[glow or grow?]

Someone commented that I should be having a pregnancy glow now that I'm in the 5th month.

Frankly speaking, I don't see any pregnancy glow but instead just pregnancy grow. Growing swollen ankles, growing tummy, growing number of stretch marks so soon..gah.

Feels like I'm having one of the most unglamorous pregnancies actually.  Hopefully the anecdote "it gets better" will be true for subsequent pregnancies.

I have rashes on my shoulders, and the weirdest part is that they're concentrated solely on where the sleeves of my tops are (is that supposed to be a comfort?).  I have stretch marks so soon. My tummy is expanding so fast I feel like a walrus who will soon be promoted to a whale.  I have swollen ankles which have become so big I only have one pair of shoes I can fit into, and they're wearing out fast.  I have facial acne outbreaks more often and some on my back too, which unfortunately some people like to point out and make me feel even worse.  I have a sour taste in my mouth quite often which I don't know how to eliminate and makes eating somewhat unappealing.  I have some hyperpigmented creases at my neck and the linea nigra down my belly.  My fainting episode has apparently been attributed to low-ish iron levels so I hope the iron pills do a better job otherwise I've been warned that I might need iron infusions in month 7 onwards.  As if these pleasures of pregnancy were not bad enough, yesterday came the epitomy of all embarrassments, I had blood in my stool.  I shall not go into details the embarrassing part but thank goodness no one checked me when I was at the ER, just some tests and lots of questions to rule out anything more serious. Diagnosis: hemorrhoids.  Seems it's common during pregnancy because of the pressure on the blood vessels in the you-know-where, go figure, I would've never associated the two at all.  I feel like if there were a checklist of the side effects of pregnancy, most of them would be ticked by now.

Some people's theories are that since it's a boy, my body is reacting to the extra testosterone.  Others comfort me that when it's a girl, I will feel the glow. Let's hope.

Whatever it is, I'm grateful to have hubby's support. Yeah he tries to annoy me sometimes (and succeeds) by going "Eeee, look at the rashes on your shoulders", but most times, he comforts me by saying I'm still the most beautiful woman to him, if not more.  One time I was feeling so insecure, he reassured me by saying that even though I felt I had a hideous tummy, when he sees it, he doesn't think of me as a walrus, but instead that it's our boy growing inside of me. I'm tearing just thinking of his sweet words =)

I know this is all going to go away when baby comes. Right now I just have to convince myself that walrus or not, whatever I'm going through is worth it.

[it's a....]

So we know the gender of our baby. Seems our instincts were right after all. Woot!

Actually we have known for awhile (like two entries ago..which was why I wanted to update on bubs), but we didn't tell non-family till our most recent scan last weekend. I was quite freaked out by the term "foetal anomaly scan" and kept worrying about the outcome but Alhamdulillah, bubs is doing good.  He was so cheerful during our scan and cooperative as always.  I was already grinning when I saw the shadow of his face on the normal ultrasound, when we could see his image more clearly during the 3D version, I was so excited the radiologist told me to keep still so she could do her job. Haha. Aiyah, let mummy be excited lah!  He seemed to be smiling throughout the scan, at first covering his face then letting us see it clearly.  Everyone I've showed the pic to says he's just adorable...of course lah...my baby what...hahaha. Sakura says it's because he's in a no stress environment so he's happy...maybe if he's in Sg he won't smile as much lol.

Ok, so I guess I've already said it's a he..so no need to declare explicitly.  My emotions were mixed - from the excitement of determining "the baby's" gender (now we can call it a "he" instead of "it" for sure) to being a little disappointed that I won't be buying cute pretty (pink) dresses anytime soon, to being totally in love with hubby again thinking that a part of him is in me.  It's like I've fallen all over in love with Mr F again, on a different level (note: not that I'd fallen out of love with him heh). 

If there's one way of describing how I'm feeling these days it's this: I've always been skeptical but now I know what it means to fall in love with someone even before knowing them.  SG's song "I knew I loved you before I met you" rings so true now... No way is that line cliche anymore.  Call it mushy motherhood feelings, but it's totally real.  We talk to him everyday, I stare at his ultrasound pics constantly, am amazed everytime I see the "alien" movements in my tummy. I simply can't wait to meet him.  4 months suddenly seems so long!

He's a really good boy and InshaAllah he will come out healthy, happy and calm like he is right now.  My little one, we love you so much. Hope to see you soon!

 

Our cheerful boy at 21 weeks...thank God for technology eh?

(labels were added for the in-laws :P)

[what was the update about?]

So much for updating my previous post. Now I've forgotten what I wanted to write about. Growing old lol.

The only thing I remember that I wanted to post about was my birthday this year. Unlike the last, this year's one was pretty fun...met up with the DH gang and had a sumptious dinner at an Indian restaurant.  The best part was the cake..yummy BR cookies and cream cake...mmm.  The food was alright, the company was good, albeit for the fact that there was too much Urdu so I couldn't catch most of the jokes. And hubby didn't understand my eye signals so he only translated jokes when I asked him to. Sigh.  I'd wanted to meet Y the day after, but sadly she was not feeling well and I guess with Ramadan the next day, it was a good thing to rest.

August went by very fast. Seems that fasting or not, Ramadan passes very fast. Can't believe summer is coming to an end (now that there's a concept of "summer" here, I can comment on it).  Sometimes I wonder if I wasted it away. But seeing the amount of work I did, I guess I didn't.

