mr F always goes "Who's gonna wear them if you don't?" Gah.

4. Language. Out of this list, I guess this is my biggest gripe. It seems that everyone just EXPECTS me to suddenly start speaking Urdu. It's not that I have anything against learning the language, but you can't learn a language overnight, especially when you hear it only once a month at most. I swear when I was hearing it constantly last July, I picked up more than I did these past months. And you also can't learn it when people just continue speaking in that language without any translation (that's why they invented the dictionary). My mother probably learned Tamil fast because my grandma lived with us, and she had plenty of things to say to her not-so-favourite DIL (i.e. she learnt a lot of swear words too lol). I get extremely bored and frustrated everytime the DH meet because although one or two of them will bother to tell me what's going on every now and then, it is mostly just me sitting there looking (or feeling) stupid because I have absolutely no clue what's going on. When there's a joke, everyone will suddenly turn to me and wonder why I'm not laughing, then someone will feebly try to translate, after the excitement has died down. What happened to accomodating an outsider? I guess that won't happen anytime soon. That is why I'm so desperately trying to keep in touch with fellow S'poreans or Msians, because believe me, speaking in your own tongue is sooooo liberating. I'm trying to learn on my own now, forcing Mr F to teach me a phrase or two a day and reading up here and there. Seems that Urdu teachers are hard to come by here; the only one I found throughout these months lives too far away for hub's convenience. I only have a couple of months more to go, since my in-laws will definitely be "testing" me when I'm back for hols. Sigh.

The list goes on, but I shall continue another day. Having pointed out these few points, I should say that even though the differences are there, it doesn't necessarily imply that it's a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it makes you more open to receiving and giving cultural experiences. Furthermore, isn't compromise what a good relationship is about? ;)

[national service]

It was brought to my attention that the govt might actually want S'poreans to work overseas to help our growth. An interesting insight after we talked to the Ambassador at the National Day celebrations we had at the Four Seasons Hotel last week. I was lamenting how I didn't like it here and was looking for a job for Mr F so we could move back; so he said we should actually stay for awhile, build up our "reserves" then go back and "start our life in Sg". Interesting perspective, and I think that besides that reason, he was probably encouraging me to work here for awhile so that I could bring money back and spend in Singapore. Not a bad idea eh? So with this new perspective in mind that I'm doing national service for my country, and the fact that the money aspect is one of the biggest things keeping me going here, I shall persevere on.

The celebration was a pleasant relief from the lack of excitement here. Needless to say, I had a chance to (finally!) dress up so dress up I did - in my engagement baju kurung and make-up which I borrowed from E. Sad to say hubz called me a geisha after the make-up (he hates make-up) but who cares - I think I looked great. With husband like him, I don't need an enemy hehe. He looked stunning in his suit though - reminded me of 18 July - told him I want to marry him again lol. The hotel was also impressive, so huge till hubz asked the staff who was guiding us to the Paris room whether it was in R or another country lol (a bit lame lah..but that's his humour...). We started off with the National Anthem and the Pledge followed by a speech by the Ambassador. Have to say, I've never felt so proud singing/saying them. As a fellow attendee put it, it's never been so good hearing your national anthem till you're in a foreign land.

We later found out that the table of men we were sitting with (we didn't have much of a choice since we came late) were embassy workers and that three quarters of them were from Hyd. Hubz felt quite at home I guess heh. I was pushing myself to speak to them but after talking to the nearest guy, I realised he was just the embassy driver...bleah...so much for making contacts..haha. I met a few nurses from Sg too and they seem pretty fun people to be with. Looking forward to meeting them for a coffee or so. Since Ramadan is coming, might invite them for iftar too. I even received a pleasant surprise from Siti who gave me a Crabtree&Evelyn body wash as a bday prezzie. Wee! My 2nd prezzie for the year lol.

The embassy even attempted to bring in local food - there was Bedok prata, Katong laksa, Hainanese chicken rice, even ice kacang (with atapchee!!). Seems that someone brought the ingredients from Sg then the food was prepared by the hotel. Unfortunately, since they were prepared by non-S'poreans i.e. the hotel staff, they didn't taste so good (the prata was doughy, the wanton skin was hard...) but well, can't be choosy I guess. I made the most out of it e.g. since the laksa noodles was undercooked, I sipped the sinful gravy instead...hehe. Oh and I should add that the background music was National Day songs. We even received a goodie bag at the end of the day! I think it's remnants of what they'll give away at the NDP heh.

