[over protected]

What am I to do with my life
(You will find out don't worry)
How am I supposed to know what's right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can't help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected

Ok no, I haven't become a Britney fan but the song rang in my head as I was thinking about the situation.

On Wed A and I went out for an "adventure".  Since I'd been to the spa before, and A wanted a massage badly, her husband finally relented and allowed her to come along with me. The massage was yummy but that's not the point of this post...

When they saw me standing outside a bookstore where were supposed to meet, K (A's hubby) first exclaimed: Oh no, F left you there alone??

Me (jokingly): Yeah, he always leaves me alone, sob sob, I'm used to it.

K: Oh no! I would never leave A alone. It's not safe here!

After some goodbyes and questions about "do you have pepper spray in your bag", I promised K I would take care of his wife even without a pepper spray (I have a strong kick) and she'd be safe with me.

On our way home just as I was about to open the building door, A suggested we get some ice cream and drinks at the bakalah (grocery shop) nearby.  As we made our way she exclaimed, "Wow, this is the first time I'm out on my own. I feel so free." Me: "Uhuh, you feel liberated right? Like a breath of fresh air?"  And she was chirping away, almost with a spring in her step.

This was exactly how I felt a week ago when I met Y for dinner.  Now don't get me wrong, we love our husbands and we enjoy going out with them. But with the entire scare about safety and what nots, A and I have been under the shade of "we can't go out ourselves because it's not safe without our husbands." Seems A wants to go for an internship but K is not keen on it because he doesn't trust the locals...gah.

This was the mentality I shared for more than half a year after coming here. All the DHs were warning me how it wasn't safe and this and that. I was shocked when A said she hasn't even gone down to the grocery shop on her own.  What more K wouldn’t have allowed her to come with me had I not had a driver i.e. no taxis.  Gladly I met the S'porean nurses last August and from there I thought, wow, if these girls are "daring" enough to go out on their own, and they're single, why can't I? Afterall, even if I get lost in the taxi, I can always call my husband to redirect the driver home.  Even the mum of the kid I was tuitioning would go out on her own in the days so from there I started gathering courage.

Now 1 year and 3 months after first stepping foot here, I wouldn't say I'm totally "adventurous", but I'm not as afraid to go out on my own. It’s not about being complacent about my safety, but it’s unhealthy to be always paranoid to the point of being miserable about being cooped up within four walls.  Baby steps are the way to go.  My main worry is that I haven't memorised my way home except from nearby places, and that I don't speak the same language as the taxi drivers who can be trusted.  My driver is well, another story.  So far my strategy is to get hubby to drive me to wherever I want to go, and I'd memorise the route so that I can take a cab back. Actually the memorisation part hasn't been absolutely necessary because most of the drivers of the South Asian kind know where I'm referring to (for some reason the locals always seem confused...) but for my own peace of mind, at least I know I'm going in the right direction home.

Looking forward to venturing the town more often on my own, or rather with my girlfriends. Am already bugging Y about her next off day. We are planning to paint another mall red! ;)