National Day this year was a homely affair. We had dinner at a M'sian restaurant (the irony) and the catching up with faces you only see once a year was good (sounds like a typical Hari Raya affair in our family haha).  The food was yummy and although the venue was a "step down" from last year's Four Season's, Mr Ambassador had a point - better to have local food which is something that sort of gels us together as S'poreans rather than international food at some posh place that not all can appreciate, especially seeing the occassion.  Hubz must be very excited about little bubs cos now even the Ambassador knows I'm preggie.  They were talking when hubz called me over and first thing Mr Wong did was to congratulate me, and I was taken aback. Heh.  He's a nice guy though and offered some advice here and there.  He even offered advice about how to deal with subsequent children but I was like...err..one by one please. Lol. Reminds me of how MIL nicely sms-ed and said 6 children would be ideal.  SIX? My God, at the rate of how I'm feeling, I can't even think when we'll have the next one. Exhausted even before baby is born...after how?? Unforunately hubz had to go back to office (yes, at 9pm!) so we had to leave early..gah.  I hate HW now, seriously, making him work long hours is one thing, but can't you cut some slack during Ramadan?? ROAR.

A pregnant and bloated me

(wore my Hari Raya baju kurung early just in case by the time it comes, I can't fit into it anymore :P)

they came over to my seat to take pics so that pregnant lady doesn't have to walk...I'm not disabled lah lol

(SW thought I was putting on weight, apparently SL had to tell her I was preggie...haha)

Seems I do have stuff to write about afterall, it's all coming back to me now...

Ramadan this year has it's new challenges for me.  I kind of knew I would not be able to fast because I have a bubs who doesn't allow me to go off schedule with my food intake.  I tried one weekend and only lasted one day.  By the 2nd day at noon I felt the nausea creeping up again and since I was a little late in tackling it, out came gastric juices and awhile later whatever I tried to eat. Sigh.  Feel guilty but I shall remember that God is kind and doesn't want us to suffer.  Another struggle is to get enough energy to cook for Mr F.  It's especially tough when he expects me to cook even though I feel like crap, or maybe it's just me over-reading or being over-sensitive about his comments the first couple of times I tried to ask him to get food from outside.  That coupled with odd sleeping/waking hours - I've been cooking at all sorts of odd times of the day. First is the rush for iftar around 5 when I've napped for an hour (not enough) after getting home from work, then whatever time I have energy to cook for sahor (my "achievement" so far is cooking at 2am - not a very good idea seeing that being half awake in the kitchen has it's dangers...).  Sometimes with the odd hours, I find that my sleep is disturbed and I only get about 5 hours of sleep a day. Sigh. I even managed to get one "stitch" (they use steri-strips these days..) from rushing to cook iftar. That is another story to tell heh.

Even then, I'm amazed I managed well the two-thirds of it.  Only the last few days I've been more lenient to myself, declaring defeat when I can't make it to the kitchen.  It's probably not a good thing but this year I feel like I can't wait for Ramadan to be over so that I don't have to struggle in the kitchen.  I sound like a Ramadan grinch right now..ha.  6 days to go..I can do it!

Looking forward to our Eid break...hope we have fun together! :)

[halfway there!]

Wow, time really does fly. I think I was so pre-occupied with coping with the woes of carrying Little Peanut that time must have flown out the window.  Either that or I've been quite busy with work so I didn't notice time flying by.  Somehow, my baby ticker also flew away, so I had to re-paste another one...haha.  Am glad that we're already halfway there. Can't wait to see you soon Baby! This also spells that I'm closer to going home...yay!

Not sure where to start with updates so I'll probably go chronologically.  My habibi was so generous - apart from the impromptu dinner, the flowers, he totally surprised me with an LV clutch bag. Wow! My first ever (very) branded thing. Hehe.  I kind of suspected he was up to something because on the day he was supposed to fetch me from shopping, he left me with the girls while he disappeared into thin air.  Later on when I said I was done, he was still "busy" and when he reappeared, he had a paper bag in his hand which he was trying very hard to hide.  Later when we got into the car, he handed it to me and I was like WHOAAAAA. Haha. Needless to say, I was grinning big time - all the way home - so much so my cheeks were aching from smiling too widely.  Thank you darling!!



my first (and hopefully not last) LV



lots of compartments...hubby knows my taste!

My LV deserves a photoshoot..teehee

As if those were not wonderful surprises enough, we had a short staycation at the east coast the next weekend.  I was double surprised when hubby acceded to my request to stay in a hotel rather than a furnished apartment, and triple surprised when he said we could stay in a suite rather than the standard room. Woooo. Something told me I was going to enjoy this weekend :P  Official reason for the trip: Settle bank matters. Unofficial reason(s): A getaway for us, celebrate 2nd anni, pre-bday escape, i'm-bored-of-this place, and so on... Somehow I like our unofficial reasons better. =)

A surprise for him

Short trip to the corniche

Enjoy the weekend we did, even though we didn't do much.  We lounged around most of the time, did some shopping, caught up on sleep and enjoyed each other's company in the huge suite. I like!  Sometimes a lazy holiday is just what you need.  We drove home receiving good news on the way, S had given birth to their baby boy.  So instead of going home directly, we dropped by the hospital to see the new parents and cute lil boy.  Adorable he is..and very talkative even though he was only a few hours old lol. Definitely not like his mum :P

Our fun didn't end there...shall write more updates on the next post. Ta for now!