[ramblings]

When I was down writing helped me vent my frustrations. I guess it's a good way of expressing yourself in general, so I've decided that I shall blog more instead of once a month. And since I'm learning more and more about this country everyday, perhaps I shall do a series of posts about it. Haven't decided how many, so let's just go with the flow. Hehe.

I'll start today's post with a different topic though, since I just realised I haven't blogged about it - My arrival here and how my darling hubby welcomed me.

"I touched down about 15 mins early and was anxious about going through immigration. I'd heard enough stories to wonder if they'd let a "single" woman travel alone. Plus I'd wanted to rebel so I was wearing a short top, jeans and a pink scarf. But my fears were unfounded, because everything went smoothly. The only minor hiccup was security asking me for my passport after I passed immigration, to which he just read out my husband's name (???) and let me pass.

The moment I stepped out I looked around for my baby. Unlike previous meetings where he could scoop me up and hug me (ok, don't count the meeting where our families were present..and well..he didn't really scoop me...heh), this one was very sober . After kissing my forehead he handed me the abaya to wear, to which I protested "Hey look that lady isn't wearing one!" Lol. I didn't want him to get into trouble so being the good wife I was (ahem), I put it on and we headed to the carpark where the winter night greeted me. On the passenger seat was a rose and my fave choc (Galaxy, they don't have it in Sg) and on the radio was our song. Hee :). Compared to other meetings, I wasn't as emo this time - perhaps because I knew this time things were gonna be different. We didn't need to part after a week.

Dinner was in his car, so pathetic because the restaurant we bought the pizzas from didn't have a family section. "Welcome to Saudi" was Mr F's retort. I was like, wow, why do I hate it already?!After that, we drove to what I'd call home for awhile. Mr F asked me to wait in the car while he went up with my first luggage bag. I did find it a bit strange as to why he didn't just let me in. But you'll find out why soon...

As I stepped into the house, the lights were dimmed. And trailing the way to our bedroom were candles lit up and roses placed on the floor. On our bed was another rose and another bar of Galaxy and needless to say, that brought (good) tears to my eyes.

Thank you Mr F for making my debut here so memorable."

[4 months and counting]

It hasn't exactly been 4 months but well, just a few days away.

Haven't blogged much cos well, nothing very exciting has been happening. Our attempt to visit the iris fields at the beginning of the month turned out to be...well...let's just say the official reason is bcos there was poor visibility cos of the sandstorm. Lol.

I'm coping much better, tho I still miss home a lot. Less dreams of being back in Singapore and more confident that I'll survive here. Sorta. This doesn't include the couple of melt downs I had about being here. Hubby said we'll work towards going back to Sg end of the year...keeping my fingers, toes, limbs, whatever else possible crossed.

I didn't want this to be a melancholy entry...but hmmm...

As of 3 wks ago been having extremely sharp pain in my stomach. And I don't even mean abdomen like how u need to crap kinda pain...I really mean STOMACH pain...like 2cm below the sternum. Which is scary. Especially when it's at night and you can't sleep because every possible position doesn't ease the pain. 2 wks ago had a visit to the A&E bcos I couldn't take it anymore. And this was like after a LOT of resistance, bcos I hate hospitals, especially when I have to go at 4am in the morning. Diagnoses have been conflicting...the A&E dr and specialist at the usual hospital we go to think it's gastritis, but my big boss things it's IBS (irritable bowel syndrome - possibly brought on by the stress of moving, new envirnoment, etc). Whatever it is, I just hope the pain goes away soon. I need sleep.

The pain is much lesser now. Please pray that I get well soon.

Meanwhile, our house is turning into more of a home. We've got a flower pot on our tv cabinet, a side table and a painting up in the living room and curtains to shield us from the freaking strong summer sun. The skies decided to skip spring this year (just as I was enjoying the cool winter) - which explains the sandstorms. Note: sandstorms are formed when there are rapid changes in the temperature...I guess this causes wind currents, which blow sand from the deserts into the city. On a bad day, the whole world just looks yellow like a perpetual sunset, except it's far from pretty because of the poor visibility. Hubby's been so protective he doesn't let me go out during sandstorms so that my asthma doesn't get triggered (awww). Ah and I should add, the house is also looking more lived in..i.e. messier..lol. :)

[3 months and counting]

Since there won't be a 29 Feb, I guess today marks 3 months of being here. Though when it gets lonely sometimes I feel like I've been here for 3 decades. Ok ok, shall not exaggerate...3 years perhaps? Haha.