In the spirit of patriotism, here's a Happy 45th to Singapore. Majulah Singapura! Checkout the pics here.

[ask and I shall receive]

Bearing no resemblance to any religious scriptures, I shall use that motto from now onwards when dealing with hubby. Seems that he doesn't take hints very well, so on my birthday, even after hinting many times everytime a Baskin Robbins ice-cream cake ad came on tv (with me saying "I want that soooon" - I thought that was clear enough...), I did not get any cake. What's a bday without a cake right??



So after giving up sulking for 2 days post bday, I decided to be very thick skinned and asked him for a cake. Seems that he did notice I was sulking on my bday but he just didn't know why. Bleah. But hubz was so sweet that he immediately went to get me a cake (it was 9pm). Hee...all's forgiven now..haha. :)


The result of my persistance:


I'm 4 apparently.... 



off topic - his anni prezzie

[grinzzzzzz]

Need I say more? Hehehe. Even Mr F was complaining he doesn't get such poetic emails from his dad. Did I say he's my fave father-in-law? He sent me another lovely card last year. Me like. Hehehe =)

[a silent birthday]

This must've been the most uneventful birthday in a very long time. Can't say it's my first away from home because last year I celebrated it with my in-laws post-wedding. If I had been in Sg, I'd have spent the past few weeks meeting different groups of friends. I'd probably have eaten 3 bday cakes by now, and put on 2 kg of birthday weight...haha. Thank God for FB though, logging into my account really cheered me up. Thank you to all my lovely friends for your note or two. Got perked up a lil today when I did the ritual of buying KFC for everyone at work and got more birthday wishes (thanks to E who went around announcing it..heh).

I decided that as of this year, I shall be 24, for the rest of my life...hehe. Now I know why women hide their age. I feel OLDDDD!!! (doesn't help that the desperate housewives are all a few years younger than me..and almost all are mothers or soon-to-be mothers!)

A lame poem for the prezzie hubz gave me, probably the only prezzie I'll get this year. Bought it in Sg during the PC show and hubz brought it over. Here goes:

(To be sung in the tune of the birthday song)
Happy birthday to me
Thank you for the Wii
Though I don't know who I bought it for
For him or for meeeee.

Lol. It's lame. I know. :P As you can see, he plays it more often than me. Heh. On another note, I'm glad I asked him for the Wii. A Wii a day keeps the blues away. Whenever I need some perking up, I play a round of tennis or two. Gives me a pretty good workout too since you perspire after playing (at the harder levels of course). Wee!

[be grateful]

Dear Princess,

This is a reminder for you to be grateful. While you may be bored at home with nothing much to work on, consider this:

1) Some people would kill to have such a leisurely and well-paying job as yours.

2) You don't need to work OT like some of your friends do.

3) You don't need to bring home work work on weekends.

4) You don't have meetings at odd hours of the day, causing you to stay in the office till late.

5) You don't have to spend on lunch money.

6) You don't need to commute in the searing heat.

7) You don't have to wonder what to wear to work today.

8) You can take unlimited breaks as long as you complete your work.

9) There's no watchful eye over you.

10) You get to spend lunchtime with your hubby.

But.sometimes.the.boredom.just.gets.to.me.
Am.reminding.myself.to.be.grateful......

[part 3]

The monotony of living here is back. Again 2 weeks feels like 2 months, and the regret of not extending my stay lingers more. Sigh. On the positive side, the thing that I daily look forward to over here is back.

My highlight of the day:
Part 1 - Hubby comes back for lunch.
Part 2 - We watch a series together (used to be a couple of Jap animes, now it's Frasier).
Part 3 - We cuddle up so that hubby can have a lil nap before facing the world again.

Part 3 is bittersweet because

1) Needless to say, we spend quality time together.

2) Most of the time, hubby (even at night) falls asleep the moment he hits the pillow. I will usually be the one disturbing him and keeping him awake, I guess because I'm in desperate need for company. Muahaha. When I eventually "pity" him, I'll watch him doze off. Sometimes I snooze off too.

