[Last Nite was a Daze]

i might have overdosed myself last nite. fell asleep almost immediately after taking my meds. went to see another doc n he said i've got bronchitis. wtf. i wanna get better soon. breathe again. i was talking to myself in my sleep last night. half awake half asleep..i remember pointing to my cup and saying out loud "i think there's no more water in it". feeling slightly better now..at least i haven't used up a whole box of tissues yet.

tv sucks. nothin good is on. i've resorted to watching nickelodeon. not bad tho, they had some awards going on, there was alyssa milano, simon cowell and halle berry (who knocked into the mike..lolz). it's lunch time n i'm hungry. but there's nothing to eat. mum's away, sakura's not at home and i don't wanna cook cos i wanna be sick n resting. bro kept calling at ard 5.30 this morning but i wasn't bothered to pick up the phone. dad rushed to bring him to see a doc this morn. wonder what he's up to. dad never rushes to bring me to the doc - he just nags me for not taking my puff. the forgotten middle child as my trainer put it. sobs.

shall occupy myself with some games now. in case i forget, happy new year.

[Eve of New Year's Eve]

haven't blogged for some time. been busy getting sick n staying sick. first i got a really bad attack in bkk, then i was over-enthusiastic abt starting my training regime so i went to the gym even tho i was feeling crap. it was fun..my trainer's a boyish cute guy who's too short for me lol.

there's been a lot of hype abt x'mas n new yr. met up with a german guy who thinks that singaporeans dunno how to celebrate the true meaning of x'mas. it seems that orchard rd is more of a crazy bazaar area than anything. it was nice getting a different perspective of what x'mas is abt. well as for me, i spent the x'mas hols at home. had food poisoning the day before - was so busy puking that i had no energy to go home so i spent the nite at flo's place. was mighty embarrassed cos i was feeling so woozy that i was behaving like a 5 yr old...or perhaps like a drunk. i kept her awake half the nite cos of my coughing. thanks sweetie for looking after me. *muak* cldn't bring sakura ice skating on sun (which was one of her worries when i told her i was sick..bleah..). flo came over on mon to cheer me up..i was bored like crap all alone at home. in the evening saki, flo n me went to the chevrons in jurong for bowling. was pretty fun except that my slipper (or rather sakura's :P) broke when i slipped on the way home. i guess that's what u get for $4 thai slippers.

[PrincessSaf on Ice]

ain't a very graceful sight. but i enjoyed myself anyway. sakura n i stood outside the skating rink at JEC for like half an hour - being both amazed at the prodigies and laughing at the not so graceful skaters (tsk tsk..ok that didn't sound so nice...). i was prompting sakura to get into the rink instead of just watching. but i was as nervous abt entering cos i haven't skated in ages. not that i used to skate a lot...just once in jc. i couldn't even walk on the ground with my skates, much less stand on the ice. so the first few rounds were spent gripping onto the handrails for life. both of us were like "no we don't wanna fall". and since they cordoned of one area for skating lessons, and since we were too scared to skate away from the handrails, we kept u-turning back and forth. sakura was pretty good...i had to beg her for a break halfway. i didn't tie my skates properly so my feet were aching. second round was pretty good. finally time was passing faster..and we even ventured out (further) away from the handrails. and on our last round, we even skated across the rink without any handrails at all. we had a break while they redid the ice. they asked those with hockey-skates to skate around for a few rounds before they did the maintenance. anybody knows why only the hockey skaters were asked to skate for awhile??

there was a 20 min break. good rest for my feet. the skates are really uncomfy. we were pretty tired by then...and the ice was so slippery (i prefered it before they redid the ice!) so we just went a couple of rounds. i managed to slip once..luckily i wasn't too far from the handrails...and the other beginners were nice enough to pull me in before something disastrous happened. our 2 hrs were up so we went off soon after that. what a rip-off..they shouldn't include icing time in the 2 hr rate.

it was a pretty fun outing. and tiring. sakura's sleeping early for the first time in 2 wks. thank god...or else i'll be having trouble sleeping with the lights on till she's finally done at 2.30am! we're gonna go skating again next weekend. anyone wanna join us?