I guess I'm coping much better than 2 months ago, much less "nightmares" of friends "leaving/forgetting me", more confident that there are people to support me in my adventure here. So to all those who have sent a random email to ask how I am (and HP's "Girl's Talk" emails heh), sms-ed me occasionally and chatted with me on msn, thank you very much for keeping me going. The littlest gesture means a big deal to me. At least I know I'm alone but not alone.

I'm caught between coming home in June for vacations because I really really wanna see the people I love SOON and help Sakura prepare for her exchange in Denmark, and coming home in Dec to help out/attend a very good friend's wedding. Two weddings on the same weekend in fact. How how?? Gah, hate to be caught in a tight situation. Maybe I shall toss a coin heh.

Here's my fave pics of the month, taken at the Edge of the World. Rest of the pics can be found on facebook - here and here. It was my first meeting with a bunch of Singaporeans I got in touch with online. Well sort of, a S'porean married to a Malaysian, a Singaporean from the embassy, and 2 PRCs who claim to be S'poreans (was disappointed to find this out the moment they spoke lol). It was a really adventurous trip, especially when we got off road onto the rocky desert terrain. The 4 wheel drive we rented wasn't up to it (brr this reaffirms my belief that Hyundai batteries suck) so it gave up several times during the trek to the desert. Thank goodness we had a team leader (the M'sian) who was well equipped and very experienced who jump started our car several times lol. I got to drive in the desert (100 m perhaps? I'm satisfied lol), go around without my abaya for once, and made friends with the group, as well as have fun with my colleagues who tagged along with us. The picnic under the acacia trees was also fun..good food...I had kuih baulu and love letters all the way from Sg...yay!! Excellent trip! Looking forward to more adventures. Unfortunately the weather is getting warmer, so it might not be for awhile till we go out next. But for this weekend, we're watching the irises bloom. Did I mention that I initially had to coerce hubby into going for this trip, but after the trip, he was like "we'll go for more trips next time!". Wee! ;)

overhangs

dried up streams

literally standing on the edge

rocks rocks and more rocks

[Happy Valentine's Day]

I've learnt that you do not need a specially designated day to tell the one you love how much you love them, nor a day for them to tell you how much they love you. I must admit that when I was Mr F's "girlfriend" (technically only 2 years, let's not count the other 4 years of our love-hate r'ship lol), I was disappointed when I didn't get anything for V day. When he came over to Sg to meet my family (in March 08), we were like, ok, we have to make up for the lack/inability to celebrate V day together. Same thing for V day 09..when I didn't get flowers, I was like sob sob.

V day 2010 marks our first "celebration" together. We're no longer a virtual couple who has to send e-cards to each other (well we still could heh). But strangely enough, this was what I requested from my dear hubby: Please don't buy me gifts. Why? Well, as cliche as it may sound, I've realised that when you know how much you're loved everyday, you don't need a special day to commemorate your love. Especially a commercially special day. Though Mr F asked me what I wanted, I said I had everything I needed (literally and mushy-ly) and I really had no need to receive anything from him today. I wasn't surprised when he said he didn't want anything because he says that for every occasion...birthday, V day, wedding day, gah..the list goes on, sometimes it gets me frustrated lol. Ok ok I shall not deviate...

So we "celebrated" V day very simply with a meal at Chilli's (after Applebees, food here was bleah). On a side note, since it was CNY, we ordered Shanghai boneless wings as starters lol (that turned out to be the worst dish though). I gave him a card which I made with very limited materials I had (imagine construction paper and 2 colours of pens) which miraculously made him emo.

So baby, thank you for teaching me the meaning of love. To everyone out there who does or doesn't have a valentine, tell the ones you love how much you love them, today and everyday. It could be your family, friends, or anyone who means something to you (quoted from Jam's quote from the V day movie..I think..haha) =)

With that being said, it wouldn't hurt if you wanted to go the extra mile to buy them flowers or a box of chocolate just for the sake of it. Lol :P

Oh and not forgetting, Gong Xi Fa Cai to all those celebrating it!!

[a spiritual journey]

this is gonna be a long post, so if u don't wanna get bored, navigate away..heh..

It was a unique way to celebrate our 6th month anniversay, though the date happened more by coincidence. Hubby and I took a trip to Mekkah to do our Umrah ("mini-Haj/pilgrimage"). I felt it was a little too soon to go...being religiously hopeless and all...but I guess hubby was right - do it when we have the opportunity. I was having a slight sore throat after spending a day in air con (body needed to acclimatise..haha) so was hoping and praying I wouldn't fall sick on the trip. Our bosses were pretty nice to give us 3 days off from work "just like that" (seems its a norm here). Great!