3) It lasts for such a short period, I hardly fall asleep when his alarm goes off.

4) When his alarm goes off, I'm alone again. Sometimes I bargain for another precious 2 mins with him. :P

Today's part 3 was so welcomed that both of us slept through his alarm. Instead of waking up at 1.40, I woke up first at 2.00 and started wondering "Why do I feel so rested??". Only then did I realise hubby was late for work. Maybe my research conclusion should be "30 mins of a daytime siesta is more effective than a mere 15 mins". Hehe.

[H@ppY 1st @nniVerS@ry]

Ah as the usual line goes...how time flies!! Can't believe it's been a year since we became one. Through the thick and the thin and the drama of trying to get together, we're finally living as a couple now, still going strong one year later.

At the risk of sounding mushy, I have this to say. I'm glad that after one year of marriage, we're still gushing over each other. Even songs that mean a lot to me/him brings out emotions in the form of a tear. When he sits away from me, I still wish he's sitting next to me. When it's time for bed, I ask him along too because the bed seems empty without him by my side. I always miss him when I wake up without him beside me, and the silly things he does to cheer me up. I still wonder how someone can be awed by the smiled of their loved one even though they've seen it plenty of times, and how I look forward to 6.30pm everyday so that I can hug him when he opens the door.

To my one and only, H@PPy FiRsT @nniVeRs@rY. May this mark the first of many wonderful anniversaries to come. :)

Here's what he got me...a sweet diamond necklace. It was quite a surprise..since he simply brought me to the store and said...i'm buying u something..pick what u like...hee. Needless to say I was grinning like an idiot :P. Will upload what I got him later.

[and i partied on]

Wow, I probably had the most intensive 3 weeks of "partying" in June. It was a really precious 3 weeks, a much needed and welcomed reprieve from my ahem..exciting life here. The activities did not end from the moment I landed, from meeting one bunch of friends to another to spending time with my family, and doing things I hadn't done in a while including watching movieSSSS and karaoke-ing (weet!!). I had so many requests for meetups, I even had to schedule breakfast meets! Needless to say, I had loads of fun. Oh the breath of freedom...I miss you already.

I guess my fears of losing my friends or losing touch with them were unfounded. When we met up, things were like always. Moral of the story: some things never change. Haha. That could be good and bad of course, like how someone prioritised other things over spending time with their (precious) daughter, but I shall not dwell on that. I guess 6 months is a short period of time, so not much has changed in Sg either [city vibe still not up yet!! tho I got lost at Somerset MRT cos of 313...]. Sakura kept telling ppl we met "Aiyah kakak thinks 6 months would've changed things dramatically". Well, in my defense, I thought things would have changed, at least a little, since my life changed so drastically after moving here. But Sg is as humid as it is, and dad is still as noisy as he always was. Lol.

Us charmed ones enjoyed our JB trip tremendously, eating, shopping, eating, swimming, err did I mention eating? In fact, I was so excited I didn't even sleep early despite having sedatives in my system after the endoscopy I had that morning. Talk about leading a hectic life huh..morning endo, afternoon JB and the evening upon returning from JB, met up with JC pals...phew...glad I survived it all. Another piece of news that emerged from this fruitful trip which I can announce loud and clear now (didn't want to jinx it initially) - Mr F is now a PR, complete with blue IC and all. Yippee! Can start looking for flats now :P

Yes yes, I'm chipper. Though I thought I'd stocked up on enough "fun" to not feel bored - by the 2nd day of returning here, I was feeling homesick all over again. Ah, I guess you can't have the cake and eat it too. No matter the bittersweet feeling, I wouldn't mind doing it all over again. Next time though, I would naughtily extend my trip especially since I learnt from big boss yesterday that the next 3 weeks "will be slow as most of the doctors are away". Great...if only I had had the guts to stay on using some wonderfully cooked up story of being held up because of floods... Maybe next time hehe :P

meetup with ex-colleagues @ Fika cafe

one of the many outings with the charmed ones (unfortunately this pic was taken at NUH haha...lost all my JB pics when I sent phone for servicing...sigh...)

dinner with ma ladies...crappy talk and full of laughter as always :)

a more intimiate dinner with G and PE

Did i mention I tried to fool my family that I was some one else? Unfortunately the disguise didn't work, they were waving way before I even came out..sigh...