[Speak up Girl, Speak up]

I have so many things to say, but only half the things come out. I think I think in my head too much. And I realise it more when I'm with Sakura, cos we'll be thinking the exact same thing (which sometimes freaks us out) but she'll be the one who vocalises it. Any suggestions on how I can talk more? Even when I'm thinking of what to blog, by the time I come home, I'll be like..nah I don't think they wanna hear it. Hmm...I need a pet cat. Then maybe I can talk to her. I was meeting my prof on Wed. And I had all my answers prepared. But when he asked me something...all that came out was "I don't know". wtf. Speak up girl, speak up. I'm trying.

Anyway, Sakura just got her JC posting. She'll be going to TJC. I'm happy for her; she didn't think she'd get into a good JC (NJ out of the qs cos she thinks it's for nerds..grrr). TJ's like damn far. But I guess it'll give my dad more reason to move to the east. And I'm gonna really hate that since I'll still be in NUS. 1.5 hrs of travelling, morning and evening. Come to think of it, it'll be quite a dumb move, cos she'll be in JC for only 2 yrs, and then it's 4 yrs in NUS. Oh well. If we do move, I'll be tempted to rent an apt in the west. My sis will hate me for it tho. But well... A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I've just been promoted to a full-time staff. Which is really great. The processing is gonna take long (not too long I hope..or else I can't go to Sweden for free haha). The biggest thing I'm gonna miss is waking up at 8 and going to work at 10. And no more loafing around and "working" from home...like I am now. Tsk tsk..dun tell anyone. ;)

[I Need a Thai Massage!]

Ok that about sums up my Bangkok trip. Haha. The massage was really great...first one was good but the second one was even better. Gotta go back to get another. Yeah. The end.

Well if you want a more comprehensive review of our trip...tune in to Sakura's blog. Enjoy! :) Oh yeah, the pics from the trip are here

Hey Dr G! /

Met up with one of the profs in my dept today. My first impression of him last wk was like..hey he's so cheerful. And he certainly is. We went for fieldwork today at Temasek Country Club. No, not to play golf. To do medical checkups for workers from SG Pest Assoc, and collect some blood samples at the same time. I noticed from start to end that the smile on Dr G's face was always there. He greeted the workers with a big grin, taking time to note their names and asking them how they were feeling (sincerely, that is). Then even tho his job was just to check BP and height n weight, he bothered to look thru' the questionnaire I administered to see if everything was in order and whether there was anything he should look into during the exam. I was totally impressed by the way he handled it. Even as he brought the workers to the weighing scale, he was like, "If you don't mind, pls take off ur shoes...yes that's it..." and kept giving comments like "wow so u're a tall and thin guy." "good u're fit". What a refreshing change from docs n nurses who go "HEIGHT! WEIGHT!"

I was commenting to Viv on how there was always a big grin on his face whenever he walked pass us. Later on when we were hanging around she told him that (much to my embarrassment) but he replied with a wonderful phrase, "Hey, there's many things in life to be happy about!" (and he added that he's extra happy these days cos he's a new dad...awwww...) Gosh! If only more ppl thought like that (myself included). It's so true, we tend to think of negatives - I have to work OT today, my headache is killing me. But we don't stop to think - hey at least I have a good job, my headache will get better soon.

As if I wasn't impressed enough, towards the end of the day when we had nothing much to do, one of the interns asked him a medical qs (diff b'w nasal congestion and sinuses). Any other doctor would probably have given a one sentence reply..a few lines at the most. He paused to think for a minute, and sat with us for 15 mins explaining us the differences and misconceptions. Awesome! He even went on to ask us why we asked, whether we had it, what our doc was treating us with. Oh if only my GP were as nice as him. He was quite amazed that I worked with one of the developers of some asthma machine (one of my profs in KI)- apparently he can't wait to get his hands on one set himself (there's only one such machine in SG, in NUH). We were talking abt the theory behing the machine and he was in total agreement with me (or rather with tthe Swedish prof) and he sensed my interest till he almost offered me to join in their study. Haha. We'll see :P Unfortunately it was time to get back to lab. Hope I have a good chat with him again soon!

A point in time

There's a point in time
When things you held dear
Make no sense anymore

There's a point in time
When things go so wrong
They're not worth salvaging

There's a point in time
When you realise
That black and white exist together
So will good and bad

There's a point in time
When things go so wrong
And you realise it's just time to say goodbye.