So off we go on a Tuesday afternoon, hubby being very kan chiong about being late and yet us ending up being the first ones at the bus interchange, half an hour before departure. And he calls me kiasu! The bus ride was pretty horrendous, buses here are capped at a max of 80km/h, and we were going at that speed for a freaking 10 hours, with cranky babies and loud music (albeit religious songs, which I didn't understand because they were in Urdu...gah). We stopped for dinner in the middle of nowhere and I started feeling breathless cos of the cold. I must've looked so pathetic that the lady next to us asked if I was ok, and later on another lady said something to the effect of "Oh I thought you were sick cos you were pregnant". Bleah. We arrived in Madinah about 4am, checked into our pathetic hotel and waited till it was time for morning prayers. Excites!

First destination: Prophet's Mosque. It was a chilly walk early in the morning, and as we turned the corner hubby said: Prepare to be awed. And awed I was, with the majestic mosque in front of me, the dazzling lights against the dawn sky making the building look even more astonishing. After Subuh we had breakfast and waited till it was time to see the 3 graves - the Prophet's, Sayidina Abu Bakar and Omar (the Prophet's companions). It was a solemn moment though I didn't get emo like I thought I would. I was more emo when I got to pray in the "Garden of Paradise" (Rawdatul Jannah) since well, praying there was equivalent to praying in Paradise itself, and access to women was only between 7.30-11.30 and yet I was privileged enough to do it. We then headed back to the cockroach-infested room (I kid not) for a much needed nap...did I mention the toilet stunk so badly neither of us used it till we had absolutely no choice? I am SO NOT STAYING THERE AGAIN!!! We spent the rest of the day and night praying, so much so I was wondering whether God would be bored of my prayers lol.
first glance of the Prophet's Mosque

Next morning ................Women's entrance:note the mechanical umbrellas outside..cool!!

By next morning, my stomach was feeling really queasy and was simply too nauseated to eat anything. After morning prayers, hubby suggested that I induce myself to vomit cos it's helped before when I was nauseated due to migraine. A good choice I guess...and so I left some souvenir at the Prophet's mosque toilet lol. I must've thrown up 2 days worth of food and didn't wanna eat anything further so that I wouldn't risk getting sick again. And so I was there, lying miserably in the awful room while hubby went to the mosque alone in the afternoon. I insisted on going for Asar since it was gonna be our last prayer at the mosque and I'm glad hubby let me go. We saw a doctor at the mosque itself and I was diagnosed with heartburn. Got meds for that and my now worsening cough...all for free...wow! Armed with the meds, we made our way for a 2 hour trip around Madinah to see some sites like the Quba mosque (first mosque in Islam), Uhud mountains (where the prominent Battle of Uhud took place), the mosque that had two Qiblats (prayer directions, Masjid Qiblatain), the grave of the matyrs of Islam and the remaining/rebuilt mosques that were built during the Battle of the Trench. At each mosque we did voluntary prayers and again I felt like I hadn't prayed so many prayers in a span of two hours lol. It was a good decision going for our tour without the group that night, because by the time we set off (we have notorious members in the bus who do not know the meaning of punctuality), it was dark and cold. And thank God for the meds, I could finally have dinner that night whilst on our journey to Mekkah.

Uhud mountain range

After another gruelling journey, we arrived at Mekkah at about 2.30am, ahead of schedule. We checked into a 5 star hotel which was almost paradise compared to the hotel in Madinah. Hubby was persistant about going for our Umrah (the actual ritual) right then though I felt it was better to nap first. I guess he had a valid point though, with our adrenalin pumping because of the excitement, it would be better to go now and snooze off later so that's what we did. I got more and more nervous as we set out for our Umrah. Would I do it right? Would God accept my prayers? What if I didn't do things correctly?

Hubby held my hand as we entered Masjid Al- Haram ("The Sacred Mosque"). The moment I looked up at the Ka'bah, I started tearing. Masha Allah, truly I was blessed for being given the chance to see the Ka'bah so soon. Never in my life would I have thought I would be in Mekkah at age 27, and here it was, standing in front of me. Words do not do justice to what I felt at that moment. As a matter of fact, I was so overwhelmed with emotions that hubby had to nudge me to pray (I made a long list lol). Wow wow wow - the Ka'bah, in front of me, in this breathtaking mosque - THE mosque. Allah is Great. Allah is Gracious. Allah is Merciful. We did our Umrah rituals including the Tawaf (circumambulating the Ka'bah 7 times), praying our 2 rakaats of prayers, drinking zam zam water and finally heading to Safa and Marwah for the Sa'ee. Might I add here that thanks to my hubby's wise decision, the place wasn't crowded at that time, and these two humble servants of God had the highest privilege of actually kissing the Black Stone at the corner of the Ka'bah (that too after having to wait in line only for a couple of minutes), touch the Ka'bah wall at another corner (Rukn al Yamani) and even pray between the Hijr and the Ka'bah (equivalent to praying in the Ka'bah itself). Although F had been there several times before, he said going with his wife was a blessing since this time he finally got to kiss the stone. Hee :) I must say I was so nervous the whole time, I even forgot what to say at times. Thank God for having F beside me, guiding me everytime I froze up. The 7 laps of Sa'ee wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, and we even managed to complete it before Subuh prayers. Wow, our Umrah was over. Dear Allah, please accept our prayers and forgive our sins and give us the chance to visit Your House again.