[oh what chivalry]

Beneath all the "oppression" towards women here, I guess chivalry does exist amongst some men in this country (one of the plus points my hubby was trying to win me over with about coming here). I was pleasantly surprised that after shopping alone today (bought hubby ready-to-eat mixes to make while I'm gone), the guy who packed my stuff into bags (they have one cashier and one packer) put everything into my trolley and wheeled it out of the supermarket for me. After that, he even stood in the hot sun trying to flag down a taxi for me while he asked me to stand in the shade. Grateful I was because venturing out in the blistering heat under two layers of clothes is an easy recipe for dehydration. Not to mention I was wearing my face cover that made me feel suffocated lol. (I wear it on occassion to either just annoy Mr F [he doesn't get the amusement I get in wearing it, then lifting it up while in the car to stick my tongue out at him lol] or when I go to the "little India" here to avoid despos from staring at me or when I'm venturing out alone...the more u look like one of them, the less stares u're likely to get. Not that they disappear completely, gah.) So anyway, after hailing the cab, he even put my things in for me into the boot. How nice right? I was like wow, I could've handled it on my own cos it was so few things, but it was so nice of him to help. I've also experienced instances where guys have let me get ahead in queue or let me pass in front. I guess these fellas can't be condemmed totally. Heh.

[the world should have more people like you]

I was recently lamenting on how the doctors in my department were easily impressed by the work I've done, and because of that I wasn't feeling motivated because I wanted to be pushed further, and not complimented for the easy work that I do. Seriously, if anyone is impressed by my statistics, they are naive. Not only because they get awed by the tests that I can "come up with", but also because they are such newbies to research, giving them a few p-values for simple associations makes them happy. This career move certainly wasn't one where I could "excel further". But I guess I've excelled at using Stata the whole day without getting a headache everytime. Heh.

Nevertheless, yesterday during our usual Saturday meetings (about the only day of the week I definitely have to go into office), Dr W was chairing the meeting. I remember when I first came into the department he was the one who said "Oh Dr A told me they saw what you wrote and it was like magic that you were able to write about a new topic so soon and so well". **Grinz**. So during the meeting where each of us RAs give our updates, I mentioned the status of the three manuscripts I was working on. He replied with a "Are you a hepatologist?" so I was like errr... Then he added "..because the NAFLD paper, the HCC, the steatosis paper...wow..perfectly written, till there isn't much to correct. In a year's time you can be a full time hepatologist!" Lol. I heard a couple of MashaAllah's around the table (it literally means "Whatever God wills", often used when there is surprise in someone's achievements or good deeds). If I had a mirror I could swear I was blushing so while looking down at my notes I said thank you. Hehe.

Today after talking to my big boss, he commented again about how he was impressed I could catch on with the liver field so soon and write "brilliant" papers so quickly (seems they were worried initially about whether I could grasp it soon). He even said whatever paper I write from scratch I can be an author in...yay! (On another note, it seems that God sends me these little messages just when I need them. Only last week I was telling hubby how I feel thick skin to write my own name on the paper or ask if I could include my name...and voila, Dr A brought it up today.) Well, bottomline is, I guess it's always fantastic to have bosses who appreciate the work you do and give a compliment even when it's not due lol. For that reason, I really love my working environment. Now I'm having second thoughts about changing jobs (I still miss the lab!)...guess we'll see what happens... For now I shall revel in the fact that I've had pretty nice bosses in my short working life so far =)

5 days to go till I see Changi Airport again. Wee!

P.S. I'm not blowing my own horn, just stating how lucky I am to have positive people around me here :)

[at the playground]

We've been having pretty busy weekends lately. First it was the potluck, then an impromptu night at the park (which was cut short by a sudden sandstorm..was quite exciting actually lol, minus the sand in my eyes), then we visited a friend's place, and last weekend we made it to a theme park. We'd (the desperate [house]wives) planned for this ever since the istiraha so some of us were literally counting down the days to the event. Hey, we need thing to look forward to!