But it still hurts

Another disappointing day at the clinic

No, they didn't make me wait 2 hours this time. In fact the queue was pretty short; I only had to wait 30 mins to see the doc. I was hoping this time they'd do something more effective for my back..cos I'd been waiting to see a specialist for over a month. Had a couple of x-rays done. I was so proud that I remembered to wear non-zipper pants so that I didn't need to take them off in the x-ray gown. But then the technician went like, "Ma'am, I think there's a metal piece somewhere so please take off your pants so that we can do another x-ray". Then I looked at the x-ray and realised that omg..it was a little buckle thingy on my panty (oops I guess u dun really need the details :P). So embarrassing haha. Anyway in the end, the doc said exactly what I was complaining to him about my previous orthopaedic...since my x-rays didn't show anything, he just asked me to go for physiotherapy, and he gave me some pills which I already have from my GP. Bleah! I hope they don't make me do those silly exercises like before, cos obviously they didn't work.

Maybe I'll just stick to acupuncture. Yep it does work. Was a bit skeptical at first but it was really effective; the numbness in my leg was gone after the first session. The side effects are minimal..like some ticklish feeling and err apparently some feel-good hormones (endorphins) are produced so u'll feel happy after the treatment. I think I scared Flo a bit after the first session cos I was unusually giggly (coupled with the fact that I was happy the pain was gone).

Ok Sakura is bugging me cos her O-levels are done and it's time for her to hog the computer (something I've been doing all this while haha). See ya.

Don't disconnect

I'm terrible on the phone. Some of my friends say I sound as if I can't wait to slam down the phone.

Damn.

I think I just cut my editor off the moment she said bye. Oops!

2 hours for 2 mins

Waited a freakin' 2 hours at the polyclinic today and after the long wait, the doc only saw me for 2 minutes!! Was so pissed that I wanted to leave but my number was abt to be called. I think they have a really unfair system where ppl with fixed consultations are given priority...so much so that there were so many ppl who came much later than me but saw the doc first. GRRR. That was one of the reasons I stopped seeing my doc at NUH. Maybe I should stick to self-medicating. The only queue would be at the pharmacy cashier.

There goes the tarts

Hari Raya came n went. So have the pineapple tarts. Staying home is bad. I make a trip to the kitchen every few minutes to see what I can nibble on...and as of a few minutes ago, I finished the last tart. Not that I was the sole contributor to its disappearance...the layers were going fast. I need more tarts. Anywhere that sells post-Hari Raya tarts?

The Power of Words

One of my favourite poems from primary school..suddenly had the urge to post it.

A careless word may kindle strife
A cruel word may wreck a life

A bitter word may hate instill
A brutal word may smite and kill

A joyous word may lessen stress
A loving word may heal and bless.

--Author unknown--

Break-ing

Finally got some time to rest. Past week was crazy. Out every night; even on Fri had my dept's D&D to attend. It was pretty good except that the high pitch, 70's sort of Chinese karaoke made my head almost split. And I was pretty disappointed that my friends wore jeans n t-shirt... who wears that to a D&D..at a hotel at that?! Yeah we made up the "small-fry" table but even small fries, i feel, should dress up to the occasion. Realised that my prof is a really friendly guy...he kept coming to our table to see if we were enjoying ourselves. He even found out for me that there was a halal table. Wasn't really eager to go there...so half-way thru' the dinner I grabbed some food on my plate and sneaked back to join my friends.

Went to buy bus tix for Malacca on Sat. Weeeee I'm going to Malacca! Dunno why I'm so excited abt the trip...guess cos it's the first time I'm going with a friend...I smell my freedom closeby... more holidays with friends coming up I hope!

P.S. HPC gang...perhaps we should plan an "adventure" abroad!

My swollen ankles

Been such a busy week for socialising. On Monday, went out with a couple of friends to watch Saving Face. The storyline was pretty predictable..but sweet anyway. Tues wasn't really socialising...went for tuition at 6. By the time I bought dinner at Westmall and reached home, it was already 9.30 and I was exhausted. Plus I got 3 horrible blisters from wearing new canvas shoes without socks. Luckily I borrowed a pair of slippers from the prayer area the moment I reached school. Wouldn't have been able to survive the day if I hadn't.

