[Don't judge]

I'm writing this not as a "warning" to others, but more so of a reminder to myself, of my previous folly.

I used to judge parents/mothers. Not that I attacked them per se but since that is the topic close to heart these days, that's what I'm focusing on.

One of the memories of my "judgemental" views that came to mind recently was when my Burmese friend told me that shortly after the birth of her daughter, she chose to work at the Myanmar-Laos border (or something of the sort) because she needed to be away. She was not into the whole mummyhood thing and needed some distance.Of course I gasped, not realising the emotions she must have been experiencing.

Many years later as a mummy now I realise how she must have felt.  No, she was not abandoning her child, she was doing what was best for her family.

I had always suspected that I wasn't going to be the stay-at-home mum, especially if I had still been in Sg.  Nothing against SAHMs but I am the independent, go-getter person that needs to be not confined at home with a baby or not.  Lately however, especially because of experiencing a less than welcoming work environment, coupled with the desire to watch my precious prince grow up, as well as fill the void I felt when (some) other mums used to be around with their children in my primary school days, I decided that being a SAHM would not be a bad idea afterall.  And of course the environment here is very condusive for SAHMs, coupled with societal pressure and all.

And then comes the BUT...

But...my husband will not allow it.  No, he is not some money grabbing man who wants to profit from his wife's earning.  The total opposite is true - he wants H's mummy to be sane with exposure to the outside world.  He knows that as much as Ibu enjoys looking after the lil one, she'll be at her wits' end bored by the third day at home, knowing that there's no work waiting for her in her inbox.

Unfortunately in my 3 months back here I have already faced a few comments of how I'm seemingly neglecting my child.  2 from people I'm not even close with.  One said "Leave your job; it doesn't need you, but your son does."

Well, thank you very much for your advise, as if I didn't know that already.  To these people, who probably have set ideas on how mummies should be at home 24/7, JUST BECAUSE I "STILL" WORK DOES NOT MEAN I LOVE MY BABY ANY LESS. So please, keep your gasps and uninvited comments to yourself. Thank you.

[I could]

I could watch you sleep all day
Your closed eyes so peaceful are they
As you stretch and yawn so innocently
I hope your dreams make you happy

I could play with you all day
Make you laugh cheerful and gay
Your giggles brighten up my dull hours
I hope for everyone you have these powers

I could hold you in my arms all day
With you all my fears allay
Your curious gaze and wondering fingers
When you're away a thought or two always lingers

For you, I could.

[a new trick a day]

I'm really blessed to be able to watch my son grow. Everytime I feel down about being in this socially pathetic place, I remind myself about this blessing.

Lil H seems to have a new trick up his sleeves, or onesies so to speak, every day. One day he tries to pull himself up when we hold his hand, next day he is playing with the hanging toys on his play mat, another day he rolls over.  Which mum wouldn't want to be there to watch her child roll over for the first time? Alhamdulillah.

Today he came up with yet another trick.  He has been trying to pull the hanging toys into his mouth, and gets frustrated when he fails. Today he was MashaAllah so smart - he pulled his head up and pulled the toy at the same time, and finally managed to put it in his mouth. Doing crunches so young eh?

He's also been trying to get his toes into his mouth. He had not been successful yet, but as of yesterday while I was cleaning his poo-poo, he managed to get it in. Maybe he feels more flexible when his bottom is free-and-easy. Lol.

Oh my growing son, I could never get bored watching you. This morning I was actually bored waiting for him to wake up (cos I got up way earlier than him). The moment he woke up I smothered him with kisses, not before he gave me his precious "good morning" smile. Oh the wonderful moments of having a child. =)

[My First Mother's Day!]

Wee! Sent by his proxy, but I'm beaming nonetheless. Happy Mother's Day to all mummies out there! =)

P.S. H gave me the sweetest of smiles this morning when he woke up. Must've been his way of wishing me Happy Mummy's Day :)

[aww-ful moment]

Had a sudden recollection of how the hubz used to drive down all the way to my deserted office location with lunch, just so that I would not get hypo or puke because of not eating.

He loves me. =)

[our 4 month old]

It's been some time since I last blogged. Guess I'm losing interest now after finding out that no one reads my blog. Plus the hectic schedule of handling a baby while trying to work leaves me not much time for leisure, and whatever leisure time is best spent SLEEPING. Ok, maybe not sleeping all the time but resting. Rest is preciousuthese days. Very precious.

Our prince is already 4 months old. By SG standards I'd have gone back to work full time now. I'm glad I'm not in Sg because although I had to go back to work earlier, I still have time to watch him grow when I work from home.

The biggest moment was on 23rd March April (omg where did time fly to??) when I sort of saw him rolling. At least the aftermath of it, which was a very shocked looked on his face. I guess he wasn't expecting to end up on his tummy. I was so excited I called Baba to tell him about his son's feat. He hasn't rolled again since, but he's achieving other milestones.  For instance, he now wants to sit up, so when we hold his tiny hands, he actually pulls himself up to sitting position. The most adorable is when he does his "pilates" pose - using the momentum of his legs in the air to pull him up to sitting position, with our help of course. He's also starting to make more noises - apart from the ng-geee and gee gee. Now it's like he's babbling more and having conversations with us.  He's also very curious about what we do. Every motion like me drinking or lifting up something, his eyes will follow.

Had excellent news at his appointment last week where he was declared ASD free. Yay! With no hole in his heart now, I told Baba our lion can go scuba diving - in 20 year's time..lol. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for the wonderful news!

Here's a pic of my lil Pilates instructor. Oh I wish I were as agile as him!

P.S. Did I also mention that most of his clothes are going into the "undersized" bag now? Explains his oversized shorts in the pic heh. He's growing!!