[the world should have more people like you]

I was recently lamenting on how the doctors in my department were easily impressed by the work I've done, and because of that I wasn't feeling motivated because I wanted to be pushed further, and not complimented for the easy work that I do. Seriously, if anyone is impressed by my statistics, they are naive. Not only because they get awed by the tests that I can "come up with", but also because they are such newbies to research, giving them a few p-values for simple associations makes them happy. This career move certainly wasn't one where I could "excel further". But I guess I've excelled at using Stata the whole day without getting a headache everytime. Heh.

Nevertheless, yesterday during our usual Saturday meetings (about the only day of the week I definitely have to go into office), Dr W was chairing the meeting. I remember when I first came into the department he was the one who said "Oh Dr A told me they saw what you wrote and it was like magic that you were able to write about a new topic so soon and so well". **Grinz**. So during the meeting where each of us RAs give our updates, I mentioned the status of the three manuscripts I was working on. He replied with a "Are you a hepatologist?" so I was like errr... Then he added "..because the NAFLD paper, the HCC, the steatosis paper...wow..perfectly written, till there isn't much to correct. In a year's time you can be a full time hepatologist!" Lol. I heard a couple of MashaAllah's around the table (it literally means "Whatever God wills", often used when there is surprise in someone's achievements or good deeds). If I had a mirror I could swear I was blushing so while looking down at my notes I said thank you. Hehe.

Today after talking to my big boss, he commented again about how he was impressed I could catch on with the liver field so soon and write "brilliant" papers so quickly (seems they were worried initially about whether I could grasp it soon). He even said whatever paper I write from scratch I can be an author in...yay! (On another note, it seems that God sends me these little messages just when I need them. Only last week I was telling hubby how I feel thick skin to write my own name on the paper or ask if I could include my name...and voila, Dr A brought it up today.) Well, bottomline is, I guess it's always fantastic to have bosses who appreciate the work you do and give a compliment even when it's not due lol. For that reason, I really love my working environment. Now I'm having second thoughts about changing jobs (I still miss the lab!)...guess we'll see what happens... For now I shall revel in the fact that I've had pretty nice bosses in my short working life so far =)

5 days to go till I see Changi Airport again. Wee!

P.S. I'm not blowing my own horn, just stating how lucky I am to have positive people around me here :)

[at the playground]

We've been having pretty busy weekends lately. First it was the potluck, then an impromptu night at the park (which was cut short by a sudden sandstorm..was quite exciting actually lol, minus the sand in my eyes), then we visited a friend's place, and last weekend we made it to a theme park. We'd (the desperate [house]wives) planned for this ever since the istiraha so some of us were literally counting down the days to the event. Hey, we need thing to look forward to!

The theme park was a pretty modest one and it was ladies and kids only so the fellas had to find their own fun. Nowhere near sg standards, I think we'd call it more of those funfair thingies we have on open fields every now and then. There were very few rides and since we were super early (life here starts at night on weekends, we were there at 4.30!), we had to wait for the rides to start. The rides I took for the day was the go kart, rollercoaster and a water ride. Yep, only three. Sad right? Well, there was one crazy ride which swung u up in the air more than 45 degrees each way, while rotating, but that was too much excitement for me. Didn't want my hernia to get worse lol. I was hoping the rollercoaster would set my tummy back where it belongs but seems it didn't..haha. One of the girls had a preconceived idea that being s'porean, I would love theme parks and take all the rides. So she was kinda urging me onto the rollercoaster when I was reluctant initially so in the end I was like, fine why not. Child's play I would say really, but it seems as you get older those plunges get scarier. I wonder what other preconceived ideas they have about S'poreans...hmmm...

The weirdest thing that happened was Ms A getting frightened about going into the 3D Dark Room which was supposed to be a horror house of sorts. We were ready to set off when she panicked and decided not to go. Luckily there weren't many people so I wasn't so embarrassed. The first cart came back and A was asking them how it was. Seems that I didn't miss much, since it was literally just a dark room, with a couple of not-very-frightening "ghosts" that popped up twice. As AM put it, the only frightening thing was that the room was dark. Guess I didn't miss much...I guess I've been spoilt after going to the haunted house in Sweden and after that, even the horror house in Bkk wasn't frightening. I tell ya, nothing can beat that. :P And I also think that having traveled lots and experienced fantastic theme parks (the one in Brisbane was awesommmeee), this was totally disappointing.

The rest of the time was spent eating and talking and me trying to decipher what they were saying (sigh, they keep telling me to learn some phrases, but if you speak only in one language and not translate, how am I supposed to learn right??). Well anyway, had a pretty good time overall. We plan to visit the theme parks one by one every few weeks or so. I heard the guys are already complaining about having to chauffeur us there and back. Wahaha.

On a separate note, I was pretty shocked to see what the local ladies wear when they're "free"...from thick makeup to beehive hairdos to plunging necklines and exposed cleavages of assets that were obviously pushed up, if not already naturally very well-endowed. One of the gals said this was nothing, seems that at their weddings, their ballroom gowns come in all shapes and sizes. She even said that since the Indians who were there wore their traditional salwar suits, she felt like she was too decent lol. Hope I get to witness one while I'm here...I shall get a sexy low cut dress to attend it hehe.

[sorry no cure]

It seems that I spoke to soon. I was happy that they found a CAUSE of the pain, but it seems there is no CURE for it. The dr will only be able to treat the symptoms with proton pump inhibitors to lower the acid content in my stomach but the hernia itself cannot be treated. Surgery is only a last resort and mine is still considered minor. My mood plunged down to below zero after yesterday's appt when he said that. Sigh. Yet another problem that is uncurable. First asthma, then back pain, now this. Looks like I'm accumulating symptoms throughout my life. By the time I'm 60 I wonder how many more problems my body will accumulate. Grrr.

For now, I guess my stomach has an inbuilt mechanism to stay healthy. Seems that avoiding the following things will help with the acid secretion:
- Tomatoes,
- Citrus fruits (but where to get my Vit C??),
- Chocolate (gasp!),
- Coffee (not a problem, I avoid it anyway cos it works as a laxative for me esp in the mornings lol)
- Smoking
- Alcohol
- Spicy food (bye bye chilli...)

- White/refined flour
- Fried food

And I should stock up on the following:
- Exercise
- Milk
- Honey
- Greens
- Elevating my head while sleeping
- Relaxation techniques for the diaphragm

I'm still hoping that my symptoms are a stay-in-this-country side effect. Maybe in 2 wks time the pain will suddenly disappear when I land at Changi airport. Hehe. Meanwhile, I'm hoping to get a 2nd opinion when I'm back in June. Sorry hubby, since coming here it's been hospitals almost every other wk (past two wks it's been almost twice weekly!). Hope I can make it up to you in some way. *Huggies*

[the verdict]

Ah finally had the gastrocopy done. At least now I don't have to worry about the procedure and what exactly is wrong. It was pretty harmless, since I was sedated lightly, though I remember trying to regurgitate out the tube and the doctor told me to relax..yeah like I could control it while being in lala land :P

The diagnosis? Hiatal hernia: an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up through the chest. More on it here...I like the diagram lol. Seems that it's the same thing I had as a baby where I wouln't be able to keep in feeds till my dad had to rush out to pharmacies at odd hours (when stock was low) to get thickeners to add in the milk. Asthma is also believed to be a consequence of it...I wonder if it's linked in my case. Interesting.

Anyway, I'm kinda relieved because at least he found something wrong...I hate going for checks, especially such invasive ones, and getting the result: nothing wrong, i.e. nothing we can do about it. I read up on it after coming home, and it seems that I'm already taking the meds that are prescribed for it. I hope this doesn't mean mine isn't treatable. I don't want to resort to surgery. I hope this problem will resolve soon since we're planning to have a baby soon (heartburn and what not gets worse during pregnancy...if this is already so bad, don't wanna imagine that!)

Got to thank my hubby for being by my side all the way, even being in the waiting room with me before the procedure (even though he hates needles and hates seeing me being poked) and as far as he could till they closed the room for the procedure. :)

[touched]

Felt very touched today when my friends and sister replied to my fb status abt going for my gastroscopy tmr. Was feeling a little nervous so wanted some words of encouragement heh. Auntie even told me to give her a call before I go for the procedure, and my MIL said she'll be praying for my quick recovery. I was especially touched when I received a call, from an unknown m'sian no, and it turned out to be a friend I met many years ago in Melaka after being online friends for awhile. Auntie E sounded quite concerned about what and why I needed the procedure done and said I could call her anytime for a chat. Sweet right? Hee. I guess even though I complained that my parents have not called me even once since coming here, God has sent me angels of friends who show their love through these little but meaningful ways.