Yesterday, the 4 of us went to The Ricetable at Suntec to celebrate Mel's belated b'day. I was 25 minutes late...first I missed the bus..then when I was finally at City Hall, I couldn't walk fast cos my feet were stinging and legs were aching. It was a long wait...between trying to make reservations and postponing twice we finally went there. It was a worthwhile wait tho, the food was pretty good..minus the ladies fingers and brinjal dish :P Poor Far..we were bullying her to finish up the extra dishes we ordered. She managed to swallow down one piece of sweet n sour fish so we rewarded her with an otak. Haha. After dinner, we went to a cafe at Liang Seah St to play games...and have dessert. The guy at the place was very friendly and helpful..he helped us choose a few games since we were beginners. It was cool chillin' out with the gang. We played for about 2 hrs then headed home.

Today I went down to Times after school to get the manuscript I have to edit. It was pretty sucky cos it was raining like crazy. Thank God my father drove me there (I almost wanted to borrow the car to go there myself). The rain was so heavy that we could hardly see ahead. And when a pick-up truck zoomed passed us, the water splashed against our windshield till we literally couldn't see anything for a few seconds. And to make things worse, I stepped into a puddle of rainwater cos the drain was overflooded (Mel, u gotta tell them to improve the drainage there haha). The meeting took longer than expected...so I was late in meeting Ruth and Felicia at Far East. Had to walk more...I think my left foot by reflex started putting weight on the side where there was no blister...and cos of that that side hurts like hell now. We walked around Isetan for a bit while waiting for Azi..who unfortunately didn't turn up. Good thing we decided to head to Anatolia for dinner first cos even at the end of dinner, Azi was still at her friend's place for raya. The cute Turkish waiter was there...serving the ice cream...but I didn't wanna get teased so I didn't get any :P We gave Felicia the pink jacket from Iora that she wanted. I bought a size too big so we headed to Wisma to get it exchanged. Ruth wasn't feeling up to it so we left pretty early.

Why the title? Well I was chatting with my cousin...my auntie's painful ankle has gotten worse..it's swollen now. And somehow I started to look at my ankles...and realised they are swollen too. Gosh. I can't even see my ankle bone now. Think I should stay off my feet for awhile. Or perhaps get more supportive shoes. Sakura says I should stop walking till my feet recover. I should get back to icing my ankles now...

Lame joke

My prof said this in stats class today:

Geneticists won't understand the meaning of relative risk of getting a disease because to them it'll mean the risks in relatives getting the disease. L.A.M.E.

Plastic surgery anyone?

I'm happy with my nose eyebrows smile face. Attended an interesting talk today during the Combined Scientific Meeting SG 2005. The topic was so popular that the room was full to the brim. There were pictures after pictures of before and after treatment..and some of the results were amazing. But after seeing the gruesome surgery pics, Lakshmi and I decided that if we ever thought of having a facelift, we should remind each other of the horrible process and bruising after the op. After the talks, I was happy that I did not have "oriental" features..and that I'm pretty satisfied with how I look so hopefully I'd never need surgery. But then again, we decided that a botox injection or two wouldn't do much harm if we needed it in future haha :P

I have to go now. Have a little crisis. Believe it or not Sakura juz "punched" my hair and now its caught in the puncher. I hope it's just the O-levels causing her temporary madness...

Phew, I survived STATA!

The test wasn't that awful today. The first qs was easy but the next one was tricky. We were getting desperate..somehow the data we typed in wasn't in the correct format..and my partner didn't use STATA, and me..well..I'm hopeless at it. In the end he took out his laptop and started calculating the values using the programme he was familiar with instead...desperate measures since we only had about 10 minutes left. What a life saver! He was done in like less than 5 minutes (while we were struggling for more than half an hour with STATA!). The presentation part went well too, I think. I could answer the questions...prof had a hard time digging out the right answers from us (according to XL he always thinks differently..so what we presentated wasn't exactly what he wanted). He kept giving us clues..till I guessed correctly and got a "very good". Haha. Lucky guess! I goofed up the next qs..but that wasn't really fair cos we haven't learnt logistic regression..but of course my partner cld answer (damn that know-it-all haha). Oh well, it's over.

After the test we went for lunch. Were deciding what to do tonight as a farewell dinner for the Swedish students, as well as to celebrate YK's b'day. Which reminds me..I should check my email for the details...