................................................................... This Is It!

We went back to our hotel and slept like we hadn't slept in days (which was partially true) and even missed Zohor..oops :P (this was why doing Umrah first thing we arrived was a brilliant idea). I didn't go for Asar because my chest wasn't feeling so good, so prayed in the room instead. And I was like - wow, talk about praying in the direction of the Ka'bah...our room was barely 200m from it. We did our last Tawaf the next day and packed for home. Oh, that was after I did a little shopping of course..hehe. The ride home was slightly shorter but just as painful, with my sore throat and bad cough to manage as well. We did reach home safely though, All Praises to Allah for providing us with a safe journey and a magnificent experience. Maybe my sickness was a way sign God was cleansing my sins. Insha Allah we will return again end of this year for the Haj. Ameen.

The pictures don't do much justice to the splendour of the place, but they will be a good reminder of our first journey the Ka'bah.

[our home]

Since I've been getting requests to see our house, here goes... (click on images to see them bigger)

As you can see, I'm very bo liao...so I have time to do these things..haha :P

We actually got the sofa, tv table and kitchen cabinets second hand...all for under $800. Cool huh..heh. Well I like how we managed to find matching sets like the sofa and the tv table, and the kitchen cabinets go really well with the wall. Love how the walls are painted in vibrant colours too. We didn't expect the bedroom furniture to be so huge but they literally scaled it up from the "queen size" one we saw...which explains our huge headboard (if u can stretch ur imagination a lil haha). Love our home!! Oh and forgot to caption: caught the Honda in its full glory, cos hubby rarely sends it for washing haha. And even this time, it was cos of my coercion hehehe. He has a point actually, there's not much point in washing it regularly cos with the amount of sand/dust here and with his car being black, it got dirty by the fourth day..bleah. I shall just admire it in this pic where it looks really sexy...haha.

[one month]

"Let's celebrate tomorrow with a dinner!"
"Why? Because I survived one month here?"
"No, to celebrate our one month together."

Ah, as you can see, we have different ideas about my one month here heh.

• I've gotten used to my monochrome scenery (black & white clothes, sandy coloured buildings) , but I still forget to put on my abaya sometimes (before leaving the house that is).

• I've gotten used to the well-conceived huge shopping malls and giant hypermarkets, but I can't come to terms that that will be my main form of entertainment outside the house for awhile.

• I've gotten used to watching movie after movie at home, and now that we have a TV & DVD player, we don't have to be in our room all the time; but as before, I still feel that I'm wasting my time away when I'm watching a movie at home.
  
  
• I like trying new recipes but I miss the taste of that particular chilli and tamarind that I use to make a really good sambal.

• I love the winter but my skin is getting really really dry.
  
  
• I know I should be making new friends, but I so so miss the ones I left.
  
  
• I love the time I spend with my husband, but beneath that, I still (literally) dream of Sg every night since I've been here. If dreams are a reflection of what you yearn for, boy is that a strong indication.

It's been a month and I miss my family and friends terribly. I hope I get used to living abroad, cos this month sure wasn't easy. But yes I shall trudge on. Thanks honey for being patient with my homesickness, and for looking after me so well.

[a new beginning]

It'll be two weeks tomorrow since I left my comfort zone. Wow. Seems longer than that..haha. Today was also the "official" day I started work, though I'm still working from home now (yeah yeah I know, I'm supposed to be WORKing right now..hehe).

How has life been? Well for starters, it was great that we got to celebrate our 5th month together, together. Like, finally. Things have been moving pretty fast. In the first few days I was here, we were busy setting up the house. And in Mr F's efficient shopping style, we managed to buy almost all the things we need for our house - from the sofa set to dining table to kitchen cabinets and stove. So efficient right? Haha. I was so drained by the end of it, by Thur that week I was like, ok, we seriously need to take a break on Fri (esp since Mr F was gonna start work on Sat). Must say the one week off for Eid was a Gbless since we finished so many things then. Now we're only left with a TV and DVD player, which upon my "nagging", F agreed to getting on his next pay. Hehe.