Hopefully all will go well tmr (i.e. no complications) and that they'll find a (not so serious) cause as to what's going on, so that there can be a more specific solution to my gastric woes. :)

[super machine]

We had our 2nd day of training yesterday. True to my words, our driver came 25 mins late. I'd already told Dr L to ask O to come much earlier cos he'd be late anyway, but perhaps he doesn't have much punctuality sense either. Sigh. When we reached there about an hour late, I was shocked to see that the training hadn't even started, and the trainer told us he'd been waiting for people to show up since 9am. Haiz. I guess next time I'll just ask hubby to drop me directly. Even if I'm super early, at least I won't be guilty of making anyone wait for me.

What machine have we been training on? It's this awesome chemical analyser which can run about 92 different biochemical tests, 44 tests per run, and about 400 runs per hour. Fantastic huh? It kind of obliterates the need for a graduate to do the running of biochemical tests, but I guess that's what technology is aiming for these days. I think any Tom, Dick or Harry could be told which buttons to press and voila, albumin, creatinine, urea and what nots can be measured in about 10 mins.

the super machine

Which leads me to the topic of research here. Research has not been a big thing here since recently. Even then, it seems to be picking up quite slowly, with doctors still prefering clinical work and trials to basic science research. Most of the basic science research is only done in universities here, and they have very few research institutes (I'm only aware of one, and that is part of a govt hospital). It seems that funding and infrastructure isn't a major problem unlike in Sg. My centre for example, after getting HUGE funding, probably has enough money to set up its own lab. I've toured several labs from beaming doctors/scientists who are all out to impress this S'porean and I must say I have been impressed - from latest super high throughput PCR machines that do ALL the work for you at the press of a few buttons to this super machine that can run plenty of tests in such a short time. They cost millions of riyals, and I'm sure they're probably in the millions of sg dollars too. Unfortunately though, what seems to be lacking is the expertise to carry out research. If they can be impressed by an "epidemilogist" like me who has such basic knowledge in the field, it makes me wonder about the quality of their research. Many of the labs also seem to be newly set up and still looking for overseas experts to guide them. Oh and I should mention that most of the people who are interested in research are locals who have been trained overseas and, I assume, have been exposed to the research world.

Thankfully I guess the problem of skilled manpower can be solved by the abundant funding that the govt is putting into biomedical research (sounds a little like Sg...hope they don't get disappointed as our ministers are 10 years later lol). I think if they were to hire a few capable s'poreans (ahem..like me..haha), they would be well on their way to churning out excellent 2nd tier journals. Meanwhile, let's hope that their enthusiasm in research continues to grow and that their motivations are not driven by the monetary rewards (did I mention PIs and co-PIs get monetary incentives??? kind of unfair because us downlines who actually do the nitty-gritty don't get such bonuses...hmpf!).

[let us drive already!]

Today was an excellent example why women should be allowed to drive here. Asked hubby to drop me at KKUH although I had a training session at the new building. Partly because he gets grumpy when I ask him to send me there, but mainly because I didn't want to be early so that Mr S wouldn't be buaya-ing me. Who is Mr S? Well, he's a "colleague" at the new building, a fella from my hubby's neighbouring country who even after my emphasis that I was married, still tried to buaya me by asking for my number and asking if I wanted him to "show me around" the lab when our 2nd training had been postponed (during that time, we'd only had training for a centrifuge, vortex, etc...yeah like I need revision on that!).

So anyway, it took me 3 calls to finally get the guy who usually drives us. 45 mins later, after basking in the sun (I was sitting in the shade but the heat was just as bad, summer's kicking in!), he was still a no-show so I decided to move indoors to wait for Dr L so that we could go together (feel better with him around so that Mr S won't buaya me, or at least I can use Dr L as a shield lol). So anyway, the driver never turned up much much much later and by then Dr L managed to get an alternative transport and we were almost reaching the new building already. All in all, my attempt to reach there at 9.30 became 10.40. I think if I had driven, it would've just taken a bloody 5 minutes. GRRRRR!!

On a lighter note, hubby and I had a magnificent indulgence at a 4 star (I think) hotel last night. There was a Brit & Irish food festival going on and I was feeling down so hubby decided to cheer me up (he seems to like cheering me up with food...bad bad..lol). The ambience was absolutely fabulous - apart from maybe the almost-beach dining experience I've had at Msia, this was perhaps the most fantastic place I've been to. The dining area was on a lawn...the carpet grass, twinkling lights and man-made waterfall cascading down closeby and the wooden furniture made me feel like I was transported somewhere not in this country hehe. The food didn't disappoint either - from Irish stew to Lancashire hot pot to even Balti prawns. The fish-and-chips were easily the best I've tasted in a long time, it was of excellent quality and the fish was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. The lamb steak was also very juicy, wayyyy better than the regular steak place we've been to twice and always disappoints me in regards to the meat (u'd think I'd learnt my lesson right?? what to do...hubby doesn't eat meat here so I have to satisfy my meat cravings at restaurants heh). Gosh, I sound like I'm advertising for them. The only disapponting bit were the desserts, which was a bummer because I usually live for desserts during buffets (my ex-colleague G can vouch for it lol) but these had such weird tastes that we were literally left confused whether they were good or bad.

When the bill came our hearts did a flip over, because neither of us knew how much the buffet was gonna cost (can't possibly ask them the price then turn away when we find it too expensive right? hehe). It came up to about $190 (yes, sgd after conversion), making it about $95 per person. Must've been one of the most luxurious meals I've ever had. So now Mr F says no more dining out for the next 3 months..hahaha. Let's see how that happens...maybe I'll be upset again and he'll cheer me up again, at a less expensive place lol. And don't forget, in 2 months time will be our one year anniversary (wow, time flies!!) and my b'day :P

A perfect ending to that wonderful dinner would be to win the lucky draw to Ireland. So fingers crossed! :)

P.S. I've been wondering whether ppl are still reading this blog and was pleasantly surprised when G made a comment about one of my posts. Yay! Anymore readers out there...show urself! Haha.

[reminiscing]

Had a mini moment reminiscing as I read some posts while editing my blog. Since it's sort of an anonymous one (not that anyone has ever linked characters in the blog to me, from what I know at least), I searched for names that I accidentally forgot to de-identify e.g. Sakura's real name instead of Sakura, and changed them to pseudo names. Very free right? Haha. Well, I am actually lol. So friends don't worry, your secrets won't be divulged on my blog, knowingly at least.. :P

So anyway, even came across posts about Sakura going mad studying for her O-levels (she used a puncher on my hair..gasp!) and I was thinking, wow, now she's already in her 2nd year of uni. Time flies. I still remember setting up this blog to write down about my Sweden adventures. Perhaps in a few years time I'll be reminiscing about my "wonderful" time in S%%%% (btw, the reason I don't type that out is so that no one gets offended in case I bitch about the place lol).

[an eventful weekend]

This must have been the busiest weekend I've had since I came here. And no I'm not complaining, cos at least I wasn't wasting my time at home playing FB and watching movie after movie. (By the way, can't believe it's almost 6 months since I've come...wow, time flies!!) On Thursday we went to the M'sian embassy for a bazaar they were having. It was a modest affair with several booths in the parking area, mostly selling food. Needless to say, I jumped at the satay and laksa that I saw. They tasted a little different (M'sian style I guess) but hey, when you're missing home food, it doesn't matter. They had other events like three-legged race, 5 stones, etc. Unfortunately Mr F wanted to leave early so I didn't get to play. :(

That evening we went over to A's (aka LM) place for what was supposedly dinner. It was a potluck but I managed to escape bringing something (cooked) since N told the hostess that I'm "a working woman" and didn't have time lol. I wanted to make Banoffee pie but hubby said it was expensive, so our contribution was two tubs of yummy ice cream. The guys over stretched their volleyball playing so they came home 2 hours later than planned. As if that wasn't bad enough, dinner was served only a couple of hours later and I had to endure the pain in my stomach that had returned that was worsened by the hunger and the chattering that went on in a foreign language. If it weren't for S I think I'd have wanted to leave early when Mr F suggested it. All in all our 6 pm dinner started at 10 and ended at 12am, and only thanks to Mr F making the first move to leave. I guess I shouldn't complain, since I had some interaction. Something's better than nothing. We've even planned our next event! Oh and I should add that hubby said he's glad his wife is a better cook than his friends' wives hehe (maybe he just got used to my horrible cooking haha).