I went to Times Publishing House after that. Had an interview at about 1.30. Gonna be a copy-writer for them for their new Chemistry line of teaching resources which ahem..is supposed to be kept confidential. Bumped into Mel (who introduced the job to me) while I was waiting in the lobby. She was so blur (as usual?? haha) that she didn't notice me waving like an idiot..and her friend had to get her attention for me instead! My interviewer was pretty impressed.. apparently I spotted a few mistakes which people almost always miss out during the copy-writing "test" she gave me. The pay's pretty good too. If everything goes well I'll sign the contract on Monday. Have till end Nov to do the 120-page assignment..which should be fine since my modules are over for now. She asked my why I wanted to do this job and I felt like saying I guess I have my mum's "english teacher" blood in me. Haha.

Went to Fuji (almost typed FIJI!) after that to see if my digicam was ready for collection. I must say their customer service is pretty bad. They were supposed to call me 4 days after I sent it in to tell me the diagnosis. I waited for one wk and had to give them a call instead. They told me I had to wait another wk for the spare part to arrive. And as expected it was more than a wk n they didn't call. I called them again today and the technician cldn't be reached. The person on the line said she'd get him to call me back..and the best part is she didn't even note down my number till I asked her whether she wanted it. Guess I shouldn't complain since they're replacing the CCD for me for free :P


P.S. Is anyone reading my blog? The only comments I seem to get are from spammers..sobs...

Selamat Hari Raya

Hari Raya this year was good. Not much annoyances, and things went smoothly. The briyani was as delicious as ever..yum yum. Auntie came over the night before to help us cook, since we don't have a maid anymore..so mum needed some moral support. It was a big day for auntie...the first time she ever cooked for Hari Raya (she's gonna strangle me for divulging such information :P). Her ayam masak merah ("chicken cooked red") was really yummy. Maybe we should re-invite the "visiting chef" again next year. They went home abt 11am the next day so that they could come back as "guests".

Uncle's family came abt 3 unannounced. We were like in a daze cos Sakura, me n mum were having a nap...exhausted from all the cooking and cleaning. They didn't stay very long cos they started off late and had a few more houses to visit. I'm so thankful that I don't have to do the visiting since mum is the eldest. At least I could stay home to do some revision (yeah poor me haha). Auntie came at around 4 plus..this time as "guests"..in their "proper" attire. Uncle Dolah was like totally exhausted cos the stall opened really late on Hari Raya eve (he stayed there till 6am I think). In the end, he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer so he went to take a nap.

We watched a really silly tamil movie about a person with split personalities - a "sissy", a "hero" who goes around believing he has the right to take the law into his own hands by punishing criminals himself, and a "romeo" who was a manifestation of his suppressed love for the heroine. I think we had more of a good time laughing during the movie than watching it. We came to my room, sat around and chatted till about 8 plus. After auntie left I could finally concentrate on studying but by then I was too tired. Took a short nap...but got bored awhile later..so I didn't do much. Luckily I had such sweet friends who helped me..XL lent me her notes and even went down to make a copy for me. GH took the trouble of explaining to me about multiple linear regression during lab session (cos I was too tired spring cleaning that I couldn't make it to school on wed morn) and YK printed for me her summary sheet and even emailed me her compiled notes on STATA (the stats software we're using). Thanks gals..really appreciate it!!

It's hard to throw out trash

Finally did some spring cleaning of my room today. Got rid of the cobwebs and piles of dust. And I can finally see my tabletop now. Stumbled upon some really ancient things...like a used phonecard, the old children's MRT card, my notebook from 1995...wonder why I keep these stuff sometimes.

used old phonecard: i was supposed to sell them off one day (collector's items) and make big bucks

MRT card: souvenir?

notebook: hmm..somehow i keep thinking i might need the notes that i jotted down..or perhaps someone's phone number..tho i think it's really unlikely.

well i hope i can do a more thorough job soon, after sakura's o-levels hopefully..cos the two piles (which are mostly her stuff) on my desk are beginning to annoy me. maybe then i can find even more treasure...which i have to learn to throw away. oh well, now that the room is tidy, we can celebrate hari raya haha.

Starving Artist

Got this from a friend's blog:

The Personality Defect Test

You are 28% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Starving Artist! You are more intuitive than logical, and are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so emotional and gentle. This is why you are best described as a starving artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you prefer the open-endedness of artistry because then you know you can never truly have a wrong answer. So really you have no reason to be arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion, spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level, meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory. In short, your personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted, introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the spirit, and starve!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.