How's the apartment? It's a nice two bedroom apt...tho I can't say much about the living room. It's so tiny we decided to be a little creative, by making the 2nd bedroom into the living room instead, and leaving the current living room to be our dining place. Otherwise, the house is great - bedrooms are big, toilets are alright. We're proud to finally say we have a HOME. (Though not proud enough to invite people yet, that will be done once my cooking skills improve haha).

apt from outside. ours is at the 9 o'clock position

How's Riyadh? Well, to be honest the city looks better than I expected. Neat roads and housing, clean and a little green (how green can desert country get right? heh) and good buildings. But that being said, reality struck in on the very first night here - we were waiting 20 mins at a pizza place, and the waiter finally comes with 2 boxes of pizza. Why? It was a "singles restaurant" i.e. only men allowed to dine there. When F asked if we could stay and eat since there was no one there, the waiter said it wasn't a problem for them, but if the religious police came by, we were the ones who would be in trouble. And so, our first dinner was in his car. Welcome to Saudi... As if that wasn't annoying enough, the next day we tried 2 places for lunch, both were "singles" restaurants, and finally one filipino directed us to McDonald's cos "that's the only place here that has family section". I was like wow, I came all the way here to eat McD??? Bleah. To top it off, the cubicles we sat in had "curtains" so that we could get more privacy "enclosed". Even at food courts there's a cordoned off section for "families" (i.e. women/families) by high walls. Hmmmm. I shall not dwell further on this. I've just told F to make sure he knows where "family restaurants" are so that I don't have to get pissed off everytime we're rejected from some place. Brrr. It's also annoying that I can't go out without Mr F cos there is virtually no public transport here other than taxis (or I can walk of course), but right now, I don't think I dare to take taxis yet. It's not that they aren't safe, it's just cos the cabbies don't speak much English. It's a lil overwhelming knowing you have to be so dependent on someone. Sigh...

"family restaurant" cubicle with an accordian style door for more privacy


one thing i can't complain about is the excellent malls they have - here's one with a safari themed deco

my monochrome life has started....

How's work? Work's great. I've got very flexible bosses who let me work from home, partly cos they don't have a permanent office yet. As you can see, I don't think that's a very good option for me cos I get distracted...haha. They're very warm and friendly, a far cry from what I imagined them to be - big burly strict men lol. Spent the last few days at work being introduced to the 2 hospitals I will be in touch with and I must say that people here are very friendly. Never did I enter a room where people were not smiling. And Dr A is so popular that the nurses just greet him fervently as he was rushing me along corridoors bringing me place to place, promising me that I'll definitely get lose in the place when I was there on my own lol. I was apparently employed because of my high-standing coming from NUS (they look up to NUS) and cos I have experience writing manuscripts. I was like wow, in SG the few papers I wrote would've been nothing, but over here they were impressed. Good for me anyway, I can pretend that I'm super brilliant. The research prospects sounds promising, and hopefully I can get to dabble in some of the things they suggested.

And the most popular question of all...How is my REAL married life? Now that I really have one..haha. It's been great I must say. We didn't fight for a record amount of time (we seemed to fight almost every other day online for all sorts of petty reasons...I attribute the fighting to miscommunications that occur while being in a long-distance relationship). Mr F has been extremely supportive, especially when I've been feeling very homesick (I miss you all so much!!). He's also helpful around the house, which is so great since I hate doing housework (alone)! We're still getting used to each others quirks (like he has to put up with the noises I make while stretching in the morning lol, I have to put up with his running to the PC the moment he wakes up...prob a habit he inculcated when he woke up at 5am daily to chat with me heh).

Guess that's all to update for now. Hope more exciting things pop up for me to update heh. See ya!

[till we meet again]

Will be off to start my new life in approx 12 hours time. The time has finally come...wow. The past few weeks have zoomed by, with lots of things at work needed to be tied up (with my darling prof who loves to give more work when someone is leaving..gah), meeting up with friends and packing.

The goodbyes have been bittersweet. I'm really touched that so many friends wanted to meet up, even a few who haven't been in constant contact. I've also probaby put on a lot of weight cos I've been eating and eating and eating, treats or otherwise lol. Have also become a lil thick skinned: when ppl say they wanna treat I'll gladly accept instead of refusing. Haha. This is in light of the fact that I've been going out almost every single day, and dining isn't very cheap. Plus since I'm the "VIP", it doesn't hurt to be treated like one..hahaha :P

Definitely gonna miss my friends - they've been there for me a lot. Please keep in touch online, I still need you around. You guys rock my world! Can't say yet when I'll be back for hols, but hopefully we'll meet again soon.