On Friday, we had yet another event. This time it was an usrah (gathering to talk about Islam) at a M'sian diplomat's house. They have usrahs pretty often here, about fortnightly. I had met the diplomat's wife via FB and also the previous day at the embassy. Their house was a gigantic 3 storey semi-detached house which cost 140k riyals (~55k sgd) rent per MONTH! And guess how many people living in it? TWO!!! Oh well, shows how much governments spend on keeping their diplomats happy lol. So anyway, the topic for the day was pretty heavy for a first-timer like me - burial preparation - though it was quite amusing when we tried to demonstrate on one of our fellow attendees. The crowd was mostly M'sian (duh) and besides me, I think KS was the only other S'porean. After the usrah, we said prayers together with the men leading (I miss that too, they don't seem to do it in Indian gatherings) and next up was...FOOOD! It was a potluck and naughty me didn't bring anything even though I was gorging myself on the mee kari (curry noodles...somewhat like laksa), ayam masak merah (chicken cooked red...my favourite!!!) and numerous other dishes. Ok ok, I promise next time I shall bring something hehe. Again, hubby was quite eager to leave and since I thought that was it and I didn't want him to get bored further, we left soon after. Only later on I realised they stayed on till late to chat more and play some kampung games like congkak, I was like...darnnnn, next time I won't be so accomodating. Lol.

(kids playing congkak, photo grabbed from here)

Hopefully things will keep looking up with more such gatherings. Friends (although I would call them acquaintances at this stage) are soooo important in maintaining your sanity.

I've learnt a few lessons from this weekend:

1) Maybe I've been counting on the wrong people to "befriend" me. If I keep searching, I'm sure to find more friends on my own.

2) There are a great deal of expat wives (one website calls us "trailing wives") who sacrifice their jobs and careers for their husband's sake when they have to drop everything and go overseas. I salute all of them and at the same time grateful that not only my hubby lets me work, but I found a wonderful job in such a short time.

2) Am grateful we're living in such a neat, clean, non-chaotic and safe neighbourhood, and a new and clean house too.

3) Even though you've been advising me to "lower my standards" in finding friends, it seems you're not heeding your own advice in helping me "fit in". Which brings me back to point 1. But anyway, I know what you mean now.

4) Maybe after all this "searching for friends", I realise I'm pretty content spending quality time with my hubby afterall. :)

[this or that?]

Have opposing kinds of stories to share...so not sure to combine it into one post or not. Anyway here goes..

On the down side, the city was flooded after a heavy thunderstorm yesterday. A couple of friends and I were so happy that it was raining, we even opened our windows to smell the rain (the things you miss when you're away from home). Unfortunately though, this country has a very poor drainage system, if they have one at all. Underpasses were heavily flooded, cars were drowned in water. The authorities issued a state of emergency and closed down schools today because they expect even more rain. Seriously, it's about time they built some drains!!



More horrifying images here. Thank God my baby got home safely.

On another note, by some sort of wonderful coincidence, I met another fellow Singaporean. I'd replied to an ad on an expat mailing list requiring tuition for IB Biology and since it was my down week, I replied. [NB: my workload, I realised, is like a sinusoidal curve - when I have no work, I have absolutely zilch work to do. When the drs decide to give me work, they all give it at the same time. Gah. It's my busy week now, though I'm so used to bumming now I don't feel like doing anything lol]. So anyway, when she called she sounded Singaporean, so I asked where she was from and voila! No wonder she was asking me which schools my previous students were from. First day tuition worked out well, except that I was a lil rusty, and the girl being a gifted student, didn't really need any basics covered, so she was asking me complicated questions. Told her to let me know what topic she wants for next tuition so that I can be more prepared lol.

Can't help but wonder if it was a God-sent, since I've been yearning to meet more Singaporeans. The mum is even inviting us over for dinner one day and told me she'd include me in more gatherings in future. Can't wait..yay! :)

[unlucky or blessing in disguise?]

I've been craving for interaction and physical activity. So, when a certain "adventure" group posted that they were going to have a walk at a town on the outskirts of Riyadh, I immediately responded. It was going to be a one hour walk around the town, I think.

Mr F said he was going to service the car that morning. I assumed he meant he was going to fix the screen wipers which really needed to be changed especially since it's been raining lately and knock out the dent that someone gave the car (hit and run..grr). I assumed (again) he was doing it the very morning we had plans because we were going to drive quite a distance so better to be safe. It's been quite surprising how much/often it's been raining here, which is a fantastic thing. The last time we were out and it rained, we were driving pretty blindly because instead of wiping water off the windshield, the wipers only made things worse. So there I was, waiting patiently for Mr F to come home. It was already time to set off and he was still at the workshop.

When he finally returned, I was a little annoyed so I said I didn't want to go since we'd be late. He convinced me that we'd reach on time so off we went. I noticed that the dent was still there so I assumed he just fixed the wipers. I was wrong. Halfway about our drive the car started jerking. It happened several times so Mr F wanted to stop by a mechanic before continuing to our destination. It was then I realised that when he said service the car, he meant cleaning/polishing it, both the exterior and the engine, so that he could "make an entrance". Yeah make an entrance we would, since we'd be the last ones coming. Since we were already pressed for time, I told him to forget about the meetup and just get the car fixed.

We took a U-turn and headed home. Needless to say I was extremely disappointed. Awhile later, there was a mild sandstorm. I tried to cheer myself by saying that maybe it was a blessing that we didn't go, since I certainly didn't want sand in my face...that is, if it was sandstorming at the location we were going as well. Later on that night when we went out, I guess the engine "dried up" so it was fine again. No jerks at all. The last time we wanted to drive west for an adventure (the iris fields that we didn't see), we were misinformed and it didn't work out. This time we were headed west again, and something else happened. Sigh, just my luck I guess.

Moral of the story: don't wash your engine before a road trip..lol.

[my current preoccupation]

Since I have lots of time on my hands, decided to try digital scrapbooking. I initially wanted to do "hardcopy" scrapbooking, but it seems that it's a hard commodity to come by here. I've always liked playing around with Photoshop, and I like (taking) pictures, this seemed to be the perfect hobby. Here are a few layouts I've tried...

My first try

This received raving reviews on FB..lol.

Would've used a better photo, but lazy to transfer them from my HDD.

I called this "narcissistic" for obvious reasons..lol.

[on women here]

I promised to post some stuff about life and culture here..so here goes my first posting (ever since saying that I seemed to have other things to blog about lol).

P.S. Please note that all my ramblings about this country are purely my opinioin and from my experiences. I may be biased so if any local is reading this, please don't get offended.

My preconceived ideas of women here were that they didn't have freedom, couldn't move around on their own, and were second class citizens. Did any of my beliefs change after spending 4 months here?

On work:

Most local women either hardly work at all, or work in administrative jobs or stereotypical "female" jobs like teaching. Working in a hospital will not give me a very good idea of how women fare in the work place here. It seems that the locals find it degrading for their women to work in nursing, because of the nature of the job. [Recently, there was even an outcry over a fatwa {religious decree} allowing women to work as maids, but I digress here]. So as you might expect, I can safely say that probably 99% of the nurses here are foreigners, made up mainly of Filipinos and Indians. The only local women in my department are 2 research assistants, which I guess is considered a "good" job since it doesn't involve manual labour.

In my experience I would say that there is hardly any discrimination professionally, at least none that are obviously visible. So far, I've been included in all board meetings, my views have been heard, and I'd dare say I'm earning pretty well (though Mr F's theory is that it's because I'm from Sg/NUS). The only problem is that I get my pay only once every two months. Rumour has it that it's because they do not think paying women (on time) is very important, since the man is the sole breadwinner of the house. I do not like to point fingers without evidence so I shall just believe that it's because the persons in charge are very busy.


On "freedom":

Bringing up this topic is probably opening a can of worms, so to make things simple, I shall talk about common perceptions of how women here do not have freedom.