The theme park was a pretty modest one and it was ladies and kids only so the fellas had to find their own fun. Nowhere near sg standards, I think we'd call it more of those funfair thingies we have on open fields every now and then. There were very few rides and since we were super early (life here starts at night on weekends, we were there at 4.30!), we had to wait for the rides to start. The rides I took for the day was the go kart, rollercoaster and a water ride. Yep, only three. Sad right? Well, there was one crazy ride which swung u up in the air more than 45 degrees each way, while rotating, but that was too much excitement for me. Didn't want my hernia to get worse lol. I was hoping the rollercoaster would set my tummy back where it belongs but seems it didn't..haha. One of the girls had a preconceived idea that being s'porean, I would love theme parks and take all the rides. So she was kinda urging me onto the rollercoaster when I was reluctant initially so in the end I was like, fine why not. Child's play I would say really, but it seems as you get older those plunges get scarier. I wonder what other preconceived ideas they have about S'poreans...hmmm...

The weirdest thing that happened was Ms A getting frightened about going into the 3D Dark Room which was supposed to be a horror house of sorts. We were ready to set off when she panicked and decided not to go. Luckily there weren't many people so I wasn't so embarrassed. The first cart came back and A was asking them how it was. Seems that I didn't miss much, since it was literally just a dark room, with a couple of not-very-frightening "ghosts" that popped up twice. As AM put it, the only frightening thing was that the room was dark. Guess I didn't miss much...I guess I've been spoilt after going to the haunted house in Sweden and after that, even the horror house in Bkk wasn't frightening. I tell ya, nothing can beat that. :P And I also think that having traveled lots and experienced fantastic theme parks (the one in Brisbane was awesommmeee), this was totally disappointing.

The rest of the time was spent eating and talking and me trying to decipher what they were saying (sigh, they keep telling me to learn some phrases, but if you speak only in one language and not translate, how am I supposed to learn right??). Well anyway, had a pretty good time overall. We plan to visit the theme parks one by one every few weeks or so. I heard the guys are already complaining about having to chauffeur us there and back. Wahaha.

On a separate note, I was pretty shocked to see what the local ladies wear when they're "free"...from thick makeup to beehive hairdos to plunging necklines and exposed cleavages of assets that were obviously pushed up, if not already naturally very well-endowed. One of the gals said this was nothing, seems that at their weddings, their ballroom gowns come in all shapes and sizes. She even said that since the Indians who were there wore their traditional salwar suits, she felt like she was too decent lol. Hope I get to witness one while I'm here...I shall get a sexy low cut dress to attend it hehe.

[sorry no cure]

It seems that I spoke to soon. I was happy that they found a CAUSE of the pain, but it seems there is no CURE for it. The dr will only be able to treat the symptoms with proton pump inhibitors to lower the acid content in my stomach but the hernia itself cannot be treated. Surgery is only a last resort and mine is still considered minor. My mood plunged down to below zero after yesterday's appt when he said that. Sigh. Yet another problem that is uncurable. First asthma, then back pain, now this. Looks like I'm accumulating symptoms throughout my life. By the time I'm 60 I wonder how many more problems my body will accumulate. Grrr.

For now, I guess my stomach has an inbuilt mechanism to stay healthy. Seems that avoiding the following things will help with the acid secretion:
- Tomatoes,
- Citrus fruits (but where to get my Vit C??),
- Chocolate (gasp!),
- Coffee (not a problem, I avoid it anyway cos it works as a laxative for me esp in the mornings lol)
- Smoking
- Alcohol
- Spicy food (bye bye chilli...)

- White/refined flour
- Fried food

And I should stock up on the following:
- Exercise
- Milk
- Honey
- Greens
- Elevating my head while sleeping
- Relaxation techniques for the diaphragm

I'm still hoping that my symptoms are a stay-in-this-country side effect. Maybe in 2 wks time the pain will suddenly disappear when I land at Changi airport. Hehe. Meanwhile, I'm hoping to get a 2nd opinion when I'm back in June. Sorry hubby, since coming here it's been hospitals almost every other wk (past two wks it's been almost twice weekly!). Hope I can make it up to you in some way. *Huggies*

[the verdict]

Ah finally had the gastrocopy done. At least now I don't have to worry about the procedure and what exactly is wrong. It was pretty harmless, since I was sedated lightly, though I remember trying to regurgitate out the tube and the doctor told me to relax..yeah like I could control it while being in lala land :P

The diagnosis? Hiatal hernia: an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up through the chest. More on it here...I like the diagram lol. Seems that it's the same thing I had as a baby where I wouln't be able to keep in feeds till my dad had to rush out to pharmacies at odd hours (when stock was low) to get thickeners to add in the milk. Asthma is also believed to be a consequence of it...I wonder if it's linked in my case. Interesting.