To my darling Auntie, cousin, sis...gonna miss u lots n lots n lots. Don't be stingy with sending overseas sms k? What's 15 cents compared to lonely me right? Hehe. I shall be back in Singapore one day, with a vengeance.. ;)

This is it....

[This Is It!]

The clock is ticking fast. Can't believe 3 weeks ago I booked tix for MJ's movie, and tmr we're gonna watch it. There I was thinking, that's still a long way to go. 3 weeks have past, and the next 3 weeks will probably zoom by too. Yikes!

Things seem to be happening really smoothly. From worrying about whether MB would get the visa done on time (2 weeks all in all instead of the month we expected), to wondering whether the freaking expensive shit test results would be done on time (8 days instead of the 4 weeks they warned me about), to worrying [again] whether the Saudi embassy over here would process it fast enough since they're busy processing Haj visas now (so much for the delay, they did it within 2 days instead of 3 lol). I even found my flimsy luggage bag! Now I don't have to worry about an empty bag which in itself weighs about 5kg, taking up 1/4 of my valuable luggage allowance! The universe really wants me to go lol.

And as Auntie said, wow, it's getting more and more real...I'm leaving soon!!!

Visa - Check
Air ticket - Check
Luggage bag - Check
Packing - Pending hehe (hardworking me has already started tho :P)
Meeting up with family/friends before I leave - In process

And most exciting of all...
Apartment - Check! Can't believe we finally have a place to call our own, even if it's temporary. It's a new apartment so that's a big bonus, equidistance from both our work places...MB really put in a lot of effort into finding the perfect place *muaks*. Can't wait to start furnishing and decorating it...wee!

[lesson kept!]

I thought I learnt my lesson when I watched "The Time Traveler's Wife" after reading the book. But no, I rushed to finish "My Sister's Keeper" before watching the movie too. And boy was I disappointed again. I guess I've gotten used to little details getting changed, such as how Campbell's long lost girlfriend Julia was totally excluded from the movie. But this was like...they changed the entire ending! Gah! Wonder why they did that - perhaps so that the masses would like it, a predictable ending. I do think though that the audience would've been more surprised at the original ending in the book. At least I was. And no, not that I like the original ending anyway. So painful. I didn't cry while reading the book, nor at the movie (only teared at the scene where they went to the beach). Surprising, since I'm an emo person..haha. Or maybe I'm currently only allergic to romantic tear-jerkers, for reasons that are obvious..heh.

Told Sakura never to let me watch book-movies after reading the books again. End of!

[sunset]

yay! decided that since i have tons of photos, i should upload one of my own as my background. since i absolutely love sunsets, and this is one of the most current ones i took from kerala, decided to put it up. pretty!

p.s. silly me didn't host the previous background myself. ah well, i used to be html stupid. not that i'm that smart now...but at least i know how to change my background...haha

[resigned]

Resigned to fate?

Well I'm not exactly sure.

But it seems God has some plans for me. And it's time to move on. Literally and figuratively.

I've resigned from my job as of today, officially. In what seems as a sudden move, even to me, I'll be leaving what I've called home for the past 27 years, to a distant land, to venture into new things.

Why the sudden move? Well, I shall let reasons be known when the time is right. Right now may be a little premature to announce things. And no, I'm not pregnant.

How am I feeling?
A little pensive about leaving a great workplace where I've been showered with care that I did not expect for the past 4 years.
A little melancholic that I'll be leaving family and friends behind.
A little disappointed that my stranger of a family has expressed almost no indication of missing me, save for my sister, aunt and cousin (I guess I shouldn't be too picky).

Unfortunately I have a very realistic husband who tells me the melancholia will get worse, instead of comforting me that things will be alright. It's not exactly what I need to hear right now. Sigh.

But I am also feeling...
Happy that I've been given a new opportunity, and so soon at that InshaAllah.
Excited about things to come.
Delighted that I'll finally be able to be with my husband.

Though I haven't bought the plane ticket yet, the date should be 29 Nov. So that I can fly off after a dear friend's wedding.

Am I ready?

I guess you can never know when you're fully ready. But it feels right, taking the plunge. God please guide me.

P.S. On a totally different note, gah, my blog pic is gone! Ery, where are u when I need u? Haha. Gotta find a new skin soon. Wow, talk about changes!