Driving - As we all know very well, this was one of my biggest peeve even before marrying someone who lives here and knowing I might have to move here some day. I would say this is the hugest discrimination of all, not to mention all the inconvenience it brings. The "religious police" say the reason is that women should not meet men on the road. Isn't it ironic that you don't want that to happen, but say it's ok for a woman to be alone with a driver - be it a taxi driver or your chauffeur? There have been plenty of arguments to overturn this ban, plenty of protests from women here and abroad; and the latest news is that the king is trying his best to overturn this rule. It seems that there needs to be more policewomen on the roads and for this to happen, they need to be recruited and trained. I guess we won't see it happening soon.

I have other reasons for not liking this rule, especially the one about not having the freedom to go about wherever you want. For a foreigner like me, Mr F was so protective he didn't even want me to go down to the shops alone initially. It took me 3 months and not having a car (car was in the workshop) to finally have the courage to hail a cab and come home myself. Why? Firstly because local cabbies can't be trusted (one of my American friends had a story to tell!), and secondly, I can't communicate with the foreign drivers who are mostly south Asians and speak only smattering English. And the latter get excited when they see a foreigner who looks like them, and starts chatting you up. That again, is another story worth mentioning perhaps next time. It is really stifling to not be able to move around and be as independent as I was in sg. Sigh.

The women who live in compounds (sorta equivalent to condos in sg) have it easier because they have regular bus services from the compounds to various shopping centres throughout the day. I guss it's just too bad that not all of us live in compounds.

The next con about not being able to drive is being dependent on your husband to bring you around. Note that this is a different point from wanting to go places, because this is a NEED. There have been several times I've had to schedule my day according to what time my husband can pick me up. And though he never complains, I started to feel bad about him having to rush to pick me up and rush back to work. Good thing I have a part-time chauffeur now, although he only picks me up from work and nothing else (it would cost MUCH more to have one at my own disposal, but it's not worth it since I don't go out much anyway). But at least I don't have to feel bad about depending on Mr F all the time.

And here comes another disadvantage of not moving around on your own (they don't even have decent public transport!). I've put on weight, probably from several factors such as having a deskbound job (oh I so miss the lab) and bumming at home on no-work-to-do days, but I dare say that being chauffeured from point A to point B has had a significant effect on it. Gone are the days where I could walk home from work (call me crazy, but it's kinda therapeutic), walk from the bus stop to work, etc. Every metre counts! I don't even dare go walking on my own, maybe one day I should just take the plunge, in the day that is. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that it isn't a safe country, I'm/we're just paranoid that things may happen. And things happening in a foreign country where there are language barriers isn't good.

Ah, I've only blogged about two (women) topics and it's already 10 pages long. Shall continue more another day. :P

[worlds apart]

X: So you are housewife or working? [sic]
Me: I'm working.
X: As what?
Me: Doing research at KKUH...etc etc
X: So why you are not housewife?
Me: ?????

That was the conversation I had with Mrs K, at the mini getaway we had this weekend. I was quite taken by surprise at that question, so after being stunned for a few seconds, I replied, because I'd be bored at home.

It made me wonder whether this was the mentality of Indian women. It seemed that with the few interactions I've had with them: 1) Most of them are like "wow" when they know I'm working and 2) They seem content knowing that they're devoting their lives to the home. While I have no objections against that, I feel it is quite a waste to throw away your education just to make babies. Many of these ladies whom I met yesterday, my hubby's friends' wives, have degrees in all sorts of fields, ranging from engineering to MBBS no less. But somewhere during their undergrad years, along comes a proposal and while some are lucky enough to be able to complete their degrees, others either stop halfway, or don't even get to complete their final year. It's such a sad waste, of talent, of money, and of dignity (to me at least). My MIL was unable to do her final year because of the same reason.

What usually happens is this - parents these days hear that having an e.g. engineering degree is in demand, so they send their daughters to do their degrees. Once a proposal comes, they can say: Hey, my daughter is studying/has studied engineering. Put crudely, it translates to: Hey, my daughter is marketable. There comes a groom who thinks this girl fits his (educational) criteria, he ticks off other items from his checklist like religiosity, looks, etc, then picks his bride. We have one friend who had 2 girls shortlisted, and all other factors being equal, finally decided on the one with "better looks".

And so these girls forego their education, whether they like it or not. One of my closer acquaintances had been accepted to do her MBA, but her future auntie-in-law told her not to so that she could "join the family earlier". And now in Riyadh, she was getting very bored, so her husband finally let her work, though that didn't last long because she is having a difficult pregnancy. Another girl cried when she came home from school one day to know that her mother had agreed to betroth her to someone. Most of the ladies at the party were quite bored being housewives, but I guess that being the norm, they either cannot or do not oppose it. The MBBS grad got her degree last Nov, got married in Dec via a proposal (though she had the privilege of interacting with her fiance after the engagement - most of the them don't interact much with their future spouses, a phonecall is considered out of the norm, one girl didn't even see her fiance's face in person till AFTER the engagement, and they only talked for 5 mins then), and now she probably will have to postpone her internship because she is 5 weeks pregnant.

I guess if you grew up in a culture where your sole purpose was to get married and produce kids, it wouldn't be a horrible thing. But for someone who comes from a society where every individual counts, where women are allowed to have careers besides being mothers, I was quite shocked after hearing everyone's stories yesterday. It didn't help that I was feeling out of place because I couldn't speak the language, it made it twice as strange because them being housewives, most of their topics ranged from pregnancies to looking after kids to how they spent their (not-so exciting) days. Good thing topics diversified (nowhere near as diversified as last weeks' topics tho lol) and they were quite curious to know more about the odd Singaporean so things got a little livelier for me.

Yes I was aware of all this before deciding to marry someone who was part of this culture. I am thankful that he is one of the more open-minded ones. I'm am even more now keen than ever to make sure my future daughters, even if they grow up in India, will be treated as independent women who are not destined to be groomed as baby-making machines

P.S. I should also add that while the boys were playing fun games like volleyball (yay) in the men's section of the villa, the women just sat in the room playing carem and cards and chatting away (yawn). Is this part of the "women shouldn't play sports culture"?? Gender segregation was bad enough (come on, I'm not gonna ogle at your husbands), segregation with no fun activities was quite torturous. Sigh. But I guess I should be grateful since there was some excitement anyway. Hopefully our pot luck plan turns out. My motto right now: if there's interaction, count me in. Lol.

[on making friends]

I'm glad I took the plunge last weekend. I had stumbled upon an "expats in s%%%%" blog and was reading up on the forum and stuff. I'm not usually active on forums, but when I saw a "Girl Party" post I immediately emailed the organiser and put my name down. I was feeling a lil sick that day and was using that as an excuse not to go. Well, I actually get nervous meeting people I don't know so I wasn't sure about going. Even after all these years on planet earth! It was good that hubby pushed me to it, and the rest is history! It turned out that everyone was a bit hesitant at first about going, but in the end everyone was glad they turned up.

We got along really well, jabbering about anything there was to jabber about, ranging from "discussing" local culture to ahem...penis size..lol (ok, it was just a convo between the two ang mohs..lol). Most of them were American, by descent or otherwise (2 ang mohs, 1 Chinese, 1 middle eastern looking lady married to a local but she's american). One was a confused Pakistani who tried very hard to fake an American accent but failed miserably everytime she got excited. She ended up looking to me to interpret things whenever the rest didn't understand her..and I was like...huh...am I ur interpretor or what?? I'm beginning to believe what my hubby says about ppl from that country, from this encounter and others...I just thought he was being nationlistic all this time (we all know the India-Pakistan feud). The food was good though I didn't contribute any..oops (I brought a bottle of sparkling juice though hehe). A really nice bunch of ladies. We're already excited about the next meeting and hoping our group will grow. Hopefully some meaningful friendships will come out of it too. C has already invited me to go shopping with her one of these days..yay!