Anyway, I'm kinda relieved because at least he found something wrong...I hate going for checks, especially such invasive ones, and getting the result: nothing wrong, i.e. nothing we can do about it. I read up on it after coming home, and it seems that I'm already taking the meds that are prescribed for it. I hope this doesn't mean mine isn't treatable. I don't want to resort to surgery. I hope this problem will resolve soon since we're planning to have a baby soon (heartburn and what not gets worse during pregnancy...if this is already so bad, don't wanna imagine that!)

Got to thank my hubby for being by my side all the way, even being in the waiting room with me before the procedure (even though he hates needles and hates seeing me being poked) and as far as he could till they closed the room for the procedure. :)

[touched]

Felt very touched today when my friends and sister replied to my fb status abt going for my gastroscopy tmr. Was feeling a little nervous so wanted some words of encouragement heh. Auntie even told me to give her a call before I go for the procedure, and my MIL said she'll be praying for my quick recovery. I was especially touched when I received a call, from an unknown m'sian no, and it turned out to be a friend I met many years ago in Melaka after being online friends for awhile. Auntie E sounded quite concerned about what and why I needed the procedure done and said I could call her anytime for a chat. Sweet right? Hee. I guess even though I complained that my parents have not called me even once since coming here, God has sent me angels of friends who show their love through these little but meaningful ways.

Hopefully all will go well tmr (i.e. no complications) and that they'll find a (not so serious) cause as to what's going on, so that there can be a more specific solution to my gastric woes. :)

[super machine]

We had our 2nd day of training yesterday. True to my words, our driver came 25 mins late. I'd already told Dr L to ask O to come much earlier cos he'd be late anyway, but perhaps he doesn't have much punctuality sense either. Sigh. When we reached there about an hour late, I was shocked to see that the training hadn't even started, and the trainer told us he'd been waiting for people to show up since 9am. Haiz. I guess next time I'll just ask hubby to drop me directly. Even if I'm super early, at least I won't be guilty of making anyone wait for me.

What machine have we been training on? It's this awesome chemical analyser which can run about 92 different biochemical tests, 44 tests per run, and about 400 runs per hour. Fantastic huh? It kind of obliterates the need for a graduate to do the running of biochemical tests, but I guess that's what technology is aiming for these days. I think any Tom, Dick or Harry could be told which buttons to press and voila, albumin, creatinine, urea and what nots can be measured in about 10 mins.

the super machine

Which leads me to the topic of research here. Research has not been a big thing here since recently. Even then, it seems to be picking up quite slowly, with doctors still prefering clinical work and trials to basic science research. Most of the basic science research is only done in universities here, and they have very few research institutes (I'm only aware of one, and that is part of a govt hospital). It seems that funding and infrastructure isn't a major problem unlike in Sg. My centre for example, after getting HUGE funding, probably has enough money to set up its own lab. I've toured several labs from beaming doctors/scientists who are all out to impress this S'porean and I must say I have been impressed - from latest super high throughput PCR machines that do ALL the work for you at the press of a few buttons to this super machine that can run plenty of tests in such a short time. They cost millions of riyals, and I'm sure they're probably in the millions of sg dollars too. Unfortunately though, what seems to be lacking is the expertise to carry out research. If they can be impressed by an "epidemilogist" like me who has such basic knowledge in the field, it makes me wonder about the quality of their research. Many of the labs also seem to be newly set up and still looking for overseas experts to guide them. Oh and I should mention that most of the people who are interested in research are locals who have been trained overseas and, I assume, have been exposed to the research world.

Thankfully I guess the problem of skilled manpower can be solved by the abundant funding that the govt is putting into biomedical research (sounds a little like Sg...hope they don't get disappointed as our ministers are 10 years later lol). I think if they were to hire a few capable s'poreans (ahem..like me..haha), they would be well on their way to churning out excellent 2nd tier journals. Meanwhile, let's hope that their enthusiasm in research continues to grow and that their motivations are not driven by the monetary rewards (did I mention PIs and co-PIs get monetary incentives??? kind of unfair because us downlines who actually do the nitty-gritty don't get such bonuses...hmpf!).