[gone too soon]

First it was MJ, now him. Someone closer to heart. It was more of shock than sadness when I heard the news. 33 - so young. Somehow it makes it more real seeing the Boyz carrying his coffin. And when Ronan broke down during the eulogy...sigh... I had a few friends who said this news reminded them of me, how I used to be so crazy over him. Well I've gotten over him, but it's still sad that someone so talented, someone I grew up listening to, someone so young, will no longer be able to share his passion with the world. Truly a star who faded a way to soon. Life is fragile. You'll be missed. Stephen Patrick David Gately - 17.03.76-11.10.09 (Ha I still rem his birthdate :P)

Stephen Gately's Boyzone bandmates have paid tribute to the singer at his funeral in Dublin.

Boyzone's Ronan Keating sobbed as he told mourners at St Laurence O'Toole Church that the world had lost one of its greatest stars.

He said: "We have lost our brother and I've lost my wing man. He will live on in our songs and whenever us four are together his spirit is alive. For Stephen we'll carry on, but it will never be the same without him. A beautiful man who is now the perfect angel. Forever young and never forgotten."

Keating and the remaining bandmates Mikey Graham, Shane Lynch and Keith Duffy joined family, neighbours and celebrity friends for the emotional farewell.

Around 3,500 fans listened outside as Keating, Duffy and Graham remembered their friend before singing together in a musical tribute.

Boyzone's manager Louis Walsh said: "Stephen was one of life's positive people with a lovely nature and he was someone who always had a smile on his face.

"He loved to laugh and joke and was always the life and soul of the party and would give everyone he met his time."

Gately was found dead last Saturday after a night out with his partner Andrew Cowles and friend Georgi Dochev on the holiday island of Majorca.

A post-mortem examination found he died from natural causes, the medical report recording pulmonary oedema or fluid on the lungs.

His body was flown home on a private plane with Mr Cowles and the remaining Boyzone members, who have had tattoos in honour of Gately with the letter "S" and dates "76 09" etched on their skin. (ITN)

[stompin' stompin'!]

1 hr and 50 mins of sheer entertainment! Wow! All these years of waiting really paid of, I finally got to watch STOMP yesterday. I was amazed at the amount of energy these guys had - they were literally bouncing around on stage hammering, pounding, tap dancing every second of the show. The moves were very well choreographed and the beats were very catchy. My fave performances were when they swung from the high wall of pots and pans and started drumming...the sound was so good that it sounded like real instruments; and when they did their signature broom stick and stomping-on-garbage cans bit we see in cinemas at the start of movies. I was also impressed at how each performance ended with a punch, sometimes expected, most of the times with a nice twist. Ah and of course, the crowd's fave "fat guy" who was the comedian of the night. When I read that the show was going to be funny, I was wondering how it could be made funny, and I certainly didn't expect it to be this hilarious, so yep, a really great job done. Engaging the audience was also a nice bit since we found out how uncoordinated we are in clapping according to rhythm lol. The lead also had a LOT of stamina, rarely saw him going in for a (long) break, maybe only during one segment of the show. Was also thinking that boy, they must be really fit to do all that stomping and banging and hitting non-stop. We also discovered new "instruments" that could be banged on, including kitchen sinks and giant rubber tyres..haha (tho din really enjoy the bit with the metal chairs especially when they dragged it on the wooden floor...eeks..luckily no goosebumps :P). Oh, and we were so enthralled by it all, that we hardly noticed that 1.5 hours had passed when they tried to do their "we're done with the show" stunt. I was so much in disbelieve I even took out my phone to check the time lol. And they didn't even have any intermission! Luckily they came back out and gave us their last round of stomping. GH and I were so into the beats that we wished it lasted longer. Definitely a worthwhile show!

[phuket hunger]

For some reason, ever since returning, I've been craving for all sorts of (unhealthy) food. Mee goreng, chocolates, pizza, tapioca chips, all things spicy, etc. It's not like I didn't eat in Phuket...though we didn't have very regular meals. And now I'm hungry all the time. And guess what? Mr F feels it too! Hmmm did Phuket put a hungry spell on us? Hahaha. Strange...

[you're my saving grace]

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

- Sasha Fierce

[i hate holidays because...]

...at the end of it, you have to return to reality. Which in my case sucks.

But still, I shall cherish the wonderful week I had with my hubby in Phuket. It was a different kind of Eid for sure, prancing around in less clothes than usual and doing wild things like visiting a go-go bar (and more hehe). Was contemplating if I should spend my "last" Eid with my family but when you live with a family of strangers who doesn't bother to fetch you from the airport after being away for a month (re: my India trip) nor ask how the experience was, I decided that spending time with someone who loves me (and shows it evidently) was more worth it.