Am still on the quest to find more friends now, maybe next weekend I might meet a bunch of Malaysians instead, thanks to a girl I randomly added on FB...haha. Finding friends in a foregin country where no one socialises is hard work! I shall not give up. Hopefully I'll feel more comfortable here after finding a few people to call my friends :)

[the day he jumped]

I thought I knew Mr F through and through. Even he claimed he has shown me all his sides. Not till yesterday though, when his favourite/home cricket team won the match and he was prancing and cheering around the living room. I was already dumbfounded before that when he was like screaming and clapping when they got a "shot" (a good move), so when he did this, I was literally speechless. This also leads me to another point - sooner or later every wife will have to put up with hours of no tv while their big boys cheer over their favourite sport. We all learn something new everyday eh? ;)

[:)]

I love it when you kiss my cheek every morning before you go to work, even though I'm still asleep. This is bliss. :)

[hello doctor]

I made yet another visit to the A&E, in less that 4 weeks from the last episode. This time it wasn't because of my tummy. For some strange reason, I literally was fine one day, and the next morning I had the worst of sore throats I think I've ever had. To make it worse, there was blood in my phlegm. That worried Mr F a little so despite my pleas not to go to the A&E (I think I've mentioned before I don't like hospitals, and it wasn't really an emergency), he insisted on it. Part of the reason was because he didn't want to end up waiting at the clinic for 2 whole hours. (They have a different system here - the clinics are part of the hospital, same area as outpatient specialist clinics. So even if you're seeing a GP, and if you don't have an appointment, it'll probably be a long while before they manage to slot you in somewhere. Our previous experience was waiting for almost an hour, to which the nurse said "If it's urgent go to the emergency". Hmpf.) I guess that was a good decision on hindsight, because 2 more hours in air con (dry+cold) would've made me worse.

The dr was a bit daft (I'll spare you the details) but after all his questions he said "I'll give you an injection" so that was what I was prepared for. Before I knew it, a nurse came in with an iv kit and we were like..huh?? My hubby asked the nurse..."Is this the "injection" the dr said he'd give?" and she nodded her head. Hmmm. I've seriously not heard of any dr giving iv for a sore throat, and we realised it was just paracetemol (1 gram!). Strange! Perhaps because I also mentioned I had sprained my back 3 days ago after being over enthusiastic about exercising (damn that aerobics video lol) so maybe he wanted to reduce my pains. He was even quite eager to give me the nebulizer even though I wasn't wheezing so good thing I insisted I didn't have any breathing difficulty. In the end the diagnosis was just URTI and I was poked twice just for that...hmpf! The first nurse couldn't find my vein and was playing "search for the vein" while already inside me. I was ready to box her and ask for a change of nurse. Luckily she took initiative herself, then the next nurse, after some prodding around, managed to get my vein. Gah.

I did feel good though after the paracetemol...could talk louder and I was like..wow my throat doesn't hurt much now! Lol. Maybe I was high on painkillers. Although I was quiet for just a few hours, Mr F said he missed my chatter. Awww..haha. I told him to enjoy the peace while it lasts. :P My Sg-Riyadh friends suggested that it could've been because of the dry weather here causing the irritation, leading to infection (read up a bit on it). So hopefully I can convince Mr F to get a humidifier before things get worse.

[ramblings]

When I was down writing helped me vent my frustrations. I guess it's a good way of expressing yourself in general, so I've decided that I shall blog more instead of once a month. And since I'm learning more and more about this country everyday, perhaps I shall do a series of posts about it. Haven't decided how many, so let's just go with the flow. Hehe.

I'll start today's post with a different topic though, since I just realised I haven't blogged about it - My arrival here and how my darling hubby welcomed me.

"I touched down about 15 mins early and was anxious about going through immigration. I'd heard enough stories to wonder if they'd let a "single" woman travel alone. Plus I'd wanted to rebel so I was wearing a short top, jeans and a pink scarf. But my fears were unfounded, because everything went smoothly. The only minor hiccup was security asking me for my passport after I passed immigration, to which he just read out my husband's name (???) and let me pass.

The moment I stepped out I looked around for my baby. Unlike previous meetings where he could scoop me up and hug me (ok, don't count the meeting where our families were present..and well..he didn't really scoop me...heh), this one was very sober . After kissing my forehead he handed me the abaya to wear, to which I protested "Hey look that lady isn't wearing one!" Lol. I didn't want him to get into trouble so being the good wife I was (ahem), I put it on and we headed to the carpark where the winter night greeted me. On the passenger seat was a rose and my fave choc (Galaxy, they don't have it in Sg) and on the radio was our song. Hee :). Compared to other meetings, I wasn't as emo this time - perhaps because I knew this time things were gonna be different. We didn't need to part after a week.

Dinner was in his car, so pathetic because the restaurant we bought the pizzas from didn't have a family section. "Welcome to Saudi" was Mr F's retort. I was like, wow, why do I hate it already?!After that, we drove to what I'd call home for awhile. Mr F asked me to wait in the car while he went up with my first luggage bag. I did find it a bit strange as to why he didn't just let me in. But you'll find out why soon...

As I stepped into the house, the lights were dimmed. And trailing the way to our bedroom were candles lit up and roses placed on the floor. On our bed was another rose and another bar of Galaxy and needless to say, that brought (good) tears to my eyes.

Thank you Mr F for making my debut here so memorable."

[4 months and counting]

It hasn't exactly been 4 months but well, just a few days away.

Haven't blogged much cos well, nothing very exciting has been happening. Our attempt to visit the iris fields at the beginning of the month turned out to be...well...let's just say the official reason is bcos there was poor visibility cos of the sandstorm. Lol.

I'm coping much better, tho I still miss home a lot. Less dreams of being back in Singapore and more confident that I'll survive here. Sorta. This doesn't include the couple of melt downs I had about being here. Hubby said we'll work towards going back to Sg end of the year...keeping my fingers, toes, limbs, whatever else possible crossed.

I didn't want this to be a melancholy entry...but hmmm...

As of 3 wks ago been having extremely sharp pain in my stomach. And I don't even mean abdomen like how u need to crap kinda pain...I really mean STOMACH pain...like 2cm below the sternum. Which is scary. Especially when it's at night and you can't sleep because every possible position doesn't ease the pain. 2 wks ago had a visit to the A&E bcos I couldn't take it anymore. And this was like after a LOT of resistance, bcos I hate hospitals, especially when I have to go at 4am in the morning. Diagnoses have been conflicting...the A&E dr and specialist at the usual hospital we go to think it's gastritis, but my big boss things it's IBS (irritable bowel syndrome - possibly brought on by the stress of moving, new envirnoment, etc). Whatever it is, I just hope the pain goes away soon. I need sleep.

The pain is much lesser now. Please pray that I get well soon.

Meanwhile, our house is turning into more of a home. We've got a flower pot on our tv cabinet, a side table and a painting up in the living room and curtains to shield us from the freaking strong summer sun. The skies decided to skip spring this year (just as I was enjoying the cool winter) - which explains the sandstorms. Note: sandstorms are formed when there are rapid changes in the temperature...I guess this causes wind currents, which blow sand from the deserts into the city. On a bad day, the whole world just looks yellow like a perpetual sunset, except it's far from pretty because of the poor visibility. Hubby's been so protective he doesn't let me go out during sandstorms so that my asthma doesn't get triggered (awww). Ah and I should add, the house is also looking more lived in..i.e. messier..lol. :)

[3 months and counting]

Since there won't be a 29 Feb, I guess today marks 3 months of being here. Though when it gets lonely sometimes I feel like I've been here for 3 decades. Ok ok, shall not exaggerate...3 years perhaps? Haha.

I guess I'm coping much better than 2 months ago, much less "nightmares" of friends "leaving/forgetting me", more confident that there are people to support me in my adventure here. So to all those who have sent a random email to ask how I am (and HP's "Girl's Talk" emails heh), sms-ed me occasionally and chatted with me on msn, thank you very much for keeping me going. The littlest gesture means a big deal to me. At least I know I'm alone but not alone.

I'm caught between coming home in June for vacations because I really really wanna see the people I love SOON and help Sakura prepare for her exchange in Denmark, and coming home in Dec to help out/attend a very good friend's wedding. Two weddings on the same weekend in fact. How how?? Gah, hate to be caught in a tight situation. Maybe I shall toss a coin heh.