[let us drive already!]

Today was an excellent example why women should be allowed to drive here. Asked hubby to drop me at KKUH although I had a training session at the new building. Partly because he gets grumpy when I ask him to send me there, but mainly because I didn't want to be early so that Mr S wouldn't be buaya-ing me. Who is Mr S? Well, he's a "colleague" at the new building, a fella from my hubby's neighbouring country who even after my emphasis that I was married, still tried to buaya me by asking for my number and asking if I wanted him to "show me around" the lab when our 2nd training had been postponed (during that time, we'd only had training for a centrifuge, vortex, etc...yeah like I need revision on that!).

So anyway, it took me 3 calls to finally get the guy who usually drives us. 45 mins later, after basking in the sun (I was sitting in the shade but the heat was just as bad, summer's kicking in!), he was still a no-show so I decided to move indoors to wait for Dr L so that we could go together (feel better with him around so that Mr S won't buaya me, or at least I can use Dr L as a shield lol). So anyway, the driver never turned up much much much later and by then Dr L managed to get an alternative transport and we were almost reaching the new building already. All in all, my attempt to reach there at 9.30 became 10.40. I think if I had driven, it would've just taken a bloody 5 minutes. GRRRRR!!

On a lighter note, hubby and I had a magnificent indulgence at a 4 star (I think) hotel last night. There was a Brit & Irish food festival going on and I was feeling down so hubby decided to cheer me up (he seems to like cheering me up with food...bad bad..lol). The ambience was absolutely fabulous - apart from maybe the almost-beach dining experience I've had at Msia, this was perhaps the most fantastic place I've been to. The dining area was on a lawn...the carpet grass, twinkling lights and man-made waterfall cascading down closeby and the wooden furniture made me feel like I was transported somewhere not in this country hehe. The food didn't disappoint either - from Irish stew to Lancashire hot pot to even Balti prawns. The fish-and-chips were easily the best I've tasted in a long time, it was of excellent quality and the fish was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. The lamb steak was also very juicy, wayyyy better than the regular steak place we've been to twice and always disappoints me in regards to the meat (u'd think I'd learnt my lesson right?? what to do...hubby doesn't eat meat here so I have to satisfy my meat cravings at restaurants heh). Gosh, I sound like I'm advertising for them. The only disapponting bit were the desserts, which was a bummer because I usually live for desserts during buffets (my ex-colleague G can vouch for it lol) but these had such weird tastes that we were literally left confused whether they were good or bad.

When the bill came our hearts did a flip over, because neither of us knew how much the buffet was gonna cost (can't possibly ask them the price then turn away when we find it too expensive right? hehe). It came up to about $190 (yes, sgd after conversion), making it about $95 per person. Must've been one of the most luxurious meals I've ever had. So now Mr F says no more dining out for the next 3 months..hahaha. Let's see how that happens...maybe I'll be upset again and he'll cheer me up again, at a less expensive place lol. And don't forget, in 2 months time will be our one year anniversary (wow, time flies!!) and my b'day :P

A perfect ending to that wonderful dinner would be to win the lucky draw to Ireland. So fingers crossed! :)

P.S. I've been wondering whether ppl are still reading this blog and was pleasantly surprised when G made a comment about one of my posts. Yay! Anymore readers out there...show urself! Haha.

[reminiscing]

Had a mini moment reminiscing as I read some posts while editing my blog. Since it's sort of an anonymous one (not that anyone has ever linked characters in the blog to me, from what I know at least), I searched for names that I accidentally forgot to de-identify e.g. Sakura's real name instead of Sakura, and changed them to pseudo names. Very free right? Haha. Well, I am actually lol. So friends don't worry, your secrets won't be divulged on my blog, knowingly at least.. :P

So anyway, even came across posts about Sakura going mad studying for her O-levels (she used a puncher on my hair..gasp!) and I was thinking, wow, now she's already in her 2nd year of uni. Time flies. I still remember setting up this blog to write down about my Sweden adventures. Perhaps in a few years time I'll be reminiscing about my "wonderful" time in S%%%% (btw, the reason I don't type that out is so that no one gets offended in case I bitch about the place lol).