........................................................Maya Beach

Phuket is just beautiful. The beaches are amazing - clear waters and creamy sand. Maya Beach (where Leo's "The Beach" was shot) was just awesome, with the majestic cliffs and emerald waters dominating the scenery. Though I do think Phi Phi island is a little over-rated because it wasn't THAT fantastic and the snorkeling a lil disappointing. Ah but still, can't believe that I got to snorkel with my baby - point being I got to enjoy something I love with someone I love. The feeling is great. The company was also great (Mr F and friend) - was a little worried at first that Mr R would be a little "extra" but we got along great and he knew when to disappear lol. Pics of pretty Phuket can be found here.

We cheated and said we were on our honeymoon, hence the prettily decorated bed...well it was kinda honeymoon #2 anyway hehehe.

And to top of the already fantastic week I had, I got to see Beyonce in concert at the F1 Rocks concert on Sat. It was a grueling wait after Black Eyed Peas performed - Miss Diva was the last item of the day at 12am, and this was after we started queueing at 2pm for the concert that started at 5pm so that we could be near the stage! But it was all worth it when she stepped on stage - the crowd went totally wild and she was totally awesome. We were pretty close to the stage so we got to see her upclose..wee. Her performance was really impressive and I must give it to her that she not only sings well but entertains her crowd with all her dance moves every step of the way. A talent for sure. And very sexy ;)

Right now I could die happy.

My fave song of the night. Beyonce was like, ok now this is a test of my true fans...luckily I knew the lyrics lol. And she was so touched when the whole lot of us sang along. Nice!

[chronologically impaired]

Watched The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday with my fave bunch of girls. Who knew on a weekday night at 7pm there would be so many cinema goers, so my carefully thought out plan of breaking fast in the cinema went to nowhere (ah how exciting it would've been lol). Totally forgot it was school hols so I guess that made things worse...I wasn't the only one who was exclaiming after finding out there were only single seats left. And of course Auntie will not be letting me forget my mistake about not booking tix for a long time to come since she's working AM shift today, so I decided I shall only watch movies with the two girls since they know how to let things go...hahaha. At least we ended up having a decent break fast at Pastamania (mmmm) and continued our gluttony at McCafe to kill time - lots of it - since our 7.25 movie became 9.40.

[warning...may contain spoilers]
The movie was good - if you haven't read the book. I was so excited about the book becoming a movie and since Sakura has been highly recommending it even before there was news of it becoming a movie, I picked it up finally and amazingly completed it within one week, something I haven't done in a long while. Unfortunately like most novel-turned-movies [think Harry Potter..gah], the movie was less than satisfying. And since I'd just finished reading the book, I could recall little details which left me quite unsated with some of the storyline. Not only did they change several facts - like how Henry's mum died, how Clare finally managed to conceive or how Clare (did not in the book) became as frustrated as she was about her time traveling husband - they even left out a lot of other important struggles/relationships that could've made the movie much richer e.g. Henry's desperate attempt to find a cure for himself such that he even resorts to taking not-yet-existent medication or his relationship with his psycho ex-girlfriend. I also felt that the significant image where he shouted out for Clare when he got shot left out what would have been a very heartbreaking and touching and mysterious scene all at once. Frankly speaking, if Australia managed to be 3 hours long despite it being very draggy because of the lack of a very captivating and unpredictable plot, there would have been no harm extending this movie to at least 2.5 hours since the storyline itself was interesting. Even the script was a little simple and cheesy at times, and the overall feel was that the story had been made into just a romance thing.

It did however succeed in making 3 out of 4 of us girls sob especially at the end of it (one girl being someone who can't show much emotion even when sad...hahahaha...don't kill me Jam :P). Auntie and Jam didn't find it too confusing though Jam cheated and kept asking Sakura which Henry (past or future) appeared heh. So as I said, it's a great movie to watch if you haven't read the book even if it's just for eye candies Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. Told Sakura that the moral of the story is to not marry a time-traveler, and used that piece of advice for Jam too lol. Reading the book and watching the movie made me miss MB even more; though I'm grateful that for us, we don't time-travel, it's just distance-travel that's keeping us apart. Hopefully that will change soon, in 4-5 months to be exact. And we also have end of this month to look forward to...yay! =)

[Happy Ramadan]

How can I not feel touched by this simple message from my FIL. I take comfort in the fact that even tho my MIL is cold towards me for no reason (or at least reasons reflecting her own insecurities and nothing on my doing), I have a terrific FIL who not only makes me feel welcomed in my new family, but also showers so much love on me/both of us as an item. Thanks Abbah :)