Here's my fave pics of the month, taken at the Edge of the World. Rest of the pics can be found on facebook - here and here. It was my first meeting with a bunch of Singaporeans I got in touch with online. Well sort of, a S'porean married to a Malaysian, a Singaporean from the embassy, and 2 PRCs who claim to be S'poreans (was disappointed to find this out the moment they spoke lol). It was a really adventurous trip, especially when we got off road onto the rocky desert terrain. The 4 wheel drive we rented wasn't up to it (brr this reaffirms my belief that Hyundai batteries suck) so it gave up several times during the trek to the desert. Thank goodness we had a team leader (the M'sian) who was well equipped and very experienced who jump started our car several times lol. I got to drive in the desert (100 m perhaps? I'm satisfied lol), go around without my abaya for once, and made friends with the group, as well as have fun with my colleagues who tagged along with us. The picnic under the acacia trees was also fun..good food...I had kuih baulu and love letters all the way from Sg...yay!! Excellent trip! Looking forward to more adventures. Unfortunately the weather is getting warmer, so it might not be for awhile till we go out next. But for this weekend, we're watching the irises bloom. Did I mention that I initially had to coerce hubby into going for this trip, but after the trip, he was like "we'll go for more trips next time!". Wee! ;)

overhangs

dried up streams

literally standing on the edge

rocks rocks and more rocks

[Happy Valentine's Day]

I've learnt that you do not need a specially designated day to tell the one you love how much you love them, nor a day for them to tell you how much they love you. I must admit that when I was Mr F's "girlfriend" (technically only 2 years, let's not count the other 4 years of our love-hate r'ship lol), I was disappointed when I didn't get anything for V day. When he came over to Sg to meet my family (in March 08), we were like, ok, we have to make up for the lack/inability to celebrate V day together. Same thing for V day 09..when I didn't get flowers, I was like sob sob.

V day 2010 marks our first "celebration" together. We're no longer a virtual couple who has to send e-cards to each other (well we still could heh). But strangely enough, this was what I requested from my dear hubby: Please don't buy me gifts. Why? Well, as cliche as it may sound, I've realised that when you know how much you're loved everyday, you don't need a special day to commemorate your love. Especially a commercially special day. Though Mr F asked me what I wanted, I said I had everything I needed (literally and mushy-ly) and I really had no need to receive anything from him today. I wasn't surprised when he said he didn't want anything because he says that for every occasion...birthday, V day, wedding day, gah..the list goes on, sometimes it gets me frustrated lol. Ok ok I shall not deviate...

So we "celebrated" V day very simply with a meal at Chilli's (after Applebees, food here was bleah). On a side note, since it was CNY, we ordered Shanghai boneless wings as starters lol (that turned out to be the worst dish though). I gave him a card which I made with very limited materials I had (imagine construction paper and 2 colours of pens) which miraculously made him emo.

So baby, thank you for teaching me the meaning of love. To everyone out there who does or doesn't have a valentine, tell the ones you love how much you love them, today and everyday. It could be your family, friends, or anyone who means something to you (quoted from Jam's quote from the V day movie..I think..haha) =)

With that being said, it wouldn't hurt if you wanted to go the extra mile to buy them flowers or a box of chocolate just for the sake of it. Lol :P

Oh and not forgetting, Gong Xi Fa Cai to all those celebrating it!!

[a spiritual journey]

this is gonna be a long post, so if u don't wanna get bored, navigate away..heh..

It was a unique way to celebrate our 6th month anniversay, though the date happened more by coincidence. Hubby and I took a trip to Mekkah to do our Umrah ("mini-Haj/pilgrimage"). I felt it was a little too soon to go...being religiously hopeless and all...but I guess hubby was right - do it when we have the opportunity. I was having a slight sore throat after spending a day in air con (body needed to acclimatise..haha) so was hoping and praying I wouldn't fall sick on the trip. Our bosses were pretty nice to give us 3 days off from work "just like that" (seems its a norm here). Great!

So off we go on a Tuesday afternoon, hubby being very kan chiong about being late and yet us ending up being the first ones at the bus interchange, half an hour before departure. And he calls me kiasu! The bus ride was pretty horrendous, buses here are capped at a max of 80km/h, and we were going at that speed for a freaking 10 hours, with cranky babies and loud music (albeit religious songs, which I didn't understand because they were in Urdu...gah). We stopped for dinner in the middle of nowhere and I started feeling breathless cos of the cold. I must've looked so pathetic that the lady next to us asked if I was ok, and later on another lady said something to the effect of "Oh I thought you were sick cos you were pregnant". Bleah. We arrived in Madinah about 4am, checked into our pathetic hotel and waited till it was time for morning prayers. Excites!

First destination: Prophet's Mosque. It was a chilly walk early in the morning, and as we turned the corner hubby said: Prepare to be awed. And awed I was, with the majestic mosque in front of me, the dazzling lights against the dawn sky making the building look even more astonishing. After Subuh we had breakfast and waited till it was time to see the 3 graves - the Prophet's, Sayidina Abu Bakar and Omar (the Prophet's companions). It was a solemn moment though I didn't get emo like I thought I would. I was more emo when I got to pray in the "Garden of Paradise" (Rawdatul Jannah) since well, praying there was equivalent to praying in Paradise itself, and access to women was only between 7.30-11.30 and yet I was privileged enough to do it. We then headed back to the cockroach-infested room (I kid not) for a much needed nap...did I mention the toilet stunk so badly neither of us used it till we had absolutely no choice? I am SO NOT STAYING THERE AGAIN!!! We spent the rest of the day and night praying, so much so I was wondering whether God would be bored of my prayers lol.
first glance of the Prophet's Mosque

Next morning ................Women's entrance:note the mechanical umbrellas outside..cool!!

By next morning, my stomach was feeling really queasy and was simply too nauseated to eat anything. After morning prayers, hubby suggested that I induce myself to vomit cos it's helped before when I was nauseated due to migraine. A good choice I guess...and so I left some souvenir at the Prophet's mosque toilet lol. I must've thrown up 2 days worth of food and didn't wanna eat anything further so that I wouldn't risk getting sick again. And so I was there, lying miserably in the awful room while hubby went to the mosque alone in the afternoon. I insisted on going for Asar since it was gonna be our last prayer at the mosque and I'm glad hubby let me go. We saw a doctor at the mosque itself and I was diagnosed with heartburn. Got meds for that and my now worsening cough...all for free...wow! Armed with the meds, we made our way for a 2 hour trip around Madinah to see some sites like the Quba mosque (first mosque in Islam), Uhud mountains (where the prominent Battle of Uhud took place), the mosque that had two Qiblats (prayer directions, Masjid Qiblatain), the grave of the matyrs of Islam and the remaining/rebuilt mosques that were built during the Battle of the Trench. At each mosque we did voluntary prayers and again I felt like I hadn't prayed so many prayers in a span of two hours lol. It was a good decision going for our tour without the group that night, because by the time we set off (we have notorious members in the bus who do not know the meaning of punctuality), it was dark and cold. And thank God for the meds, I could finally have dinner that night whilst on our journey to Mekkah.

Uhud mountain range

After another gruelling journey, we arrived at Mekkah at about 2.30am, ahead of schedule. We checked into a 5 star hotel which was almost paradise compared to the hotel in Madinah. Hubby was persistant about going for our Umrah (the actual ritual) right then though I felt it was better to nap first. I guess he had a valid point though, with our adrenalin pumping because of the excitement, it would be better to go now and snooze off later so that's what we did. I got more and more nervous as we set out for our Umrah. Would I do it right? Would God accept my prayers? What if I didn't do things correctly?

Hubby held my hand as we entered Masjid Al- Haram ("The Sacred Mosque"). The moment I looked up at the Ka'bah, I started tearing. Masha Allah, truly I was blessed for being given the chance to see the Ka'bah so soon. Never in my life would I have thought I would be in Mekkah at age 27, and here it was, standing in front of me. Words do not do justice to what I felt at that moment. As a matter of fact, I was so overwhelmed with emotions that hubby had to nudge me to pray (I made a long list lol). Wow wow wow - the Ka'bah, in front of me, in this breathtaking mosque - THE mosque. Allah is Great. Allah is Gracious. Allah is Merciful. We did our Umrah rituals including the Tawaf (circumambulating the Ka'bah 7 times), praying our 2 rakaats of prayers, drinking zam zam water and finally heading to Safa and Marwah for the Sa'ee. Might I add here that thanks to my hubby's wise decision, the place wasn't crowded at that time, and these two humble servants of God had the highest privilege of actually kissing the Black Stone at the corner of the Ka'bah (that too after having to wait in line only for a couple of minutes), touch the Ka'bah wall at another corner (Rukn al Yamani) and even pray between the Hijr and the Ka'bah (equivalent to praying in the Ka'bah itself). Although F had been there several times before, he said going with his wife was a blessing since this time he finally got to kiss the stone. Hee :) I must say I was so nervous the whole time, I even forgot what to say at times. Thank God for having F beside me, guiding me everytime I froze up. The 7 laps of Sa'ee wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, and we even managed to complete it before Subuh prayers. Wow, our Umrah was over. Dear Allah, please accept our prayers and forgive our sins and give us the chance to visit Your House again.

................................................................... This Is It!

We went back to our hotel and slept like we hadn't slept in days (which was partially true) and even missed Zohor..oops :P (this was why doing Umrah first thing we arrived was a brilliant idea). I didn't go for Asar because my chest wasn't feeling so good, so prayed in the room instead. And I was like - wow, talk about praying in the direction of the Ka'bah...our room was barely 200m from it. We did our last Tawaf the next day and packed for home. Oh, that was after I did a little shopping of course..hehe. The ride home was slightly shorter but just as painful, with my sore throat and bad cough to manage as well. We did reach home safely though, All Praises to Allah for providing us with a safe journey and a magnificent experience. Maybe my sickness was a way sign God was cleansing my sins. Insha Allah we will return again end of this year for the Haj. Ameen.

The pictures don't do much justice to the splendour of the place, but they will be a good reminder of our first journey the Ka'bah.

[our home]

Since I've been getting requests to see our house, here goes... (click on images to see them bigger)

As you can see, I'm very bo liao...so I have time to do these things..haha :P

We actually got the sofa, tv table and kitchen cabinets second hand...all for under $800. Cool huh..heh. Well I like how we managed to find matching sets like the sofa and the tv table, and the kitchen cabinets go really well with the wall. Love how the walls are painted in vibrant colours too. We didn't expect the bedroom furniture to be so huge but they literally scaled it up from the "queen size" one we saw...which explains our huge headboard (if u can stretch ur imagination a lil haha). Love our home!! Oh and forgot to caption: caught the Honda in its full glory, cos hubby rarely sends it for washing haha. And even this time, it was cos of my coercion hehehe. He has a point actually, there's not much point in washing it regularly cos with the amount of sand/dust here and with his car being black, it got dirty by the fourth day..bleah. I shall just admire it in this pic where it looks really sexy...haha.

[one month]

"Let's celebrate tomorrow with a dinner!"
"Why? Because I survived one month here?"
"No, to celebrate our one month together."

Ah, as you can see, we have different ideas about my one month here heh.

• I've gotten used to my monochrome scenery (black & white clothes, sandy coloured buildings) , but I still forget to put on my abaya sometimes (before leaving the house that is).

• I've gotten used to the well-conceived huge shopping malls and giant hypermarkets, but I can't come to terms that that will be my main form of entertainment outside the house for awhile.

• I've gotten used to watching movie after movie at home, and now that we have a TV & DVD player, we don't have to be in our room all the time; but as before, I still feel that I'm wasting my time away when I'm watching a movie at home.
  
  
• I like trying new recipes but I miss the taste of that particular chilli and tamarind that I use to make a really good sambal.

• I love the winter but my skin is getting really really dry.
  
  
• I know I should be making new friends, but I so so miss the ones I left.
  
  
• I love the time I spend with my husband, but beneath that, I still (literally) dream of Sg every night since I've been here. If dreams are a reflection of what you yearn for, boy is that a strong indication.

It's been a month and I miss my family and friends terribly. I hope I get used to living abroad, cos this month sure wasn't easy. But yes I shall trudge on. Thanks honey for being patient with my homesickness, and for looking after me so well.

[a new beginning]

It'll be two weeks tomorrow since I left my comfort zone. Wow. Seems longer than that..haha. Today was also the "official" day I started work, though I'm still working from home now (yeah yeah I know, I'm supposed to be WORKing right now..hehe).

How has life been? Well for starters, it was great that we got to celebrate our 5th month together, together. Like, finally. Things have been moving pretty fast. In the first few days I was here, we were busy setting up the house. And in Mr F's efficient shopping style, we managed to buy almost all the things we need for our house - from the sofa set to dining table to kitchen cabinets and stove. So efficient right? Haha. I was so drained by the end of it, by Thur that week I was like, ok, we seriously need to take a break on Fri (esp since Mr F was gonna start work on Sat). Must say the one week off for Eid was a Gbless since we finished so many things then. Now we're only left with a TV and DVD player, which upon my "nagging", F agreed to getting on his next pay. Hehe.

How's the apartment? It's a nice two bedroom apt...tho I can't say much about the living room. It's so tiny we decided to be a little creative, by making the 2nd bedroom into the living room instead, and leaving the current living room to be our dining place. Otherwise, the house is great - bedrooms are big, toilets are alright. We're proud to finally say we have a HOME. (Though not proud enough to invite people yet, that will be done once my cooking skills improve haha).

apt from outside. ours is at the 9 o'clock position

How's Riyadh? Well, to be honest the city looks better than I expected. Neat roads and housing, clean and a little green (how green can desert country get right? heh) and good buildings. But that being said, reality struck in on the very first night here - we were waiting 20 mins at a pizza place, and the waiter finally comes with 2 boxes of pizza. Why? It was a "singles restaurant" i.e. only men allowed to dine there. When F asked if we could stay and eat since there was no one there, the waiter said it wasn't a problem for them, but if the religious police came by, we were the ones who would be in trouble. And so, our first dinner was in his car. Welcome to Saudi... As if that wasn't annoying enough, the next day we tried 2 places for lunch, both were "singles" restaurants, and finally one filipino directed us to McDonald's cos "that's the only place here that has family section". I was like wow, I came all the way here to eat McD??? Bleah. To top it off, the cubicles we sat in had "curtains" so that we could get more privacy "enclosed". Even at food courts there's a cordoned off section for "families" (i.e. women/families) by high walls. Hmmmm. I shall not dwell further on this. I've just told F to make sure he knows where "family restaurants" are so that I don't have to get pissed off everytime we're rejected from some place. Brrr. It's also annoying that I can't go out without Mr F cos there is virtually no public transport here other than taxis (or I can walk of course), but right now, I don't think I dare to take taxis yet. It's not that they aren't safe, it's just cos the cabbies don't speak much English. It's a lil overwhelming knowing you have to be so dependent on someone. Sigh...

"family restaurant" cubicle with an accordian style door for more privacy


one thing i can't complain about is the excellent malls they have - here's one with a safari themed deco

my monochrome life has started....

How's work? Work's great. I've got very flexible bosses who let me work from home, partly cos they don't have a permanent office yet. As you can see, I don't think that's a very good option for me cos I get distracted...haha. They're very warm and friendly, a far cry from what I imagined them to be - big burly strict men lol. Spent the last few days at work being introduced to the 2 hospitals I will be in touch with and I must say that people here are very friendly. Never did I enter a room where people were not smiling. And Dr A is so popular that the nurses just greet him fervently as he was rushing me along corridoors bringing me place to place, promising me that I'll definitely get lose in the place when I was there on my own lol. I was apparently employed because of my high-standing coming from NUS (they look up to NUS) and cos I have experience writing manuscripts. I was like wow, in SG the few papers I wrote would've been nothing, but over here they were impressed. Good for me anyway, I can pretend that I'm super brilliant. The research prospects sounds promising, and hopefully I can get to dabble in some of the things they suggested.

And the most popular question of all...How is my REAL married life? Now that I really have one..haha. It's been great I must say. We didn't fight for a record amount of time (we seemed to fight almost every other day online for all sorts of petty reasons...I attribute the fighting to miscommunications that occur while being in a long-distance relationship). Mr F has been extremely supportive, especially when I've been feeling very homesick (I miss you all so much!!). He's also helpful around the house, which is so great since I hate doing housework (alone)! We're still getting used to each others quirks (like he has to put up with the noises I make while stretching in the morning lol, I have to put up with his running to the PC the moment he wakes up...prob a habit he inculcated when he woke up at 5am daily to chat with me heh).

Guess that's all to update for now. Hope more exciting things pop up for me to update heh. See ya!

[till we meet again]

Will be off to start my new life in approx 12 hours time. The time has finally come...wow. The past few weeks have zoomed by, with lots of things at work needed to be tied up (with my darling prof who loves to give more work when someone is leaving..gah), meeting up with friends and packing.

The goodbyes have been bittersweet. I'm really touched that so many friends wanted to meet up, even a few who haven't been in constant contact. I've also probaby put on a lot of weight cos I've been eating and eating and eating, treats or otherwise lol. Have also become a lil thick skinned: when ppl say they wanna treat I'll gladly accept instead of refusing. Haha. This is in light of the fact that I've been going out almost every single day, and dining isn't very cheap. Plus since I'm the "VIP", it doesn't hurt to be treated like one..hahaha :P

Definitely gonna miss my friends - they've been there for me a lot. Please keep in touch online, I still need you around. You guys rock my world! Can't say yet when I'll be back for hols, but hopefully we'll meet again soon.

To my darling Auntie, cousin, sis...gonna miss u lots n lots n lots. Don't be stingy with sending overseas sms k? What's 15 cents compared to lonely me right? Hehe. I shall be back in Singapore one day, with a vengeance.. ;)

This is it....

[This Is It!]

The clock is ticking fast. Can't believe 3 weeks ago I booked tix for MJ's movie, and tmr we're gonna watch it. There I was thinking, that's still a long way to go. 3 weeks have past, and the next 3 weeks will probably zoom by too. Yikes!

Things seem to be happening really smoothly. From worrying about whether MB would get the visa done on time (2 weeks all in all instead of the month we expected), to wondering whether the freaking expensive shit test results would be done on time (8 days instead of the 4 weeks they warned me about), to worrying [again] whether the Saudi embassy over here would process it fast enough since they're busy processing Haj visas now (so much for the delay, they did it within 2 days instead of 3 lol). I even found my flimsy luggage bag! Now I don't have to worry about an empty bag which in itself weighs about 5kg, taking up 1/4 of my valuable luggage allowance! The universe really wants me to go lol.

And as Auntie said, wow, it's getting more and more real...I'm leaving soon!!!

Visa - Check
Air ticket - Check
Luggage bag - Check
Packing - Pending hehe (hardworking me has already started tho :P)
Meeting up with family/friends before I leave - In process

And most exciting of all...
Apartment - Check! Can't believe we finally have a place to call our own, even if it's temporary. It's a new apartment so that's a big bonus, equidistance from both our work places...MB really put in a lot of effort into finding the perfect place *muaks*. Can't wait to start furnishing and decorating it...wee!

[lesson kept!]

I thought I learnt my lesson when I watched "The Time Traveler's Wife" after reading the book. But no, I rushed to finish "My Sister's Keeper" before watching the movie too. And boy was I disappointed again. I guess I've gotten used to little details getting changed, such as how Campbell's long lost girlfriend Julia was totally excluded from the movie. But this was like...they changed the entire ending! Gah! Wonder why they did that - perhaps so that the masses would like it, a predictable ending. I do think though that the audience would've been more surprised at the original ending in the book. At least I was. And no, not that I like the original ending anyway. So painful. I didn't cry while reading the book, nor at the movie (only teared at the scene where they went to the beach). Surprising, since I'm an emo person..haha. Or maybe I'm currently only allergic to romantic tear-jerkers, for reasons that are obvious..heh.

Told Sakura never to let me watch book-movies after reading the books again. End of!

[sunset]

yay! decided that since i have tons of photos, i should upload one of my own as my background. since i absolutely love sunsets, and this is one of the most current ones i took from kerala, decided to put it up. pretty!

p.s. silly me didn't host the previous background myself. ah well, i used to be html stupid. not that i'm that smart now...but at least i know how to change my background...haha

[resigned]

Resigned to fate?

Well I'm not exactly sure.

But it seems God has some plans for me. And it's time to move on. Literally and figuratively.

I've resigned from my job as of today, officially. In what seems as a sudden move, even to me, I'll be leaving what I've called home for the past 27 years, to a distant land, to venture into new things.

Why the sudden move? Well, I shall let reasons be known when the time is right. Right now may be a little premature to announce things. And no, I'm not pregnant.

How am I feeling?
A little pensive about leaving a great workplace where I've been showered with care that I did not expect for the past 4 years.
A little melancholic that I'll be leaving family and friends behind.
A little disappointed that my stranger of a family has expressed almost no indication of missing me, save for my sister, aunt and cousin (I guess I shouldn't be too picky).

Unfortunately I have a very realistic husband who tells me the melancholia will get worse, instead of comforting me that things will be alright. It's not exactly what I need to hear right now. Sigh.

But I am also feeling...
Happy that I've been given a new opportunity, and so soon at that InshaAllah.
Excited about things to come.
Delighted that I'll finally be able to be with my husband.

Though I haven't bought the plane ticket yet, the date should be 29 Nov. So that I can fly off after a dear friend's wedding.

Am I ready?

I guess you can never know when you're fully ready. But it feels right, taking the plunge. God please guide me.

P.S. On a totally different note, gah, my blog pic is gone! Ery, where are u when I need u? Haha. Gotta find a new skin soon. Wow, talk about changes!

[gone too soon]

First it was MJ, now him. Someone closer to heart. It was more of shock than sadness when I heard the news. 33 - so young. Somehow it makes it more real seeing the Boyz carrying his coffin. And when Ronan broke down during the eulogy...sigh... I had a few friends who said this news reminded them of me, how I used to be so crazy over him. Well I've gotten over him, but it's still sad that someone so talented, someone I grew up listening to, someone so young, will no longer be able to share his passion with the world. Truly a star who faded a way to soon. Life is fragile. You'll be missed. Stephen Patrick David Gately - 17.03.76-11.10.09 (Ha I still rem his birthdate :P)

Stephen Gately's Boyzone bandmates have paid tribute to the singer at his funeral in Dublin.

Boyzone's Ronan Keating sobbed as he told mourners at St Laurence O'Toole Church that the world had lost one of its greatest stars.

He said: "We have lost our brother and I've lost my wing man. He will live on in our songs and whenever us four are together his spirit is alive. For Stephen we'll carry on, but it will never be the same without him. A beautiful man who is now the perfect angel. Forever young and never forgotten."

Keating and the remaining bandmates Mikey Graham, Shane Lynch and Keith Duffy joined family, neighbours and celebrity friends for the emotional farewell.

Around 3,500 fans listened outside as Keating, Duffy and Graham remembered their friend before singing together in a musical tribute.

Boyzone's manager Louis Walsh said: "Stephen was one of life's positive people with a lovely nature and he was someone who always had a smile on his face.

"He loved to laugh and joke and was always the life and soul of the party and would give everyone he met his time."

Gately was found dead last Saturday after a night out with his partner Andrew Cowles and friend Georgi Dochev on the holiday island of Majorca.

A post-mortem examination found he died from natural causes, the medical report recording pulmonary oedema or fluid on the lungs.

His body was flown home on a private plane with Mr Cowles and the remaining Boyzone members, who have had tattoos in honour of Gately with the letter "S" and dates "76 09" etched on their skin. (ITN)

[stompin' stompin'!]

1 hr and 50 mins of sheer entertainment! Wow! All these years of waiting really paid of, I finally got to watch STOMP yesterday. I was amazed at the amount of energy these guys had - they were literally bouncing around on stage hammering, pounding, tap dancing every second of the show. The moves were very well choreographed and the beats were very catchy. My fave performances were when they swung from the high wall of pots and pans and started drumming...the sound was so good that it sounded like real instruments; and when they did their signature broom stick and stomping-on-garbage cans bit we see in cinemas at the start of movies. I was also impressed at how each performance ended with a punch, sometimes expected, most of the times with a nice twist. Ah and of course, the crowd's fave "fat guy" who was the comedian of the night. When I read that the show was going to be funny, I was wondering how it could be made funny, and I certainly didn't expect it to be this hilarious, so yep, a really great job done. Engaging the audience was also a nice bit since we found out how uncoordinated we are in clapping according to rhythm lol. The lead also had a LOT of stamina, rarely saw him going in for a (long) break, maybe only during one segment of the show. Was also thinking that boy, they must be really fit to do all that stomping and banging and hitting non-stop. We also discovered new "instruments" that could be banged on, including kitchen sinks and giant rubber tyres..haha (tho din really enjoy the bit with the metal chairs especially when they dragged it on the wooden floor...eeks..luckily no goosebumps :P). Oh, and we were so enthralled by it all, that we hardly noticed that 1.5 hours had passed when they tried to do their "we're done with the show" stunt. I was so much in disbelieve I even took out my phone to check the time lol. And they didn't even have any intermission! Luckily they came back out and gave us their last round of stomping. GH and I were so into the beats that we wished it lasted longer. Definitely a worthwhile show!